Article: SLN RFA 2v2 Tournament
Article: SLN RFA 2v2 Tournament
Sup Fellers,
I RFA'd Luka this offseason, my first RFA tag since I tagged Tony Parker. That made me wonder how those RFAs would stack up against other teams' RFA tags over the years. I thought it'd be fun to put together a fake 2v2 tournament, with each team comprising of the best two RFA tags that team has ever placed. Most teams had exactly 2 RFAs in their history, but 7 teams had only one RFA guy, and 8 teams had three RFA guys (the Nuggets and Heat had 0...for simplicity, they were left out of this tournament). The 8 leftover RFAs were:
Gilbert Arenas
MPJ
Turkey Glue
Kevin Love
Brandon Ingram
Shane Battier
Ricky Rubio
Zach Randolph
By random selection, I assigned one of those 8 to the 7 teams that needed an extra, and viola - a tournament field!
The next step was to seed the tournament, which I did by hand. For each player, I imagined them at the peak of their powers that we've seen so far - so looking at the entire body of work to date and picking the best version of each player. I seeded the teams 1-27, and created an initial tournament bracket:
Some notes:
- The tournament structure with 27 entrants means that there are 5 byes, which is perfect - I think the top 5 teams are on a separate tier from the rest of the tournament. I had these ranked as:
5. Bucks: KD and Donovan Mitchell
4. Raptors: Lou Williams and Aaron Gordon
3. Bulls: Tony Parker and Luka Doncic
2. Pistons: Greg Oden and Kyrie Irving
1. Hornets: Yao Ming and Jamal Murray
Now, let's go through each matchup and pick a winner! Each game will be played to 21, by 1s and 2s (so 3 point shooting is at a premium), no make it take it.
16 seed MIN (KAT and Brandon Ingram) vs. 17 seed NJN (OKURRRR and Gilbert Arenas)
This is a close one right off the bat, but I think the size advantage that the Timberwolves have combined with their ability to match the Nets shot-for-shot from 3 gives them the edge.
Result: MIN 21 - NJN 16
8 seed LAC (Derrick Rose and Markelle Fultz) vs. 25 seed ATL (Amare Stoudemire and Russell Westbrook)
Amare may be able to overwhelm whoever guards him in the post, but do we really trust Russ to get him the ball consistently? And even if he does, Fultz and Rose could absolutely bury the Hawks with 3s and force Russ to try to shoot them back in the game. I think this one gets out of hand quickly.
Result: LAC 21 - ATL 9
9 seed UTA (Kenyon Martin and Marvin Williams) vs. 24 seed LAL (Bam Adebayo and Ricky Rubio
Despite being ranked 24th, this Lakers team is frisky - against a smaller team, Rubio and Bam could have had some upset potential. But I think Marvin is a matchup nightmare for this team, and probably coasts to an easy victory - even 5-6 Rubio steals wouldn't be enough to overcome the scoring barrage that's likely to come from Starvin' Marvin.
Result: UTA 21 - LAL 12
13 seed DAL (Pau Gasol and Hassan Whiteside) vs. 20 seed BOS (Paul George and Sasha Pavlovic)
Upset alert! Sasha is the clear weak link in this matchup, but against Pau and Hassan, I'm not sure he's at quite as much of a disadvantage. PG is clearly the best player in this game, and Boston is the only team likely to hit threes - combine that with the fact that Whiteside has never really shown an ability to hit jumpers and I think the Celtics pull this one out, on the heels of several threes.
Result: BOS 21 - DAL 18
12 seed NYK (Chris Bosh and Deron Williams) vs. 21 seed IND (Damontas Sabonis and Shane Battier)
Sabonis gets a tough draw picking up Battier in the expansion draft - though Battier brings some three point shooting, he's just not gonna be enough of a presence on offense to go shot for shot with DWill and Chris Bosh. Bosh should be able to slow down Sabonis enough to comfortably coast to a win - it won't be pure domination, but it also will never feel that close. Kinda like the intimacy in Joe's sex life.
Result: NYK 21 - IND 15
15 seed SEA (Brandon Roy and Jalen Brunson) vs. 18 seed PHX (Luol Deng and Rui Hachimura)
I may have been a bit unfavorable towards the Suns in the seeding process - looking at this matchup, as promising as Brunson looks, I think Rui is the best player in this game. I'm not sure how often Brandon Roy is going to be able to stop Rui, even at the peak of Roy's powers, and as the defensive lynchpin of several dominant Jazz teams, I think peak Lu will be able to hold his own against Brunson.
Result: PHX 21 - SEA 14
7 seed HOU (Jamal Crawford and Blake Griffin) vs 26 seed WAS (Chris Paul and Kevin Love)
Kind of a fascinating matchup IRL, but in SLN, the Rockets have the clear upper hand - Jamal and Blake both became the elite, efficient scorers that CP3 and Love never did, and while Love's three point shooting makes this matchup closer than the seeding may predict, this is still a comfortable win for the Rockets.
Result: HOU 21 - WAS 14
10 seed ORL (Al Jefferson and Devin Booker) vs. 23 seed SAC (Justise Winslow and Mark Madsen)
This one is no contest - the two the Kings trot out are certainly able to hold their own in a 5 on 5 game where they can play their role, but when the ball needs to be in one of their hands at all time, they'll shrivel up. This one's a blow out - Hefty and Booker are scoring on most possessions, and I'm not sure Winslow or Madsen will ever get an easy look.
Result: ORL 21 - SAC 5
14 seed SAS (Kawhi Leonard and Emeka Okafor) vs. 19 seed VAN (Jay Williams and Caron Butler)
This one is close - it's just a bit of a matchup nightmare on both sides. Either Spur will have a huge size and strength advantage on Jay Williams, and I'm not sure how many stops he'll get - but at the same time, Okafor is basically a 0 on offense, so Kawhi will have to carry most of the scoring load (which he's more than capable of doing). I think this one is a tossup, but at the end of the day, I think the Grizz have enough scoring power to combat Kawhi's abilities, and think they'll make life miserable for Okafor on defense.
Result: VAN 21 - SAS 19
6 seed PHI (LeBron James and Michael Porter Jr.) vs. 27 seed CLE (Josh Smith and Hedo Turkey Glue)
LeBron is probably the most overpowered player in the tournament - and if we run this tournament in a few seasons after MPJ's 100 potential kicks in, this could easily be the 1 seed in the tournament. For now, they'll have to settle for kicking the living shit out of Josh Smith and Turkey Glue, a team with solid SLN careers but with no chance of matching up against LeBron.
Result: PHI 21 - CLE 4
11 seed POR (Jameer Nelson and Lauri Markkanen) vs. 22 seed GSW (Monta Ellis and Joel Przybilla)
Jameer and Lauri are just an 11 seed, but their 3 point shooting ability makes them one of the scariest teams in the tournament. Monta is a great fit for this format, but I can only imagine his body language and decorum would deteriorate when he sees his playing partner is the Vanilla Gorilla. Przybilla isn't gonna add anything on offense, and he'll likely get torched by Lauri on the defensive end. Portland should cruise.
Result: POR 21 - GSW - 12
1 seed CHA (Yao Ming and Jamal Murray) vs. 16 seed MIN (Karl Anthony Towns and Brandon Ingram)
The Hornets are the preeminent favorite in this tournament - Yao was an unstoppable scorer at his peak and Murray does enough from the outside to help them keep pace with even the most gifted 2v2 lineups. KAT and Ingram are an interesting matchup, but unless KAT's zesty asks for foul calls are answered, this seems like too much to ask of them.
Result: CHA 21 - MIN 14
8 seed LAC (Derrick Rose and Markelle Fultz) vs. 9 seed UTA (Kenyon Martin and Marvin Williams)
I think this game is a complete toss up - the results mostly depends on Marvin's ability to outscore Fultz and Rose, since the Clippers duo should be able to get theirs. I think in this matchup KMart is able to get a couple blocked shots against Rose, and with the Clippers being a less than elite 3pt duo in this tournament, I give the Jazz the edge.
Result: UTA 21 - LAC 19
4 seed TOR (Lou Williams and Aaron Gordon) vs. 20 seed BOS (Paul George and Sasha Pavlovic)
The cinderella story ends here for Boston, as there is simply nowhere for Pavlovic to hide in this matchup. PG will put up a fight, but Sasha will just get played off the court by Sweet Lou and Gordon.
Result: TOR 21 - BOS 8
5 seed MIL (Kevin Durant and Donovan Mitchell) vs. 12 seed NYK (Chris Bosh and Deron Williams)
Tough draw for DWill and Bosh to go up against the likely SLN Goat in KD and a competent scorer in Donovan Mitchell. I think Durant does a much better job on Bosh than vice versa, and Mitchell and Williams are kind of a wash - I expect a comfortable win for the Bucks here.
Result: MIL 21 - NYK 14
2 seed DET (Greg Oden and Kyrie Irving) vs. 18 seed PHX (Luol Deng and Rui Hachimura)
Lu and Rui were a fun story from the first round, but they run into an absolute buzzsaw tandem in Oden and Kyrie. Provided Kyrie isn't on a walkabout for this game, he should torch Lu on offense, and I expect Oden to neutralize Rui's scoring ability. Easy win for the Pistons.
Result: DET 21 - PHX 12
7 seed HOU (Jamal Crawford and Blake Griffin) vs. 10 seed ORL (Al Jefferson and Devin Booker)
Extremely even matchup between two scoring bigs and two high-volume guards, each of whom own a 3 point shootout title. This one is a complete coin flip to me, but in the absence of strong evidence either way, I'm tempted to go with the Magic - Al Jefferson was more dominant at his peak than Blake ever was, and I think he and Booker pull off the upset in exciting fashion.
Result: ORL 21 - HOU 19)
3 seed CHI (Tony Parker and Luka Doncic) vs. 19 seed VAN (Jay Williams and Caron Butler)
After an emotional win in R1, the Grizzlies will have a tough task ahead of them in R2 against TP and Luka. The Bulls deficiency in this tournament is size, but they shouldn't have to worry about that in this matchup. The Grizz should go down without much of a fight in this one.
Result: CHI 21 - VAN 10
6 seed PHI (LeBron James and Michael Porter Jr) vs. 11 seed POR (Jameer Nelson and Lauri Markkanen)
LeBron should be able to score inside on Lauri basically whenever he has the chance. But are we sure that'll be enough to win this matchup? If I'm Lauri and Jameer, I'm shooting basically all 3s, and I'm daring MPJ to shoot as much as I can. Even if LeBron shoots 100% from the field, there's a path for the Blazers to pull off the upset with a good three point shooting day and a lot of MPJ shots / TOs.
Result: POR 21 - PHI 17
1 seed CHA (Yao Ming and Jamal Murray) vs. 9 seed UTA (Kenyon Martin and Marvin Williams)
After eking out a win in Round 2, I can only imagine Marvin Williams' dismay when he realizes the opponents he's set to face in the quarterfinals. KMart has two all defensive first teams to his name to go along with a DPOY in 2007, but even he likely won't be able to slow down Chairman Yao (Googling Yao's nicknames was a very fruitful search - honorable mention was Shaquie Chan). Too much firepower for the Jazz to overcome.
Result: CHA 21 - UTA 15
4 seed TOR (Lou Williams and Aaron Gordon) vs. 5 seed MIL (Kevin Durant and Donovan Mitchell)
Extremely tight matchup, and had KD shown any sign of faltering in big moments in SLN, I might have sided with the Fighting Wembys, but alas, Durant has absolutely ravaged the East and I am personally snakebitten. I think KD demands the ball and pulls this one out, even though on paper, the matchup is probably more appealing to the Raptors with the Lou Williams / Donovan Mitchell matchup favoring Toronto.
Result: MIL 21 - TOR 17
2 seed DET (Greg Oden and Kyrie Irving) vs. 10 seed ORL (Al Jefferson and Devin Booker)
The Magic have had a nice run through this tournament, but it ends here in the quarterfinals. Oden is the perfect candidate to neutralize Al Jefferson's scoring ability, and Kyrie should cook against Devin Booker. Kyrie, Greggie, easy, Pistons in 5
Result: DET 21 - ORL 14
3 seed CHI (Tony Parker and Luka Doncic) against 11 seed POR (Jameer Nelson and Lauri Markkanen)
I think it's fair to expect an emotional letdown from Portland after taking down the King in Round 2. TP probably edges Jameer out, but not by much - but I find it hard to believe that Lauri is ever going to stop Luka. Luka and Parker should get what they want on offense, and get enough stops on defense to bring home a comfortable W.
Result: CHI 21 - POR 16
For the Semifinals and Finals, I'm gonna let ChatGPT decide the winners. I'll plug in scouting reports for each player remaining and ask it to sim a best of 3 series with the given rules. Here are the descriptions:
Yao Ming
Yao is one of the best scoring bigs we've ever seen. In his best season, he averaged 27.1 ppg on 50.8% shooting from the floor, while making 93.1% of his free throws (he took over 8 per game). He was an elite rebounder, notching over 13 per game that season, and contributed on defense with .9 steals and 2.4 blocks per game, to go along with 1.9 turnovers - a manageable amount considering his usage. He won two titles with the Charlotte Hornets.
Jamal Murray
Jamal Murray is an elite perimeter scorer with excellent range. In his best season, he averaged 31.3 ppg on 49% shooting, along with almost three 3-pointers per game at a 43% clip. Defensively, he steals the ball at a high rate (2.3 times per game) and even chips in with .3 blocks per game. He does turn the ball over a fair amount, at 2.9 times per game.
Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant is arguably the greatest player in our league's history. Currently defending a 3peat, his best season saw him average 38 ppg on an absurd 52.8% shooting, making over 2.5 threes per game at a 42.8% clip. He's a plus rebounder and defender too - he averaged 8.4 rebounds, 1.9 steals, and 1.1 blocks per game - along with just 1.8 turnovers, a preposterous number considering the amount of time the ball is in his hands.
Donovan Mitchell
Donovan Mitchell is a great scorer inside and out, averaging 30.2 ppg on 47% shooting from the floor and adding 2.6 threes per game at 42.4%. He steals the ball effectively, at 2 times per game, which is necessary to combat his turnovers (2.6 per game). His positional defense is pretty good, but his rebounding is just average.
Greg Oden
Greg Oden is the defensive foil of Yao Ming. He's one of the best pure defensive / rebounding bigs our league has seen, averaging 14.6 rebounds, 1.2 steals, and 3.6 blocks per game to go along with just 1.7 turnovers. On offense, he scores with volume, and at his peak did have decent efficiency, shooting 46.2% from the floor and shooting 7.6 free throws per game at a respectable 76%.
Kyrie Irving
A mercurial superstar, when Kyrie is on the court, he's unstoppable. In his best season, he led a championship run by averaging 34.5ppg, shooting over 50% from the floor and almost 45% from three (at high volume - making 3.3 per game), and by being a staunch defender and taking care of the ball. He averaged 2.3 steals and added 0.4 blocks, but only turned it over 1.7 times per game.
Tony Parker
Tony Parker held the mantle as the league's best point guard, and passed the torch to Kyrie, retiring right as Kyrie came into the league. Parker was a high-volume scorer, averaging 34.9 ppg on 50.6% shooting, and got to the line over 6 times per game while making 94% of his free throws. He was serviceable on defense, stealing the ball twice a game and adding .2 blocks, and only turned it over 1.6 times per game.
Luka Doncic
Luka is a matchup nightmare given his outside scoring prowess and strength inside. He scored 30.1ppg on 48.1% shooting while making almost three 3-pointers per game at 43%. He's an exceptional rebounder, bringing down 8.5 per game, and a good defender (1.8 steals) - his only deficiency is his turnovers (2.6 per game).
Let's get to the results! Remember, we're now best-of-3 for the rest of the tournament.
1 seed CHA (Yao Ming and Jamal Murray) vs. 5 seed MIL (Kevin Durant and Donovan Mitchell)
ChatGPT Sim and Description:
Game 1 saw Kevin Durant dominate with his shot-making, dropping 18 points as the Bucks cruised to a 21-15 win, despite Yao Ming’s presence inside. In Game 2, Jamal Murray caught fire, hitting four deep twos en route to a 21-19 Hornets victory. In the deciding Game 3, Durant’s efficiency and Donovan Mitchell’s slashing proved too much, as the Bucks won 21-16 to advance.
Results: MIL wins 2-1 (21-15, 19-21, 21-16)
2 seed DET (Greg Oden and Kyrie Irving) vs. 3 seed CHI (Tony Parker and Luka Doncic
ChatGPT Sim and Description:
Tony Parker’s speed and Luka Doncic’s strength overwhelmed the Pistons early, securing a 21-14 win in Game 1. In Game 2, Greg Oden controlled the paint and Kyrie Irving delivered a dazzling 21-point solo effort to tie the series. Game 3 was a battle of pace, but Luka’s size advantage over Kyrie and Parker’s clutch mid-range shooting sealed a 21-18 win for the Bulls.
Results: CHI wins 2-1 (21-14, x-21, 21-18)
5 seed MIL (Kevin Durant and Donovan Mitchell) vs. 3 seed CHI (Tony Parker and Luka Doncic
Luka Doncic’s versatile scoring kept the Bulls close, but Kevin Durant’s shot-making was the difference in a 21-17 Bucks win in Game 1. Game 2 featured a heroic effort from Parker, who diced up the defense for 15 points, forcing a Game 3. The final game saw Durant take over once more, scoring 16 himself as the Bucks clinched the championship with a 21-18 victory.
Results: MIL wins 2-1 (21-17, x-21, 21-18)
Welp, once again Kevin Durant cements himself as the SLN GOAT, even in this silly minisim. Congrats to the Bucks!
I RFA'd Luka this offseason, my first RFA tag since I tagged Tony Parker. That made me wonder how those RFAs would stack up against other teams' RFA tags over the years. I thought it'd be fun to put together a fake 2v2 tournament, with each team comprising of the best two RFA tags that team has ever placed. Most teams had exactly 2 RFAs in their history, but 7 teams had only one RFA guy, and 8 teams had three RFA guys (the Nuggets and Heat had 0...for simplicity, they were left out of this tournament). The 8 leftover RFAs were:
Gilbert Arenas
MPJ
Turkey Glue
Kevin Love
Brandon Ingram
Shane Battier
Ricky Rubio
Zach Randolph
By random selection, I assigned one of those 8 to the 7 teams that needed an extra, and viola - a tournament field!
The next step was to seed the tournament, which I did by hand. For each player, I imagined them at the peak of their powers that we've seen so far - so looking at the entire body of work to date and picking the best version of each player. I seeded the teams 1-27, and created an initial tournament bracket:
Some notes:
- The tournament structure with 27 entrants means that there are 5 byes, which is perfect - I think the top 5 teams are on a separate tier from the rest of the tournament. I had these ranked as:
5. Bucks: KD and Donovan Mitchell
4. Raptors: Lou Williams and Aaron Gordon
3. Bulls: Tony Parker and Luka Doncic
2. Pistons: Greg Oden and Kyrie Irving
1. Hornets: Yao Ming and Jamal Murray
Now, let's go through each matchup and pick a winner! Each game will be played to 21, by 1s and 2s (so 3 point shooting is at a premium), no make it take it.
Round 1
16 seed MIN (KAT and Brandon Ingram) vs. 17 seed NJN (OKURRRR and Gilbert Arenas)
This is a close one right off the bat, but I think the size advantage that the Timberwolves have combined with their ability to match the Nets shot-for-shot from 3 gives them the edge.
Result: MIN 21 - NJN 16
8 seed LAC (Derrick Rose and Markelle Fultz) vs. 25 seed ATL (Amare Stoudemire and Russell Westbrook)
Amare may be able to overwhelm whoever guards him in the post, but do we really trust Russ to get him the ball consistently? And even if he does, Fultz and Rose could absolutely bury the Hawks with 3s and force Russ to try to shoot them back in the game. I think this one gets out of hand quickly.
Result: LAC 21 - ATL 9
9 seed UTA (Kenyon Martin and Marvin Williams) vs. 24 seed LAL (Bam Adebayo and Ricky Rubio
Despite being ranked 24th, this Lakers team is frisky - against a smaller team, Rubio and Bam could have had some upset potential. But I think Marvin is a matchup nightmare for this team, and probably coasts to an easy victory - even 5-6 Rubio steals wouldn't be enough to overcome the scoring barrage that's likely to come from Starvin' Marvin.
Result: UTA 21 - LAL 12
13 seed DAL (Pau Gasol and Hassan Whiteside) vs. 20 seed BOS (Paul George and Sasha Pavlovic)
Upset alert! Sasha is the clear weak link in this matchup, but against Pau and Hassan, I'm not sure he's at quite as much of a disadvantage. PG is clearly the best player in this game, and Boston is the only team likely to hit threes - combine that with the fact that Whiteside has never really shown an ability to hit jumpers and I think the Celtics pull this one out, on the heels of several threes.
Result: BOS 21 - DAL 18
12 seed NYK (Chris Bosh and Deron Williams) vs. 21 seed IND (Damontas Sabonis and Shane Battier)
Sabonis gets a tough draw picking up Battier in the expansion draft - though Battier brings some three point shooting, he's just not gonna be enough of a presence on offense to go shot for shot with DWill and Chris Bosh. Bosh should be able to slow down Sabonis enough to comfortably coast to a win - it won't be pure domination, but it also will never feel that close. Kinda like the intimacy in Joe's sex life.
Result: NYK 21 - IND 15
15 seed SEA (Brandon Roy and Jalen Brunson) vs. 18 seed PHX (Luol Deng and Rui Hachimura)
I may have been a bit unfavorable towards the Suns in the seeding process - looking at this matchup, as promising as Brunson looks, I think Rui is the best player in this game. I'm not sure how often Brandon Roy is going to be able to stop Rui, even at the peak of Roy's powers, and as the defensive lynchpin of several dominant Jazz teams, I think peak Lu will be able to hold his own against Brunson.
Result: PHX 21 - SEA 14
7 seed HOU (Jamal Crawford and Blake Griffin) vs 26 seed WAS (Chris Paul and Kevin Love)
Kind of a fascinating matchup IRL, but in SLN, the Rockets have the clear upper hand - Jamal and Blake both became the elite, efficient scorers that CP3 and Love never did, and while Love's three point shooting makes this matchup closer than the seeding may predict, this is still a comfortable win for the Rockets.
Result: HOU 21 - WAS 14
10 seed ORL (Al Jefferson and Devin Booker) vs. 23 seed SAC (Justise Winslow and Mark Madsen)
This one is no contest - the two the Kings trot out are certainly able to hold their own in a 5 on 5 game where they can play their role, but when the ball needs to be in one of their hands at all time, they'll shrivel up. This one's a blow out - Hefty and Booker are scoring on most possessions, and I'm not sure Winslow or Madsen will ever get an easy look.
Result: ORL 21 - SAC 5
14 seed SAS (Kawhi Leonard and Emeka Okafor) vs. 19 seed VAN (Jay Williams and Caron Butler)
This one is close - it's just a bit of a matchup nightmare on both sides. Either Spur will have a huge size and strength advantage on Jay Williams, and I'm not sure how many stops he'll get - but at the same time, Okafor is basically a 0 on offense, so Kawhi will have to carry most of the scoring load (which he's more than capable of doing). I think this one is a tossup, but at the end of the day, I think the Grizz have enough scoring power to combat Kawhi's abilities, and think they'll make life miserable for Okafor on defense.
Result: VAN 21 - SAS 19
6 seed PHI (LeBron James and Michael Porter Jr.) vs. 27 seed CLE (Josh Smith and Hedo Turkey Glue)
LeBron is probably the most overpowered player in the tournament - and if we run this tournament in a few seasons after MPJ's 100 potential kicks in, this could easily be the 1 seed in the tournament. For now, they'll have to settle for kicking the living shit out of Josh Smith and Turkey Glue, a team with solid SLN careers but with no chance of matching up against LeBron.
Result: PHI 21 - CLE 4
11 seed POR (Jameer Nelson and Lauri Markkanen) vs. 22 seed GSW (Monta Ellis and Joel Przybilla)
Jameer and Lauri are just an 11 seed, but their 3 point shooting ability makes them one of the scariest teams in the tournament. Monta is a great fit for this format, but I can only imagine his body language and decorum would deteriorate when he sees his playing partner is the Vanilla Gorilla. Przybilla isn't gonna add anything on offense, and he'll likely get torched by Lauri on the defensive end. Portland should cruise.
Result: POR 21 - GSW - 12
Bracket After Round 1
Round of 16
1 seed CHA (Yao Ming and Jamal Murray) vs. 16 seed MIN (Karl Anthony Towns and Brandon Ingram)
The Hornets are the preeminent favorite in this tournament - Yao was an unstoppable scorer at his peak and Murray does enough from the outside to help them keep pace with even the most gifted 2v2 lineups. KAT and Ingram are an interesting matchup, but unless KAT's zesty asks for foul calls are answered, this seems like too much to ask of them.
Result: CHA 21 - MIN 14
8 seed LAC (Derrick Rose and Markelle Fultz) vs. 9 seed UTA (Kenyon Martin and Marvin Williams)
I think this game is a complete toss up - the results mostly depends on Marvin's ability to outscore Fultz and Rose, since the Clippers duo should be able to get theirs. I think in this matchup KMart is able to get a couple blocked shots against Rose, and with the Clippers being a less than elite 3pt duo in this tournament, I give the Jazz the edge.
Result: UTA 21 - LAC 19
4 seed TOR (Lou Williams and Aaron Gordon) vs. 20 seed BOS (Paul George and Sasha Pavlovic)
The cinderella story ends here for Boston, as there is simply nowhere for Pavlovic to hide in this matchup. PG will put up a fight, but Sasha will just get played off the court by Sweet Lou and Gordon.
Result: TOR 21 - BOS 8
5 seed MIL (Kevin Durant and Donovan Mitchell) vs. 12 seed NYK (Chris Bosh and Deron Williams)
Tough draw for DWill and Bosh to go up against the likely SLN Goat in KD and a competent scorer in Donovan Mitchell. I think Durant does a much better job on Bosh than vice versa, and Mitchell and Williams are kind of a wash - I expect a comfortable win for the Bucks here.
Result: MIL 21 - NYK 14
2 seed DET (Greg Oden and Kyrie Irving) vs. 18 seed PHX (Luol Deng and Rui Hachimura)
Lu and Rui were a fun story from the first round, but they run into an absolute buzzsaw tandem in Oden and Kyrie. Provided Kyrie isn't on a walkabout for this game, he should torch Lu on offense, and I expect Oden to neutralize Rui's scoring ability. Easy win for the Pistons.
Result: DET 21 - PHX 12
7 seed HOU (Jamal Crawford and Blake Griffin) vs. 10 seed ORL (Al Jefferson and Devin Booker)
Extremely even matchup between two scoring bigs and two high-volume guards, each of whom own a 3 point shootout title. This one is a complete coin flip to me, but in the absence of strong evidence either way, I'm tempted to go with the Magic - Al Jefferson was more dominant at his peak than Blake ever was, and I think he and Booker pull off the upset in exciting fashion.
Result: ORL 21 - HOU 19)
3 seed CHI (Tony Parker and Luka Doncic) vs. 19 seed VAN (Jay Williams and Caron Butler)
After an emotional win in R1, the Grizzlies will have a tough task ahead of them in R2 against TP and Luka. The Bulls deficiency in this tournament is size, but they shouldn't have to worry about that in this matchup. The Grizz should go down without much of a fight in this one.
Result: CHI 21 - VAN 10
6 seed PHI (LeBron James and Michael Porter Jr) vs. 11 seed POR (Jameer Nelson and Lauri Markkanen)
LeBron should be able to score inside on Lauri basically whenever he has the chance. But are we sure that'll be enough to win this matchup? If I'm Lauri and Jameer, I'm shooting basically all 3s, and I'm daring MPJ to shoot as much as I can. Even if LeBron shoots 100% from the field, there's a path for the Blazers to pull off the upset with a good three point shooting day and a lot of MPJ shots / TOs.
Result: POR 21 - PHI 17
Bracket After Round of 16
Quarterfinals
1 seed CHA (Yao Ming and Jamal Murray) vs. 9 seed UTA (Kenyon Martin and Marvin Williams)
After eking out a win in Round 2, I can only imagine Marvin Williams' dismay when he realizes the opponents he's set to face in the quarterfinals. KMart has two all defensive first teams to his name to go along with a DPOY in 2007, but even he likely won't be able to slow down Chairman Yao (Googling Yao's nicknames was a very fruitful search - honorable mention was Shaquie Chan). Too much firepower for the Jazz to overcome.
Result: CHA 21 - UTA 15
4 seed TOR (Lou Williams and Aaron Gordon) vs. 5 seed MIL (Kevin Durant and Donovan Mitchell)
Extremely tight matchup, and had KD shown any sign of faltering in big moments in SLN, I might have sided with the Fighting Wembys, but alas, Durant has absolutely ravaged the East and I am personally snakebitten. I think KD demands the ball and pulls this one out, even though on paper, the matchup is probably more appealing to the Raptors with the Lou Williams / Donovan Mitchell matchup favoring Toronto.
Result: MIL 21 - TOR 17
2 seed DET (Greg Oden and Kyrie Irving) vs. 10 seed ORL (Al Jefferson and Devin Booker)
The Magic have had a nice run through this tournament, but it ends here in the quarterfinals. Oden is the perfect candidate to neutralize Al Jefferson's scoring ability, and Kyrie should cook against Devin Booker. Kyrie, Greggie, easy, Pistons in 5
Result: DET 21 - ORL 14
3 seed CHI (Tony Parker and Luka Doncic) against 11 seed POR (Jameer Nelson and Lauri Markkanen)
I think it's fair to expect an emotional letdown from Portland after taking down the King in Round 2. TP probably edges Jameer out, but not by much - but I find it hard to believe that Lauri is ever going to stop Luka. Luka and Parker should get what they want on offense, and get enough stops on defense to bring home a comfortable W.
Result: CHI 21 - POR 16
Bracket after Quarterfinals
Semifinals
For the Semifinals and Finals, I'm gonna let ChatGPT decide the winners. I'll plug in scouting reports for each player remaining and ask it to sim a best of 3 series with the given rules. Here are the descriptions:
Yao Ming
Yao is one of the best scoring bigs we've ever seen. In his best season, he averaged 27.1 ppg on 50.8% shooting from the floor, while making 93.1% of his free throws (he took over 8 per game). He was an elite rebounder, notching over 13 per game that season, and contributed on defense with .9 steals and 2.4 blocks per game, to go along with 1.9 turnovers - a manageable amount considering his usage. He won two titles with the Charlotte Hornets.
Jamal Murray
Jamal Murray is an elite perimeter scorer with excellent range. In his best season, he averaged 31.3 ppg on 49% shooting, along with almost three 3-pointers per game at a 43% clip. Defensively, he steals the ball at a high rate (2.3 times per game) and even chips in with .3 blocks per game. He does turn the ball over a fair amount, at 2.9 times per game.
Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant is arguably the greatest player in our league's history. Currently defending a 3peat, his best season saw him average 38 ppg on an absurd 52.8% shooting, making over 2.5 threes per game at a 42.8% clip. He's a plus rebounder and defender too - he averaged 8.4 rebounds, 1.9 steals, and 1.1 blocks per game - along with just 1.8 turnovers, a preposterous number considering the amount of time the ball is in his hands.
Donovan Mitchell
Donovan Mitchell is a great scorer inside and out, averaging 30.2 ppg on 47% shooting from the floor and adding 2.6 threes per game at 42.4%. He steals the ball effectively, at 2 times per game, which is necessary to combat his turnovers (2.6 per game). His positional defense is pretty good, but his rebounding is just average.
Greg Oden
Greg Oden is the defensive foil of Yao Ming. He's one of the best pure defensive / rebounding bigs our league has seen, averaging 14.6 rebounds, 1.2 steals, and 3.6 blocks per game to go along with just 1.7 turnovers. On offense, he scores with volume, and at his peak did have decent efficiency, shooting 46.2% from the floor and shooting 7.6 free throws per game at a respectable 76%.
Kyrie Irving
A mercurial superstar, when Kyrie is on the court, he's unstoppable. In his best season, he led a championship run by averaging 34.5ppg, shooting over 50% from the floor and almost 45% from three (at high volume - making 3.3 per game), and by being a staunch defender and taking care of the ball. He averaged 2.3 steals and added 0.4 blocks, but only turned it over 1.7 times per game.
Tony Parker
Tony Parker held the mantle as the league's best point guard, and passed the torch to Kyrie, retiring right as Kyrie came into the league. Parker was a high-volume scorer, averaging 34.9 ppg on 50.6% shooting, and got to the line over 6 times per game while making 94% of his free throws. He was serviceable on defense, stealing the ball twice a game and adding .2 blocks, and only turned it over 1.6 times per game.
Luka Doncic
Luka is a matchup nightmare given his outside scoring prowess and strength inside. He scored 30.1ppg on 48.1% shooting while making almost three 3-pointers per game at 43%. He's an exceptional rebounder, bringing down 8.5 per game, and a good defender (1.8 steals) - his only deficiency is his turnovers (2.6 per game).
Let's get to the results! Remember, we're now best-of-3 for the rest of the tournament.
1 seed CHA (Yao Ming and Jamal Murray) vs. 5 seed MIL (Kevin Durant and Donovan Mitchell)
ChatGPT Sim and Description:
Game 1 saw Kevin Durant dominate with his shot-making, dropping 18 points as the Bucks cruised to a 21-15 win, despite Yao Ming’s presence inside. In Game 2, Jamal Murray caught fire, hitting four deep twos en route to a 21-19 Hornets victory. In the deciding Game 3, Durant’s efficiency and Donovan Mitchell’s slashing proved too much, as the Bucks won 21-16 to advance.
Results: MIL wins 2-1 (21-15, 19-21, 21-16)
2 seed DET (Greg Oden and Kyrie Irving) vs. 3 seed CHI (Tony Parker and Luka Doncic
ChatGPT Sim and Description:
Tony Parker’s speed and Luka Doncic’s strength overwhelmed the Pistons early, securing a 21-14 win in Game 1. In Game 2, Greg Oden controlled the paint and Kyrie Irving delivered a dazzling 21-point solo effort to tie the series. Game 3 was a battle of pace, but Luka’s size advantage over Kyrie and Parker’s clutch mid-range shooting sealed a 21-18 win for the Bulls.
Results: CHI wins 2-1 (21-14, x-21, 21-18)
Finals
5 seed MIL (Kevin Durant and Donovan Mitchell) vs. 3 seed CHI (Tony Parker and Luka Doncic
Luka Doncic’s versatile scoring kept the Bulls close, but Kevin Durant’s shot-making was the difference in a 21-17 Bucks win in Game 1. Game 2 featured a heroic effort from Parker, who diced up the defense for 15 points, forcing a Game 3. The final game saw Durant take over once more, scoring 16 himself as the Bucks clinched the championship with a 21-18 victory.
Results: MIL wins 2-1 (21-17, x-21, 21-18)
Welp, once again Kevin Durant cements himself as the SLN GOAT, even in this silly minisim. Congrats to the Bucks!
Last edited by Matt on March 12th, 2025, 10:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
rose and fultz would absolutely smoke us. any board russ and amare grab gets stolen, dished out to the 3-point line, and then buried. agreed, this matchup gets out of hand fast
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
RIP Turkey Glue
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
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