A Long Time Ago In A Sim Far, Far Away...
A Long Time Ago In A Sim Far, Far Away...
These Are Not The Sims You're Looking For!
Team Jedi
Strengths: Elite vision sees plays before they happen, he does. Takes good care of the ball, steal from him, you cannot. Inside and outside scoring, a solid mix he has.
Weaknesses: Size, a limitation it can be. Bulk up, he must
Scout’s Take: Championship aspirations, he fulfills. Draft him, a franchise changer you will select.
Ratings: PG: B+ A A A- C D
Stipulation: Start him at PG until he retires, you must.
Strengths: Absorbs contact well, finishes at the rim. Strong pull up jumper with developing outside range. Eager to defend.
Weaknesses: Handles need work, he might be missing a hand.
Scouts Take: Luke’s all-around game makes him a can’t miss prospect, too good to be wasting away collecting this season’s harvest. Prioritize drafting the kid and letting him join the rebellion like his friends.
Ratings: SG: B+ A C+ A- C A
Stipulation: Too old to complete his training
Strengths: Elite in the mid-range with developing outside game. Solid vision with unselfish playstyle, good athlete but not flashy.
Weaknesses: Takes bad losses to heart, can affect his overall play.
Scouts Take: A true leader and mentor on and off the court, Obi-Wan is the definition of a winning player, will go toe to toe with just about any player/skillset including the chosen-one.
Ratings: B+ B+ B B+ C+ B
Stipulation: It was said he would destroy the Sim not join them
Strengths: Quick first step, explosive in transition and strong finisher at the rim. Range is already solid and still developing. Elite perimeter defense.
Weaknesses: Handles need work, can be a bit overaggressive at times.
Scouts Take: A dynamic two-way small forward with elite athleticism and a motor that doesn’t stop. While her decision-making needs work, her raw talent at both ends make her an elite prospect.
Ratings: A- B+ B- C+ A- A
Stipulation: None
Strengths: Elite inside presence, an imposing force on the lower block. Cool ass lightsaber.
Weaknesses: Decision making is lacking, should probably allow a certain chosen one to be given the rank of Master. May be missing hands.
Scouts Take: Get this muthah fuckin Jedi on yo muthah fuckin team.
Ratings: A- C C+ B A- C
Stipulations: None
Rest of the Jedi:
Qui-Gon Ginn - PF: B+ C+ B B B C
Ezra Bridger - SG C- B C C+ C A
Plo Koon - C: B+ C- C B B C
Rey Skywalker PG: C- B+ C+ B+ C A
Kanan Jarrus - PF: B C- C+ B+ B C
Cal Kestis – SG: C+ B+ C+ B+ C A
Ki-Adi Mundi – C: B C C B B- C
Team Sith
Strengths: Elite playmaking ability and necessarily skills to manipulate everything taking place on the court. Unlimited range, will get a steal.
Weaknesses: Bit of a chemistry question mark, history of turning teammates against each other, some would say the Kyrie Iriving of a galaxy far far away.
Scouts Take: Emperor Palpatine has the offensive and defensive prowess to control the game like a puppet master. His elite offensive IQ allows him to see plays before they happen but be wary. Despite his supreme talent he has been known to be a bit of a locker-room cancer.
Ratings: PG: A- A- A A D+ D
Stipulation: Somehow Palpatine returned (from injury)
Weaknesses: Easily manipulated. Handles need work, missing an arm and two legs. Not very mobile. Can get tunnel vision. Breathing.
Scouts Take: The strongest player on the court by 12 parsecs, fueled by rage hotter than the twin suns of Tatooine, Vader possess all the skills necessary to be an elite low post force on both sides of the court.
Ratings: C: A D+ C+ A A+ C
Stipulation: None
Weaknesses: Can get a little careless and arrogant on defense.
Scouts Take: An electrifying player and offensive menace who’s mix of speed, agility and body tattoos make him of the most exciting player in the galaxy to watch.
Ratings: SG: C B+ A B+ C B
Stipulation: KENOOOOOBIIIIIIIII
Weaknesses: WHERE ARE YEUUUU AND IM SO SORRY I CANNOT SLEEP I CANNOT DREAM TONOIIIGHT
Scouts Take: A dominant high energy scorer with an elite motor. His decision making needs a lot of work and his emotions needs to be kept in check.
Ratings: PG: B- B+ C- B+ C A
Weaknesses: Low volume scorer prefers to operate as a strategist rather than an offensive option.
Scouts Take: One of the greatest basketball minds of all time. While not the most athletic player, his sheer intelligence and command of the game make him an invaluable asset. However, his methodical pace and sometimes over-complicated approach can slow his team down in an era that favors speed and spacing.
Ratings: PF: C- B+ C A- C C
Stipulations: None
Rest of the Sith:
Darth Revan – SG: B- A B- A- C C
Darth Bane – SF: A- B- B+ A- B C
Grand Inquisitor – PF: B B- C+ B B- C
Count Dooku – SF: B- B C+ B- B D
Asajj Ventress – SG: C+ B C+ B- C C
The Games
Final Stats
Team Jedi
Yoda
Weaknesses: Size, a limitation it can be. Bulk up, he must
Scout’s Take: Championship aspirations, he fulfills. Draft him, a franchise changer you will select.
Ratings: PG: B+ A A A- C D
Stipulation: Start him at PG until he retires, you must.
Luke Skywalker:
Weaknesses: Handles need work, he might be missing a hand.
Scouts Take: Luke’s all-around game makes him a can’t miss prospect, too good to be wasting away collecting this season’s harvest. Prioritize drafting the kid and letting him join the rebellion like his friends.
Ratings: SG: B+ A C+ A- C A
Stipulation: Too old to complete his training
Obi-Wan Kenobi:
Weaknesses: Takes bad losses to heart, can affect his overall play.
Scouts Take: A true leader and mentor on and off the court, Obi-Wan is the definition of a winning player, will go toe to toe with just about any player/skillset including the chosen-one.
Ratings: B+ B+ B B+ C+ B
Stipulation: It was said he would destroy the Sim not join them
Ahsoka Tano
Weaknesses: Handles need work, can be a bit overaggressive at times.
Scouts Take: A dynamic two-way small forward with elite athleticism and a motor that doesn’t stop. While her decision-making needs work, her raw talent at both ends make her an elite prospect.
Ratings: A- B+ B- C+ A- A
Stipulation: None
Mace Windu
Weaknesses: Decision making is lacking, should probably allow a certain chosen one to be given the rank of Master. May be missing hands.
Scouts Take: Get this muthah fuckin Jedi on yo muthah fuckin team.
Ratings: A- C C+ B A- C
Stipulations: None
Rest of the Jedi:
Qui-Gon Ginn - PF: B+ C+ B B B C
Ezra Bridger - SG C- B C C+ C A
Plo Koon - C: B+ C- C B B C
Rey Skywalker PG: C- B+ C+ B+ C A
Kanan Jarrus - PF: B C- C+ B+ B C
Cal Kestis – SG: C+ B+ C+ B+ C A
Ki-Adi Mundi – C: B C C B B- C
Team Sith
Emperor Palpatine
Weaknesses: Bit of a chemistry question mark, history of turning teammates against each other, some would say the Kyrie Iriving of a galaxy far far away.
Scouts Take: Emperor Palpatine has the offensive and defensive prowess to control the game like a puppet master. His elite offensive IQ allows him to see plays before they happen but be wary. Despite his supreme talent he has been known to be a bit of a locker-room cancer.
Ratings: PG: A- A- A A D+ D
Stipulation: Somehow Palpatine returned (from injury)
Darth Vader
Strengths: The Force, he’s very strong with it Weaknesses: Easily manipulated. Handles need work, missing an arm and two legs. Not very mobile. Can get tunnel vision. Breathing.
Scouts Take: The strongest player on the court by 12 parsecs, fueled by rage hotter than the twin suns of Tatooine, Vader possess all the skills necessary to be an elite low post force on both sides of the court.
Ratings: C: A D+ C+ A A+ C
Stipulation: None
Darth Maul
Strengths: Elite handles for a combo guard, ambidextrous like a dual-bladed lightsaber. Quick first step and excellent athleticism. Weaknesses: Can get a little careless and arrogant on defense.
Scouts Take: An electrifying player and offensive menace who’s mix of speed, agility and body tattoos make him of the most exciting player in the galaxy to watch.
Ratings: SG: C B+ A B+ C B
Stipulation: KENOOOOOBIIIIIIIII
Kylo Ren
Strengths: Teenage Angst Weaknesses: WHERE ARE YEUUUU AND IM SO SORRY I CANNOT SLEEP I CANNOT DREAM TONOIIIGHT
Scouts Take: A dominant high energy scorer with an elite motor. His decision making needs a lot of work and his emotions needs to be kept in check.
Ratings: PG: B- B+ C- B+ C A
Darth Plagueis the Wise
Strengths: Basketball IQ is off the charts, good post moves and footwork. Good decision making for a big. Weaknesses: Low volume scorer prefers to operate as a strategist rather than an offensive option.
Scouts Take: One of the greatest basketball minds of all time. While not the most athletic player, his sheer intelligence and command of the game make him an invaluable asset. However, his methodical pace and sometimes over-complicated approach can slow his team down in an era that favors speed and spacing.
Ratings: PF: C- B+ C A- C C
Stipulations: None
Rest of the Sith:
Darth Revan – SG: B- A B- A- C C
Darth Bane – SF: A- B- B+ A- B C
Grand Inquisitor – PF: B B- C+ B B- C
Count Dooku – SF: B- B C+ B- B D
Asajj Ventress – SG: C+ B C+ B- C C
The Games
► Show Spoiler
Promos:
Just the Tip-Off Opening Night- 10/31
Raw Dog with Gradey - Half Off Hot Dogs - 11/7
Go Balls Deep - Mini Basektball Giveaway- 12/24
No Pull Out Night - Gradey Plays 48 Minutes - 1/19
Wet Dick Night - Free Pepsi when Gradey Hits 5 Threes- 2/14
Just the Tip-Off Opening Night- 10/31
Raw Dog with Gradey - Half Off Hot Dogs - 11/7
Go Balls Deep - Mini Basektball Giveaway- 12/24
No Pull Out Night - Gradey Plays 48 Minutes - 1/19
Wet Dick Night - Free Pepsi when Gradey Hits 5 Threes- 2/14
Just when you thought all hope was lost
Promos:
Just the Tip-Off Opening Night- 10/31
Raw Dog with Gradey - Half Off Hot Dogs - 11/7
Go Balls Deep - Mini Basektball Giveaway- 12/24
No Pull Out Night - Gradey Plays 48 Minutes - 1/19
Wet Dick Night - Free Pepsi when Gradey Hits 5 Threes- 2/14
Just the Tip-Off Opening Night- 10/31
Raw Dog with Gradey - Half Off Hot Dogs - 11/7
Go Balls Deep - Mini Basektball Giveaway- 12/24
No Pull Out Night - Gradey Plays 48 Minutes - 1/19
Wet Dick Night - Free Pepsi when Gradey Hits 5 Threes- 2/14
Ahsoka was stocky as hell, was named MVP
Promos:
Just the Tip-Off Opening Night- 10/31
Raw Dog with Gradey - Half Off Hot Dogs - 11/7
Go Balls Deep - Mini Basektball Giveaway- 12/24
No Pull Out Night - Gradey Plays 48 Minutes - 1/19
Wet Dick Night - Free Pepsi when Gradey Hits 5 Threes- 2/14
Just the Tip-Off Opening Night- 10/31
Raw Dog with Gradey - Half Off Hot Dogs - 11/7
Go Balls Deep - Mini Basektball Giveaway- 12/24
No Pull Out Night - Gradey Plays 48 Minutes - 1/19
Wet Dick Night - Free Pepsi when Gradey Hits 5 Threes- 2/14
Jedi’s need some big butts. Nobody wants to rebound against Vader
If I could like this twice, I would
Promos:
Just the Tip-Off Opening Night- 10/31
Raw Dog with Gradey - Half Off Hot Dogs - 11/7
Go Balls Deep - Mini Basektball Giveaway- 12/24
No Pull Out Night - Gradey Plays 48 Minutes - 1/19
Wet Dick Night - Free Pepsi when Gradey Hits 5 Threes- 2/14
Just the Tip-Off Opening Night- 10/31
Raw Dog with Gradey - Half Off Hot Dogs - 11/7
Go Balls Deep - Mini Basektball Giveaway- 12/24
No Pull Out Night - Gradey Plays 48 Minutes - 1/19
Wet Dick Night - Free Pepsi when Gradey Hits 5 Threes- 2/14
Added one more in there too, Chew Bacca was a legit all time great
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