Dingle McCringle Live Report - 1 "cult activity" (Author - Heimer)
Dingle McCringle Live Report - 1 "cult activity" (Author - Heimer)
AAB Reporter Dingle McCringle has just called in to give us a live report. Dingle….
“Thanks Cleetus Feetus, I’m here inside the new Atlanta Hawks stadium but outside the locker room. They had just kicked me out for an impromptu meeting while I was in there interviewing the players – which is my duty as a reporter. I was furious Cleetus! I grabbed the nearest thing I could find to chuck at the wall – a medium sized glass cup. But Cleetus, right when I grabbed that medium sized glass cup, I had an epiphany. I thought ‘this medium sized glass cup is shaped like a cone.’ I then press this medium sized glass cup up against the wall and start hearing chanting from inside the Atlanta Hawks locker room through this medium sized glass cup. My initial thought was they had booted up a new Skyrim campaign and had the volume too loud. But the more I listened the more I knew this was a worship to their own Chosen One. I was able to manage a recording. Cleetus Feetus it’s showtime:
TEAM! Face the Altar! Hail to the Great Mo Taylor! Hail to the Great Mo Taylor! Maurice! Maurice! Maurice! I greet you this day in honor, strength and joy! Cleanse my body, my mind, my spirit that I may bring honor and glory to my team, to the Atlanta Hawks, and to myself as I perform my duties to the best of my ability. I do this knowing that my honor and glory is less powerful than yours – oh Great Mo Taylor. Last, I ask for your help and protection and blessed be – by all that is sacred within me, hear my call for help and protection. Maurice! Maurice! Maurice! AMEN! ……. *a distant scream* “allahu akbar”
age/min/ppg/ rpg/apg/spg/bpg/tpg/fg%/ft%/3p%
Maurice Taylor PF 28 36.6 32.9 10.8 2.5 0.9 0.4 2.3 .487 .739 .000
“Thanks Cleetus Feetus, I’m here inside the new Atlanta Hawks stadium but outside the locker room. They had just kicked me out for an impromptu meeting while I was in there interviewing the players – which is my duty as a reporter. I was furious Cleetus! I grabbed the nearest thing I could find to chuck at the wall – a medium sized glass cup. But Cleetus, right when I grabbed that medium sized glass cup, I had an epiphany. I thought ‘this medium sized glass cup is shaped like a cone.’ I then press this medium sized glass cup up against the wall and start hearing chanting from inside the Atlanta Hawks locker room through this medium sized glass cup. My initial thought was they had booted up a new Skyrim campaign and had the volume too loud. But the more I listened the more I knew this was a worship to their own Chosen One. I was able to manage a recording. Cleetus Feetus it’s showtime:
TEAM! Face the Altar! Hail to the Great Mo Taylor! Hail to the Great Mo Taylor! Maurice! Maurice! Maurice! I greet you this day in honor, strength and joy! Cleanse my body, my mind, my spirit that I may bring honor and glory to my team, to the Atlanta Hawks, and to myself as I perform my duties to the best of my ability. I do this knowing that my honor and glory is less powerful than yours – oh Great Mo Taylor. Last, I ask for your help and protection and blessed be – by all that is sacred within me, hear my call for help and protection. Maurice! Maurice! Maurice! AMEN! ……. *a distant scream* “allahu akbar”
age/min/ppg/ rpg/apg/spg/bpg/tpg/fg%/ft%/3p%
Maurice Taylor PF 28 36.6 32.9 10.8 2.5 0.9 0.4 2.3 .487 .739 .000
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
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