SLN GMs as...Marvel Cinematic Universe characters

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jwoo
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SLN GMs as...Marvel Cinematic Universe characters

Post by jwoo »

The popular "SLN GMs as ____" series returns. I got really bored today and needed a break so I decided to write this, which is an idea that has been marinating for a while. Enjoy!

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Ashes - The Watcher

Quietly, the Watcher sits and observes from afar, only involving himself when the universe depends on it. Does he have a soft spot for humanity? Is he occasionally willing to intervene when the universe is low on RP or needs a frenzy? Sure. The Sim God possesses vast power, and even steelier judgment.

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Jesse - Nick Fury

Known for getting the band back together, operating in the shadows, and convincing people to do things they don’t really want to do, Nick Fury’s wisdom, cunning and expertise dates back further than just about anybody. Is he a little too concerned about ratings inflation? Is there a skrull outbreak occurring that nobody else can see but him? How did he lose that eye? Fury never reveals the whole story.

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Jordo - Captain America

Beloved by all and willing to stand up for what he believes in, even if his best player is French, Cap may not be the most overpowered hero, but he commands respect. He knows how to battle through adversity and will always fall on the grenade for his team, sometimes leveraging himself a little too far in the best interest of winning. I hear he's also quite a hot ticket on the dating apps, as the possessor of America’s Ass.

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Nick - Bruce Banner/Hulk

Is he one of the smartest men on the planet? Is he occasionally misunderstood and difficult to wrangle? Are all the other Avengers secretly afraid of him kicking their ass in seven games? Does he love smashing Walls so much that he even gave one a seven year max contract? Does he enjoy going to distant planets and fighting wars? That’s Bruce Banner, one of the most formidable beings on the planet. You may not like him when he’s angry, but he’s a pretty important character, and he’s green, kind of like Seattle.

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Joe - Tony Stark/Iron Man

Rich, historically successful, full of incendiary takes, based in New York, and constantly tinkering to upgrade his weaponry…it’s always Tony Stark’s year. However, he’s been losing sleep lately ever since his one brutal mistake cost the universe half its population and led to five years of pain: drafting Brandon Knight instead of literally anyone else.

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DMo - Thor

A lover of partying, karaoke and friendship, Thor has gone through several interesting character arcs, lost many of those close to him (Shaun Livingston, Dwight Howard) but always seems to be in the fight in the end. Everyone wants his weapon, but few can wield it (except maybe Natalie Portman late in its career): Whosoever holds LeHammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.

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Quady - Hawkeye

A valued member of the team and an expert from long range (some say he gets +8 to his shooting every off-season), Hawkeye always seems to have a say in the proceedings. Valued for his general wisdom and patience, Hawkeye’s superpowers are pretty much consistency and being a homie. His bow and arrow may not be the flashiest (when you think about it, it’s kind of depressing they’ve spent their entire careers with just one franchise), but Clint Barton’s aim is true.

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Mantypas - Black Widow

Originally hailing from a European country, going by many names and faces (Mantypas? Antypas? Mike?), and well-liked by everyone on the team, Black Widow has played a large role in many of the Avengers’ most important moments. She’s endured much tragedy. She holds her own in negotiations with the most dangerous people in the world. It’s taken her a while to get her own solo film, but it’s coming. Also, it’s a little confusing that the writers decided to give her a somewhat unnecessary relationship with the Hulk (one time she traded him Paul Pierce, and things were always a little awkward the next morning).

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Kipke - Loki

Originally hailing from the icy mountain depths of Colorado, one must always be wary when dealing with the god of mischief. Despite his occasionally grey code of ethics in the interest of his own success, everyone agrees Loki is a pretty good guy anyway. He’s had a fascinating character arc, gone in and out of long stages of tanking, but always seems to bounce back and come out on top. He’s still looking for that elusive time on throne — the Finals — but it’s well within his careful grasp.

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Pankin - Vision

His programming originated as part of Tony Stark’s AI. His intelligence grew to the point where he’s developed his own body, one that gains +8 strength every year. Vision’s power has grown to the point where he can now challenge pretty much any Avenger in direct combat. He also won the figurative lottery many times, pulling Scarlet Witch despite not being a human being or having reproductive parts. After a few movies, he's finally coming into his own as a full-fledged character.

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RB - Scarlet Witch

Does her chaos magic make her the most power being in the universe? Is that power prone to wild mood swings, random disappearances, fickle, dangerous outbursts, and averaging 40+PPG when available? Will it play in the pre-season? Does it demand the return of her son, JR Smith, or else? Is everyone super afraid of her, secretly? Has she leveraged herself so much that she’s concerned for her imaginary children? Despite her relative newness as a main character, Wanda is central to the plot.

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Weilheimer - Ant-Man

Beloved for his humor, bravery, and his ability to multiply his own size exponentially — increase the BEEF, one might say — Ant-Man/Scott Lang plays a key role on the Avengers team. His pet ants Russell Westbrook, Jonas Valanciunas and Robert Horry make him formidable. He’s very handsome and never seems to age. Welcome to AntLanta.

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GX - War Machine/James Rhodes

Sure, he’s been recast a couple times, replaced by a skrull, yada yada, but James Rhodes aka War Machine, in the comics is a notable member of the West Coast Avengers. He’s still assembling his machinery, and nobody is sure when he’ll get his own solo movie, but this version of Rhodey is here to stay.

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Clint - Winter Soldier

Longing. Rusted. Rock. Furnace. Tobias. Daybreak. Paper. Norvel. Scissors. Homecoming. Bjelica. Freight Car. You may never know which version of Bucky Barnes aka the Clinter Soldier you’re dealing with, but it’s always memorable. His personality and mood for doing business might depend on what day it is. He sometimes pivots from competing back into the (cryogenic storage) tank. But the whole world is rooting for him to overcome his dark past and step into the light.

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Josh - Black Panther

The super-intelligent leader of a mysterious country (WaCanada), T’Challa aka the Black Panther relies on his strength and advanced technology (compiling team stats) as a quiet but very formidable world power. He's concerned first and foremost with the safety of his people and has enjoyed great success as a result. And legend has it that Dwyane Wade’s ancient herb has been passed down to a new, rising star, T’Erry.

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Tonger - Peter Parker/Spiderman

Kind of a late addition to the team, but Peter Parker aka Spider-Man immediately became one of its smartest, most scientific members. He’s no slouch on the field of battle either, with his secret formula — Jonas JerWebKo — capable of slowing down the strongest opponents. He also lives in New York, where he is known to go undercover at a dance party or two. With great power comes great responsibility (never to overpay for anything).

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JWoo - Dr Strange

Nobody seems to be sure how he does what he does, why he does what he’s doing, or why his facial hair is often questionable. Since losing the use of his hands (Terrell Brandon and Kevin Garnett) he’s never really been the same guy. Not everyone agrees with his ideas. What is he doing with all that RP lying around? But rest assured, nobody is going through more NDL box scores and thinking through more completely unnecessary future scenarios than Dr. Strange, who can kind of be an asshole sometimes but really just wants to make the world a better place. He also really would like to reunite with his long lost love, Rachel McAntonioDaniels.

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Steven - Deadpool

Known for breaking the fourth wall, saying incredibly silly things, and occasionally fighting gruesome battles, Deadpool is the self-aware quasi-narrator of the Marvel Universe. He doesn’t take things that seriously, even when he’s chopping your hands off while you are confused about what DC he’s running. He also seems to be in for a massive peak in popularity with his next movie this summer.

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Merv - Professor X

Who has the most beautiful bald head you’ve ever seen and the brainpower to match? That’s Charles (Chad) Xavier, who was a late introduction into the MCU but has become a trusted resource and advisor for many heroes, while also running a successful team of his own. Professor X leads his team of misunderstood and controversial young X-Men on a crusade against intolerance, evil, and of course, artificial intelligence.

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Derek - Magneto

He’s very smart and powerful. He’s frenemies with Professor X. He and Wolverine have had many epic duels. He’s the master of magnetism, which is what every 300-pound man in Milwaukee calls himself after a dozen PBRs. Magneto can sometimes be kind of a hater, but there’s no arguing with his power and the lengths he will go to in order to get what he wants.

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Matt - Cyclops

The very tall leader of the X-Men, known for his laser focus and commitment to the team, Cyclops often gets misunderstood but is actually a good guy whose heart is in the right place. He can also shoot lasers from his eyes, making him one of the most powerful heroes. I heard he also once ate 100 BK chicken fries in one sitting. He also hates Wolverine.

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Ralph - Wolverine

He loves to drink, he loves to stab things, he loves hand to hand combat, and he hails from a cold, forested place much like Utah (Canada). Beneath his gruff exterior is a loyal ally, valuable to many as a resource and trusted ear. Wolverine has been around winning battles since the beginning of modern history, having fought in a number of wars, since, you know, he can’t really die. He also hates Cyclops.

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Nav - Jean Grey/Phoenix

A child prodigy reared in the beautiful state of New Jersey — and one of the original X-Men — Jean Grey wields the most powerful mind in the Marvel universe. Sometimes she goes nuclear, channeling the Phoenix force to defeat all opponents. However, after using it, it can takes a while for her to rediscover herself, leading to 365-plus day injuries and/or months of rebuilding like no other. Rest assured, the Phoenix will be back, and it will be terrifying.

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Nolan - Juggernaut

Known for smashing people to death, being an unstoppable force, and using size to his advantage, nobody runs inside like the Juggernaut.

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Bobby - Johnny Storm/Human Torch

Brash, sometimes emotional, and extremely handsome (so I've heard), the Torch has great power when he's focused. A valued member of the Fantastic Four, nobody is more Hollywood than Johnny Storm. He's also quite loyal to his family (DeMar, Boogie and D-Rose), even in the toughest times.

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Scoops - Silver Surfer

The Herald of GaShaqtus himself, the Surfer shows up to warn planets that they must touch grass, before they get consumed by the all-powerful. Scoops is methodical and a straight negotiator. Um, there's also surfing in Miami.

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Hoff - Peter Quill/Star Lord

Known for his brash decision-making, Star Lord leads his team with a lot of heart. It doesn’t always go well for him, but he’s a fan favorite anyway. Will he trust his instincts and exercise patience? Will he let go of his many picks and discover himself? Will Gamora realize she loves him? Who is the Jrue Star Lord deep down?

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Tyler - Rocket Raccoon

This occasionally misanthropic weapons specialist is known for bringing out big guns to the fight. He might be small, but don’t fuck with him — he's widely respected and is due for a heartwarming solo arc of his own. How does this guy keep going back and finding bigger guns?

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Weston - The Collector

He’s mysterious, he’s powerful, and once he has what he wants, you’re probably not getting it without paying a fortune. The specimens in his lair include Ray Allen, Tim Duncan and Chris Paul. His stuff can be had...for a price.

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Jburns - Groot

He doesn’t say much. He’s built his reputation on the backs of the two 7-foot tree trunks he calls legs. He goes through cycles of activity and rebirth. He is Groot.
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Josh
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Post by Josh »

Hahahahahahaha
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Josh
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Post by Josh »

Cyclops Wolverine, laughing out loud to myself
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The Transfer Portal
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Post by The Transfer Portal »

THIS HITS
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Hoff
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Post by Hoff »

Guardians is my favorite movie
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Jordo
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Post by Jordo »

Gonna need the story behind Matt eating 100 BK chicken fries
Yee-to-the-Haw
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heimer
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Post by heimer »

Old Bones Antlanta Jones
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
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Post by Merv »

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Post by nolan »

incredible
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Post by nolan »

Clint kinda look like Sebastian Stan too

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