Raptors name Marko Jaric assistant coach
Raptors name Marko Jaric assistant coach
TORONTO --
Toronto Raptors president JWoo announced Sunday, on the eve of training camp that Raptors legend Marko Jaric has been named an assistant on the staff of head coach LaDon Gola, who, yes, is still the coach after like 15 years. Jaric, 44, was a first-round selection of Toronto in 2000, where he went on to dominate the NDL and become a very useful role player on some teams that were never quite good enough to win the title.
"We are ecstatic to welcome Marko back home where he belongs, as are the women of Ontario," JWoo said. "The expertise he brings at shooting his shot, in so many ways, should prove influential to our young and exciting team."
Jaric's day-to-day focus will be on improving the outside scoring ability of Toronto's many young players. By night, he will focus on taking them to the club and learning how to talk to ladies like a gentleman. He will also oversee player development with Raptors 905, where the bare ass print he once left while doing some business on an office wall (don't ask) has been memorialized with a plaque.
"I'm so glad to be here," Jaric said in a statement. "I will teach these guys to make baskets. Ziga Samar has never held hands with a lady in his life. Amen Thompson has been shooting with the wrong hand. None of these guys have ever eaten Cevapi. It's time for some growth to occur around here."
Shooting is said to be a major focus for the Raptors, who have invested in promising young talents like Scottie Barnes, Amen Thompson and Dyson Daniels, giving them quite a bit of size on the perimeter, but nobody who can make more than four free throws in a row at practice. Jaric, who was a career 40-plus percent free throw shooter and still holds the 905's record with 45 field goal attempts in a game, is expected to work closely with them. Just, uh, not too closely.
"I played with Marko for a few years back in the day," Gola said. "And look, when you're tanking, you need guys like him. Not just for the value on the court, but the value off of it. JWoo asked me to hire an entire staff of French guys. I said no. We compromised on Marko. I called and told him we'd stock the coaches' office with Serbian lager. And reminded him that free health care covers birth control. God, losing sucks. But I love it here. CULTURE!!!"
Jaric recently divorced his wife Adriana Lima. God knows why.
Toronto Raptors president JWoo announced Sunday, on the eve of training camp that Raptors legend Marko Jaric has been named an assistant on the staff of head coach LaDon Gola, who, yes, is still the coach after like 15 years. Jaric, 44, was a first-round selection of Toronto in 2000, where he went on to dominate the NDL and become a very useful role player on some teams that were never quite good enough to win the title.
"We are ecstatic to welcome Marko back home where he belongs, as are the women of Ontario," JWoo said. "The expertise he brings at shooting his shot, in so many ways, should prove influential to our young and exciting team."
Jaric's day-to-day focus will be on improving the outside scoring ability of Toronto's many young players. By night, he will focus on taking them to the club and learning how to talk to ladies like a gentleman. He will also oversee player development with Raptors 905, where the bare ass print he once left while doing some business on an office wall (don't ask) has been memorialized with a plaque.
"I'm so glad to be here," Jaric said in a statement. "I will teach these guys to make baskets. Ziga Samar has never held hands with a lady in his life. Amen Thompson has been shooting with the wrong hand. None of these guys have ever eaten Cevapi. It's time for some growth to occur around here."
Shooting is said to be a major focus for the Raptors, who have invested in promising young talents like Scottie Barnes, Amen Thompson and Dyson Daniels, giving them quite a bit of size on the perimeter, but nobody who can make more than four free throws in a row at practice. Jaric, who was a career 40-plus percent free throw shooter and still holds the 905's record with 45 field goal attempts in a game, is expected to work closely with them. Just, uh, not too closely.
"I played with Marko for a few years back in the day," Gola said. "And look, when you're tanking, you need guys like him. Not just for the value on the court, but the value off of it. JWoo asked me to hire an entire staff of French guys. I said no. We compromised on Marko. I called and told him we'd stock the coaches' office with Serbian lager. And reminded him that free health care covers birth control. God, losing sucks. But I love it here. CULTURE!!!"
Jaric recently divorced his wife Adriana Lima. God knows why.
free healthcare has never been more important
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