Mervalytics 2013 (h/t Nick)
Mervalytics 2013 (h/t Nick)
Here we are with another edition of....MERVALYTICS (yayyyyyyyy *cue music theme*). This version will be even quippier so we can get some of that extra sweet sweet RP because Mahcus and Orange Julius need some camps!
Free Throw Rate
Look out league! We got a new leader atop the free throw rate leaderboard! Jeremy Evans...come on down!!! Also of note, the French Baguette...the Stifle Tower, Rudy Gobert coming in at 3rd. Rudy Gobert is tough now? Very unFrench of him if you ask me. Al Hefty has slow slid down these rankings since his departure from the City Beautiful unfortunately. As always, the Rockets decorate the top of the SLN FTr leaderboards with their aggressive, attacking assault. *alliteration!*. Special shout outs to Al-Farouq Aminu aka Chief, and Shaun Livingston for making the top 50 as perimeter players.
For perimeter players only, Aminu, Livingston, and Yi Jianlian are the only perimeter players to get to the line on 40% of their shots. Shawn Marion coming in at #6 at his esteemed age. He's available for free guys, please come and get the Matrix as if it's 1999. Derrick Williams is a fun young player at 9 who clearly drove some nice value for the Mavericks by jumping into opponents. Shabazz Muhammad playing as a primary option for the desolate Suns comes in at 10th. That's a fun one for Tyler who could develop into a nice piece. Shabazz will be cutting to the rims for lobs as some fat Serb throws it over his head while his back is turned. I think Jwoo filmed an interview by DP of Shabazz saying he likes cheeseburgers once, and fortunately for him, so does Jokic. BFFs I can already tell.
3-Point Attempt Rate
Shane Battier and DJ Augustin leading the way here. Can someone free DJ Augustin? He's a former Texas Longhorn, Ashes definitely made him decent. Ben Gordon proved to be a nice piece for the Blazers as he launched 3 after 3. Lou Williams and DWade are basically cheat codes with their shooting frequency and proficiency. I think JWoo has been in a constant state of smiling since acquiring Lou Williams. Rumor has it, he shaved his mustache for the press conference announcing Lou's return.
Total Rebound Percentage
Hassan Whiteside ascends to the mountaintop. The great rebounder from the state of Texas!!! Dalembert continues to prove a cost effective big butt as he's one of two guys in the top 10 making less than $10M. Ian Mahinmi looks like a helluva rebounder and might get paid this offseason. Boban actually is a good rebounder and crazy efficient? Maybe Jesse isn't a complete snake oil salesman with him? Dwight shows a little bit of decline as a rebounder but that could've been influenced by the invasion of the Blazer front court by YI JIANLIAN! Eddie Griffin looks like he'll be worth every penny with his spot here and at on the forthcoming BLK% leaderboard.
TRB% for perimeter players. Look at that, Shawn Marion is #1. Is it 1999?! The Matrix atop the charts once again. Some should pick up the phone and get this guy out of Orlando! The Moon man has proven himself to be offensively inept Paul Pierce. Maybe it's because he's too busy stealing from his team instead of actually working out on the court. Yi Jianlian is a top tier SF at rebounding, just like his buddy Ersan Ilyasova. The two will never escape each other and I've been told they often get dinner together the night before games. KG and Kris Clack, still not all the way dead.
Block Percentage
GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE!!! Hassan Whiteside tops another list! I'm beginning to think Hassan is worth a max, but if you want a trick on how to offer something that'll make Hoff sick slide into my DMs. Al Hefty and Elton Brand have continued to be freakish shot blockers. Which is still so weird to me. Elton randomly had the jump and Al was a not stocky scoring 4 man in Orlando. Larry Sanders and Hasheem Thabeet emerge at 26 and 27. Something tells me they'll be the new flavor of the month big men that end up on a new contender every season.
Turnover Percentage
Boy, OO and Cole Aldrich LOVE handing the ball to the other team. Fortunately for the Orlando Tank, Jose Calderon comes in at an astonishing 5th place with a 17.6% TOV%. There was one point in the year, he was around 5 TOV per 36. Bazemore is troublingly sloppy with the ball. Damian Lillard is going to have to come down this list in the future for him to truly ascend.
These guys never turn it over. It's hard for these top 4 to turn it over because if they touch it, they shoot it. You don't want to play pick up with these guys because they're not passing. Speaking of pickup, I think we need a SLN GMs as SLN Players comps for how they play. We got Tuesday night run highlights once, now I need some comps! Tangent over, can we talk about how Kyrie went from not top 50 last year to 2 this year? I think that was a major part of the huge jump Team Flat Earth took in Detroit this year. On the other side, I think Devin Harris has slowly crept down this list which isn't great for him.
Stock to Turnover Ratio
Oh Blessed Borschtfart, your 7 to 1 stock:to ratio will likely never be matched. Now Chris Mihm leads the list because Jesse wouldn't play old Curt enough. 500 minutes required here pal, get your shit together. Get it. Together. Larry Sanders pops up at 19, I think Clint is on to something, this guy might be fun and good. Glad he didn't trade him for peanuts to some team in a place where they hate tea and dump it in harbors. Julian Wright leads the way for perimeter players and is on the free agent market. No clue how I'd value him, but I've been told his agent thinks the bag is coming.
Usage Percentage
King James is the King of Philly. He uses a gargantuan amount of possessions just as he should. Will he ever win a title? Who knows, but the possession title is HIS! Lou Williams demanded a trade after seeing Kyrie take over the USG crown in Detroit and I can't wait to watch PG Lou in Toronto...you better do it Woo! CJ Miles had a really fun USG% in Portland coming off the bench as a 6MOTY candidate. Anthony Morrow looks like the highest non-important player on this board but it's some encouraging volume and maybe he'd be a nice 6th man for a competitor.
Le Merv
Last but never least, the bang for your buck ratio. These guys basically never come available and if they do, you should snag them. USG% x TS% so who shoots a lot and makes a lot. 2 Pistons in the top 10, so you can see how that run was possible. Anthony Morrow checks in as the highest ranked who the F is that guy and why is he so high. Slightly below him, Jimmer Fredette. Matt super camped him and the guy does get buckets. They're probably some of the more attainable guys on this list. The highest 5 man in Merv is Eddy Curry which generally checks out. Honestly, Blake Griffin keeps popping up on these lists and I think was an incredible move by Nolan in hindsight.
Free Throw Rate
Look out league! We got a new leader atop the free throw rate leaderboard! Jeremy Evans...come on down!!! Also of note, the French Baguette...the Stifle Tower, Rudy Gobert coming in at 3rd. Rudy Gobert is tough now? Very unFrench of him if you ask me. Al Hefty has slow slid down these rankings since his departure from the City Beautiful unfortunately. As always, the Rockets decorate the top of the SLN FTr leaderboards with their aggressive, attacking assault. *alliteration!*. Special shout outs to Al-Farouq Aminu aka Chief, and Shaun Livingston for making the top 50 as perimeter players.
For perimeter players only, Aminu, Livingston, and Yi Jianlian are the only perimeter players to get to the line on 40% of their shots. Shawn Marion coming in at #6 at his esteemed age. He's available for free guys, please come and get the Matrix as if it's 1999. Derrick Williams is a fun young player at 9 who clearly drove some nice value for the Mavericks by jumping into opponents. Shabazz Muhammad playing as a primary option for the desolate Suns comes in at 10th. That's a fun one for Tyler who could develop into a nice piece. Shabazz will be cutting to the rims for lobs as some fat Serb throws it over his head while his back is turned. I think Jwoo filmed an interview by DP of Shabazz saying he likes cheeseburgers once, and fortunately for him, so does Jokic. BFFs I can already tell.
3-Point Attempt Rate
Shane Battier and DJ Augustin leading the way here. Can someone free DJ Augustin? He's a former Texas Longhorn, Ashes definitely made him decent. Ben Gordon proved to be a nice piece for the Blazers as he launched 3 after 3. Lou Williams and DWade are basically cheat codes with their shooting frequency and proficiency. I think JWoo has been in a constant state of smiling since acquiring Lou Williams. Rumor has it, he shaved his mustache for the press conference announcing Lou's return.
Total Rebound Percentage
Hassan Whiteside ascends to the mountaintop. The great rebounder from the state of Texas!!! Dalembert continues to prove a cost effective big butt as he's one of two guys in the top 10 making less than $10M. Ian Mahinmi looks like a helluva rebounder and might get paid this offseason. Boban actually is a good rebounder and crazy efficient? Maybe Jesse isn't a complete snake oil salesman with him? Dwight shows a little bit of decline as a rebounder but that could've been influenced by the invasion of the Blazer front court by YI JIANLIAN! Eddie Griffin looks like he'll be worth every penny with his spot here and at on the forthcoming BLK% leaderboard.
TRB% for perimeter players. Look at that, Shawn Marion is #1. Is it 1999?! The Matrix atop the charts once again. Some should pick up the phone and get this guy out of Orlando! The Moon man has proven himself to be offensively inept Paul Pierce. Maybe it's because he's too busy stealing from his team instead of actually working out on the court. Yi Jianlian is a top tier SF at rebounding, just like his buddy Ersan Ilyasova. The two will never escape each other and I've been told they often get dinner together the night before games. KG and Kris Clack, still not all the way dead.
Block Percentage
GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE!!! Hassan Whiteside tops another list! I'm beginning to think Hassan is worth a max, but if you want a trick on how to offer something that'll make Hoff sick slide into my DMs. Al Hefty and Elton Brand have continued to be freakish shot blockers. Which is still so weird to me. Elton randomly had the jump and Al was a not stocky scoring 4 man in Orlando. Larry Sanders and Hasheem Thabeet emerge at 26 and 27. Something tells me they'll be the new flavor of the month big men that end up on a new contender every season.
Turnover Percentage
Boy, OO and Cole Aldrich LOVE handing the ball to the other team. Fortunately for the Orlando Tank, Jose Calderon comes in at an astonishing 5th place with a 17.6% TOV%. There was one point in the year, he was around 5 TOV per 36. Bazemore is troublingly sloppy with the ball. Damian Lillard is going to have to come down this list in the future for him to truly ascend.
These guys never turn it over. It's hard for these top 4 to turn it over because if they touch it, they shoot it. You don't want to play pick up with these guys because they're not passing. Speaking of pickup, I think we need a SLN GMs as SLN Players comps for how they play. We got Tuesday night run highlights once, now I need some comps! Tangent over, can we talk about how Kyrie went from not top 50 last year to 2 this year? I think that was a major part of the huge jump Team Flat Earth took in Detroit this year. On the other side, I think Devin Harris has slowly crept down this list which isn't great for him.
Stock to Turnover Ratio
Oh Blessed Borschtfart, your 7 to 1 stock:to ratio will likely never be matched. Now Chris Mihm leads the list because Jesse wouldn't play old Curt enough. 500 minutes required here pal, get your shit together. Get it. Together. Larry Sanders pops up at 19, I think Clint is on to something, this guy might be fun and good. Glad he didn't trade him for peanuts to some team in a place where they hate tea and dump it in harbors. Julian Wright leads the way for perimeter players and is on the free agent market. No clue how I'd value him, but I've been told his agent thinks the bag is coming.
Usage Percentage
King James is the King of Philly. He uses a gargantuan amount of possessions just as he should. Will he ever win a title? Who knows, but the possession title is HIS! Lou Williams demanded a trade after seeing Kyrie take over the USG crown in Detroit and I can't wait to watch PG Lou in Toronto...you better do it Woo! CJ Miles had a really fun USG% in Portland coming off the bench as a 6MOTY candidate. Anthony Morrow looks like the highest non-important player on this board but it's some encouraging volume and maybe he'd be a nice 6th man for a competitor.
Le Merv
Last but never least, the bang for your buck ratio. These guys basically never come available and if they do, you should snag them. USG% x TS% so who shoots a lot and makes a lot. 2 Pistons in the top 10, so you can see how that run was possible. Anthony Morrow checks in as the highest ranked who the F is that guy and why is he so high. Slightly below him, Jimmer Fredette. Matt super camped him and the guy does get buckets. They're probably some of the more attainable guys on this list. The highest 5 man in Merv is Eddy Curry which generally checks out. Honestly, Blake Griffin keeps popping up on these lists and I think was an incredible move by Nolan in hindsight.
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