Sim League Nirvana

Joe wrote: March 4th, 2025, 9:40 am

Josh wrote: March 4th, 2025, 9:31 am
7. Excluding NBA players, if you were creating a player(s) for the 24 draft how would they look (list name, age, height, weight, ratings)? Can be anything from 2024 - a pop culture figure, a character from a movie released that year, a player drafted in a different sport, your dad, whoever.
@Joe @Boredo BONK
Anora
23 y/o, 110 pounds, 5'3"
Inside: Wouldn't you like to know
Outside: Pretty, pretty good
Handles: Very nice
Defense: Overcommits
Rebounding: With attitude
Stipulation: Automatically resigns after rookie contract on a max deal, but changes to a min and then hits the waivers after 1 week

We're letting you off with a bonk warning but next time straight to jail

Spurs Celtics and Nuggets claim 69 RP for Bonk Moderator job

2022-23 Offseason Questionnaire

1. Draft thoughts? Sleepers, busts, your draft, other drafts, whatever.

Didn't pay a ton of attention this year but I do worry that a lot of the draft will be pretty weak outside of Wemby and Edey. Would have loved if the next completely broken uberstar (e.g., Lebron, KD, Turner, Wemby) went to the West instead of the East, but alas here we go again. Traded in for shits and gigs to get Nnaji, who has great notes but apparently 5 potential. Hopefully he gets the teen boost and a decent dice roll or two in the NDL, because big butts are indeed a dying breed. Scoot going to the NDL feels OP, he'll definitely be way better than the 8th best player in this draft.

2. How do you feel about your offseason, and what are your goals for this coming season?

Pretty meh. We're floatin directionless in the middle for the first time in our franchise history, earning our first ever 8 seed, and nothing feels dumber. We've got all our picks now and a bunch of prime age talent so we gotta make some decisions. Was happy to get Ja back on a sub-max long-term deal so hopefully he gets a few positive dice rolls for once and we can build around him.

3. Thoughts on TC?

I want to say that it literally couldnt get worse than last year, but those would be famous last words. If my sub-age-30 players just reverted to what they were two seasons ago and nothing beyond that (seems so reasonable) I would be thrilled. At this point i am expecting the worst.

4. Who wins each division and why?

Atlantic: Knicks - they had it locked up last year and were decimated by injuries. Nobody should come particularly close unless they make moves
Central: Hornets. The Bulls and Hawks should take a step back and the Hornets return basically the same roster. Top team in the East IMO
Midwest: Nuggets. Nobody else seems to be interested in this particular division title
Pacific: Warriors. Until the Suns figure out point guard, I think the Warriors are the most complete team in this division

5. Trade market has kinda screeched to a halt after a lot of moves this season. Recommend a trade for two teams outside your division.

Suns send Bagley and a pick for Langston Gallaway

6. What team will have the biggest wins delta from last year to this one (positive or negative)? Why?

Jesse because Skillz dont tank two years in a row

7. Excluding NBA players, if you were creating a player(s) for the 24 draft how would they look (list name, age, height, weight, ratings)? Can be anything from 2024 - a pop culture figure, a character from a movie released that year, a player drafted in a different sport, your dad, whoever.

Moo Deng 2'3" 175 A- D+ F+ B+ B A

Extremely aggressive on offense and defense but decidedly wet and sloppy. Not a team player.

8. What GM have you not heard from in a while that you want to hear on a pod? What topic/decision would you want to hear them discuss or question would you ask them? (extra credit: get them to join a pod this season)

Let's get Bobby on one of these

9. Thoughts on your real life sports team(s).

Celtics need to keep Zinger healthy or the playoffs - don't hate the idea of putting him on ice. Annoying that Tee Higgins got the franchise tag - Pats will need to land some other big FAs like Ronnie Stanley or Chris Godwin. Make Pats season fun again

10. Movies, TV, books, games, whatever recommendations.

Severance is great, so is the new season of Invincible

Bonus: add a pic/gif of how you feel about your season

1. Draft thoughts? Sleepers, busts, your draft, other drafts, whatever.
Didn’t have any picks so wasn’t too locked into it. Fun for Jwoo to get Wemby, bummer he’s in the East. A little surprised Edey went #2.

2. How do you feel about your offseason, and what are your goals for this coming season?
Offseason going well so far, able to retain Udoka and Glen Rice. Should be able to resign a birds guy day 4/5 to use up any extra salary as a trade filler. Looking to add at least one more piece to the team and goal is to compete for a ring.

3. Thoughts on TC?
More development, specially volume scoring, from Ant and Maxey. The efficiency is already there for both guys, just need them both to chuck up more shots. Based on FA Udoka was borderline flat A rebounding, hopefully we can pump his last +8 RC into rebounding and he gets to A. Reaves becoming a more well rounded player would be a nice bonus, hoping the potential boosts he’s got/is getting from the NDL hits hard this offseason.

4. Who wins each division and why?

Atlantic: Bullets. Another year of development from Ant and Maxey, Reaves as our new 6th man and additional salary to use in a potential trade.
Central: Bulls. Losing Rose will hurt but Luka is still amazing.
Midwest: Nuggets. Mavs close 2nd but Nugz are the more developed team
Pacific: Suns. Jokic is broken and they were able to keep Rui.

5. Trade market has kinda screeched to a halt after a lot of moves this season. Recommend a trade for two teams outside your division.
Kyrie and a couple Mavs 1sts for De’Aaron Fox

6. What team will have the biggest wins delta from last year to this one (positive or negative)? Why?
Grizzlies. They’ve traded Porzingis, Joesph, Hield, and Allen so far. They’re pivoting to a rebuild so won’t come anywhere near 47 wins.

7. Excluding NBA players, if you were creating a player(s) for the 24 draft how would they look (list name, age, height, weight, ratings)? Can be anything from 2024 - a pop culture figure, a character from a movie released that year, a player drafted in a different sport, your dad, whoever.
Donald J Trump 78 5’10” – 6’3” 230-270 (all unclear) C- B- B C B+ F

8. What GM have you not heard from in a while that you want to hear on a pod? What topic/decision would you want to hear them discuss or question would you ask them? (extra credit: get them to join a pod this season)
Nav. He usually has interesting/against the norm points of views on guys and used to post cool statistical articles. Be fun to hear who he thinks is most over/under rated currently.

9. Thoughts on your real life sports team(s).
Commanders playoff run was incredible. Non-stop scoring against the Lions in the divisional round was pretty surreal. Never have felt so good about our QB’s/teams future except maybe after RGIII’s rookie year. Ovi getting close to Wayne’s record, hopefully it hits this year and we can make a playoff run. Wiz doing a good job tanking, really hope we land a top 2 pick for Flagg or Harper. Maryland basketball playing well, up to #13 in the country.

10. Movies, TV, books, games, whatever recommendations.
Need to catchup on Severance S2. Been enjoying new White Lotus. Marvel Rivals is fun with the boys.

Joe wrote: March 4th, 2025, 10:07 am Atlantic: Knicks - they had it locked up last year and were decimated by injuries. Nobody should come particularly close unless they make moves

noted

2022-23 Offseason Questionnaire

1. Draft thoughts? Sleepers, busts, your draft, other drafts, whatever.
Didn't really pay close attention to this one. Can't wait to see Wemby boxes. Took late first round fliers on Walsh and Council. Go Hogs!

2. How do you feel about your offseason, and what are your goals for this coming season?
Pretty uneventful offseason. Retained Gafford and added Whiteside to flesh out our big depth. Signed Beasley to an LLE - hoping he can be a fine end of rotation type. Doesn't look like he's been camped yet, so that could be an interesting opportunity.

3. Thoughts on TC?
Hoping Kessler can be a top-end big butt sooner than later. Averaged 2.6 blocks and 11.6 reb per 36 as a rookie (and he's getting the rest of his blocks and def reb camped out this RC), so hoping he'll be close after this TC.
Jalen Green showed promising flashes this past season, and his TO/36 went down meaningfully (vs. his rookie year) when he wasn't playing backup PG. Hoping he'll be a starting caliber SG after this TC.
Otherwise, it would be cool if Tyus can get to A+ Outside (seems like he's on the border as is) and Turner can get to A Inside / A Def / B- Reb.

4. Who wins each division and why?

Atlantic: Knicks. Think we would have won 55+ games and the division last season if our three best players hadn't missed 80 games combined. Plus, our entire rotation (Biyombo aside) is 27 and younger, so we should hopefully improve in TC.
Central: Bulls. They nearly won 70 games last year and Luka / J-Dub are only getting better.
Midwest: Nuggets. Tough to lose Goga but the rest of the team is still awesome.
Pacific: Suns. Huge that they got Rui back. Hilarious that they have a guy named Alex Fudge.

5. Trade market has kinda screeched to a halt after a lot of moves this season. Recommend a trade for two teams outside your division.
Trae Young + Jalen Duren for DAL 27-29 FRPs + filler

6. What team will have the biggest wins delta from last year to this one (positive or negative)? Why?
Grizz - they've already begun the rebuild

7. Excluding NBA players, if you were creating a player(s) for the 24 draft how would they look (list name, age, height, weight, ratings)? Can be anything from 2024 - a pop culture figure, a character from a movie released that year, a player drafted in a different sport, your dad, whoever.
Matt Hanessian SF 6'5'' 215 31 B- B+ C+ A- B F
F Potential because he's a 31 year old rookie

8. What GM have you not heard from in a while that you want to hear on a pod? What topic/decision would you want to hear them discuss or question would you ask them? (extra credit: get them to join a pod this season)
Jack. Would love to hear him talk about his team / get his takes on the league and would be a refreshing new voice

9. Thoughts on your real life sports team(s).
I'm upset that the Giants are going after Rodgers
The Knicks can't get stops but hopefully Mitch can stay healthy enough for a deep playoff run

10. Movies, TV, books, games, whatever recommendations.
Maybe not the greatest show ever but White Lotus has been entertaining

Nav wrote: March 4th, 2025, 3:53 pm

7. Excluding NBA players, if you were creating a player(s) for the 24 draft how would they look (list name, age, height, weight, ratings)? Can be anything from 2024 - a pop culture figure, a character from a movie released that year, a player drafted in a different sport, your dad, whoever.
Matt Hanessian SF 6'5'' 215 31 B- B+ C+ A- B F
F Potential because he's a 31 year old rookie

LMAO A- defense yeah right. Also sneaky volume with those ratings cuz you know my jumping is 0

Matt wrote: March 4th, 2025, 3:57 pm

Nav wrote: March 4th, 2025, 3:53 pm

7. Excluding NBA players, if you were creating a player(s) for the 24 draft how would they look (list name, age, height, weight, ratings)? Can be anything from 2024 - a pop culture figure, a character from a movie released that year, a player drafted in a different sport, your dad, whoever.
Matt Hanessian SF 6'5'' 215 31 B- B+ C+ A- B F
F Potential because he's a 31 year old rookie

LMAO A- defense yeah right. Also sneaky volume with those ratings cuz you know my jumping is 0

Only 215 too. That digital trainer program is about to get another customer if true

Joe wrote: March 4th, 2025, 4:07 pm

Matt wrote: March 4th, 2025, 3:57 pm

Nav wrote: March 4th, 2025, 3:53 pm

7. Excluding NBA players, if you were creating a player(s) for the 24 draft how would they look (list name, age, height, weight, ratings)? Can be anything from 2024 - a pop culture figure, a character from a movie released that year, a player drafted in a different sport, your dad, whoever.
Matt Hanessian SF 6'5'' 215 31 B- B+ C+ A- B F
F Potential because he's a 31 year old rookie

LMAO A- defense yeah right. Also sneaky volume with those ratings cuz you know my jumping is 0

Only 215 too. That digital trainer program is about to get another customer if true

that digital trainer better start learning Chinese once an SLN training staff gets its mitts on Mett

Joe wrote: March 4th, 2025, 4:07 pm

Matt wrote: March 4th, 2025, 3:57 pm

Nav wrote: March 4th, 2025, 3:53 pm

7. Excluding NBA players, if you were creating a player(s) for the 24 draft how would they look (list name, age, height, weight, ratings)? Can be anything from 2024 - a pop culture figure, a character from a movie released that year, a player drafted in a different sport, your dad, whoever.
Matt Hanessian SF 6'5'' 215 31 B- B+ C+ A- B F
F Potential because he's a 31 year old rookie

LMAO A- defense yeah right. Also sneaky volume with those ratings cuz you know my jumping is 0

Only 215 too. That digital trainer program is about to get another customer if true

it's just so hard to cut out junk food

2022-23 Offseason Questionnaire

1. Draft thoughts? Sleepers, busts, your draft, other drafts, whatever.
Cam whitmore! hes nice. Nnjai or whatever will be nice. i think hell be the sneaky stocks no TO lord this year.

2. How do you feel about your offseason, and what are your goals for this coming season?
i changed the game this offseason (pending vote)!

3. Thoughts on TC?
its gonna be trash. Dont have a ton of high potential guys and just guys in their prime so at best not much occurs and some rookies make a noticeable gains. Idk how much improving the other main 4 guys have left at this point in their TC careers.

4. Who wins each division and why?

Atlantic: Knicks, turner
Central: Hawks, KD
Midwest: Nuggets, Embiid
Pacific: Suns, Jokic

5. Trade market has kinda screeched to a halt after a lot of moves this season. Recommend a trade for two teams outside your division.
TBD

6. What team will have the biggest wins delta from last year to this one (positive or negative)? Why?
Mavs, Kyrie ACL tear is a killer. Truly prolific speed run. Finals team to poverty franchise before the playoffs is all-time stuff.

7. Excluding NBA players, if you were creating a player(s) for the 24 draft how would they look (list name, age, height, weight, ratings)? Can be anything from 2024 - a pop culture figure, a character from a movie released that year, a player drafted in a different sport, your dad, whoever.
TBD

8. What GM have you not heard from in a while that you want to hear on a pod? What topic/decision would you want to hear them discuss or question would you ask them? (extra credit: get them to join a pod this season)
Pankin

9. Thoughts on your real life sports team(s).
everything sucks. march madness will bring fun and a first weekend exit for the hawks its looking like.

10. Movies, TV, books, games, whatever recommendations.
Common Side effects HBO