That's right, I am drafting Norvel Pelle: the 2014 Mock Draft
Posted: May 6th, 2024, 12:51 am
Tossing up this mock draft for everyone to take a gander at in the morning. This is a really fun and deep-looking draft to where this exercise was actually fun and interesting. Lot of B potential guys will be on the board in the 30s. Plenty of players that can be considered sleepers. Going to be fun! Let's start the draft now! Or at least, hopefully, on Tuesday evening.
1. New York Knicks: Joel Embiid
This year's No. 1 pick is kind of a fun debate, and while I do think I would go Jokic if I won the lottery (I'm big on speaking things into existence) our friend Nav is the master of the long tank, and I can see him just being like screw it and taking Embiid instead. His unavailability is a nice boost if you want to lose another year after this one. He's pretty good at everything other than taking care of the ball. Could be one of the best players in the league, and doesn't have to camp like an SF, depending how you feel about that. Also stockier than Jokic.
2. Cleveland Cavaliers: Nikola Jokic
Jokic isn't as stocky or flashy as Embiid, but he also doesn't have the ambiguous injury risk ahead and is the better player IRL, so he has a pretty great case at 1. He's the very obvious No. 2 if he falls here. His initial big butt ratings aren't as good as Embiid's, but he's also going to get well-rounded growth due to his SF stipulation, and Ashes clearly loaded him with strength and post defense to where he will be able to hold his own at center and not be a liability. I was going to say Marc Gasol walked so Joker could run, but that would just make me weirdly worried for no reason.
3. Phoenix Suns: Andrew Wiggins
Wiggs looks like a somewhat clear No. 3, since he's probably full of potential, he's 19, and he looks like he'll be a pretty good scorer. The underwhelming nature of IRL Wiggins, however, does leave some room for doubt as to whether he's the obvious guy here. I would say he is the biggest upside swing after the top two guys are gone, and I think Tyler is a man who loves him some upside, so yeah, I can see Wiggins going third, particularly if you are not in a hurry to be good.
4. Orlando Magic: Julius Randle
Some would call Randle a divisive prospect, while others would say he's just Blake Griffin with no defense. He does have very high scouted potential, so while that might be nothing, it also might not be nothing — he could be a really good offensive big that does everything but guard. Is defense important to you? Why would it be? I think Randle is a pretty interesting sheer upside swing and yet a corner of my brain is afraid to draft him because of his very glaring weaknesses. An absolutely thrilling risk reward play and I think the Magic (or someone) should do it. If you don't, I'll fucking do it at 8, but I will not feel good about it!
5. LA Lakers: Zach LaVine
Yeah the Lakers just took CJ McCollum, but CJ McCollum also looked certifiably kind of ass last season, so I'm giving GX a do-over here with LaVine. Due to his name and IRL career, I figure he is going somewhere early in the draft. Pretty good scoring prospect. Not much defense, lots of jumping, should have had a stip where he and Aaron Gordon get 100 potential if they ever face each other in the dunk contest. I'd say the upside is pretty solid.
6. Vancouver Grizzlies: Clint Capela
Clint seems pretty solid. Kinda fits on any team. Had a good career on the Rockets. His notes say "guaranteed double-double guy" so yeah, someone should draft him. I hope everyone is reading carefully enough to notice all the extreme deadpanning I'm doing as I write this — found out that you get more RP if your articles have humor. It's funny to me, ok???
7. Golden State Warriors: Marcus Smart
It feels like Marcus Smart is the hot girl in the lottery but mostly because he is a point guard. His scouted potential isn't super high relative to the pack but he has fun notes. He definitely has a solid floor, but he also doesn't profile like a franchise PG due to his middling offensive game. The Warriors need a PG, so this makes sense for him, he totally won't make it to my pick at 8, but I wouldn't mind having him either.
8. Toronto Raptors: Norvel Pelle
Yeah bitches I'm taking Norvel "Fake A potential" Pelle - popular conspiracy theory is that Ashes actually gave him A potential, then forgot to hide it, so he totally has insane upside and isn't a red herring. I'm just kidding, I'm not taking Norvel. At least not at 8. That's because I am taking him at 1 after I win the lotto.
9. Golden State Warriors (via Minnesota): Aaron Gordon
Aaron Gordon has one of the most mystifying draft profiles I've ever seen because it feels like Ashes went out of his way to make him seem super mundane, but he also can't go to the NDL and only has B potential and kind of meh ratings. What to make of it? Honestly no idea. I feel like he was made with a chance to be good but I don't know what it actually will take for that to occur.
10 Orlando Magic (via Miami): Jabari Parker
Jabari was probably the first player I ever scouted IRL and he's 19 with A potential, so while his notes aren't super exciting, he does seem like an interesting upside case. Plenty of no-defense guys with good scoring ratings have found success. Maybe Fake Jabari can stay healthy and be a really solid scorer. Yeah I gave the Magic Parker and Randle just to piss off Merv.
11. San Antonio Spurs: Dante Exum
Our buddy Jordo is so horny for point guards that Kendrick Lamar already dropped a song dissing him for it. Dante Exum was a mystifying prospect IRL, mystifying in the sense that despite never actually being very good, we all hyped the shit out of him and he got picked fifth somehow. He was the Michael Jordan of Australia, fellas. Smash the button Jordo!!!
12. Charlotte Hornets: Gary Harris
One of the more confusing things about this draft file is that I felt like Gary Harris should have been better at defense. In my mind he's a good defender and probably a solid prospect. Feels like a pretty reliable mold if you can weather the whole Not Rebounding thing. The Hornets just need some shooting guards that are not Sasha Pavlovic or Evan Turner.
13. Toronto Raptors (via Chicago): Jerami Grant
Wow, a surprise second lottery pick! Had to take myself a fellow Jerami. He kind of seems like a tweener in a bad Thaddeus Young kind of way, but he does have good scoring ratings, so I think he's probably not too bad. He will need good TCs and camps to help with his issues as a rebounder.
14. Vancouver Grizzlies (via Atlanta): Jusuf Nurkic
Lot of people have been throwing shade at Nurk but let me just say that Bubble Nurk was a really glorious thing to watch. He seems like a very solid center prospect who would totally be drafted by the Raptors already if they didn't have Steven Adams. The other Canadian team can have him instead.
15. Golden State Warriors (via LA Clippers): TJ Warren
Warren was one of those guys IRL who was super boring and underwhelming but then you'd look up and he'd be scoring 20 points on all midrange shots. SLN TJ seems pretty decent, but there are a lot of no-defense scorers and general forwards in this class. Might be decent value for someone as a result.
16. Phoenix Suns (via New Jersey): Bogdan Bogdanovic
Well, the other Bogdanovic was a big fucking bust, so this one has to be good. Best shooter in the file is ready to step into Ray Allen's big ol' Tevas in the Phoenix desert. Feels like a very high floor guy who could go in the late lotto, even.
17. New York Knicks (via Indiana): Dario Saric
Not sure what to make of Dario but he was kind of good IRL and had some hype going at this time, so I feel like he might be a useful role player. Knicks can't take anyone who's too too good out of the box. Do you know about his fat, mean brother Wario Saric?
18. Sacramento Kings (via Washington): Nik Stauskas
Nik Rocks! Probably has a strap from distance and nothing else. Will be ranked 55th on Jesse's trade value rankings 15 days from now.
19. Vancouver Grizzlies (via Utah): Spencer Dinwiddie
Feels like Dinwiddie will be good in the NDL. In real life he was like, alarmingly inefficient though. Ratings aren't bad and he'll probably score it pretty well down there. Not sure what to make of the low quickness thing.
20. Detroit Pistons: Joe Harris
Lot of shooting in this draft. Joe Harris's notes are short and sweet. He will make shots. Pistons can maybe plug him in for Turkey Glue in a year or two? Very solid prospect probably, just not spectacular.
21. Boston Celtics (via Philadelphia): Kyle Anderson
Another "no NDL" guy. Wonder if Anderson can do a viable Ilyasova impression? That's probably the idea. A useful role player to have around, perhaps. Good fit in Boston as depth behind the other guys. Maybe should go higher than this.
22. Vancouver Grizzlies (via Milwaukee): Dwight Powell
If SLN Dwight Powell is anywhere close to as boring as IRL Dwight Powell, well, he will be on someone's bench for a decade and occasionally play well. His notes seem fine
23. Phoenix Suns (via Seattle): Langston Galloway
Lot of pretty solid backup PG types in this class. I don't like overdrafting those guys, but this range feels about right. Galloway is kind of an interesting sleeper with those ratings but can't go to the NDL. Good handles. Maybe a very solid player. This whole 15-35 range is pretty strong!
24. Toronto Raptors (via Denver): Khem Birch
Another Canadian eh? Birch has pretty useful sounding notes and seems like he can be a decent backup. I'm with it. I'm not actually picking him though. But someone should. Has a good skillset for the NDL.
25. Dallas Mavericks: PJ Hairston
This Much Lesser Version of Glen Rice probably will get picked in the 20s? The NDL gains are nice enough. PJ was a noted asshole IRL, if that matters to you. He seems like a guy who will score a little, play a little defense, and not turn it over too much. Seems okay. But can't stash him again. I have heard some funny PJ Hairston stories over the years.
26. Boston Celtics (via Houston): Doug McDermott
Mysterious lack of draft notes? Good shooting? White? No chance McBucks doesn't end up in Boston. Actually kinda curious why he didn't get notes, maybe a red herring of some sort. A white herring.
27. New Jersey Nets (via Sacramento): Glenn Robinson III
I'm actually going to take him at 24 and hold him hostage and make Steven trade up for him, nothing to see here. You will never get this Steven.
28. Boston Celtics: Jordan Clarkson
Clarkson's notes are just ok but he's had a pretty solid career when you dig into it. Feels like a backup who can score it. Has the PG eligibility at SG, which some people like and others don't.
29. New Jersey Nets (via POR): Thanasis Antetokounmpo
The recruitment process for Giannis begins NOW! Pankin you had better trade in and get this guy! Wish he had a stip where he has to go on Giannis's team or Giannis will get zero loyalty or something like that. He looks like he sucks, just kidding, don't pick him.
1. New York Knicks: Joel Embiid
This year's No. 1 pick is kind of a fun debate, and while I do think I would go Jokic if I won the lottery (I'm big on speaking things into existence) our friend Nav is the master of the long tank, and I can see him just being like screw it and taking Embiid instead. His unavailability is a nice boost if you want to lose another year after this one. He's pretty good at everything other than taking care of the ball. Could be one of the best players in the league, and doesn't have to camp like an SF, depending how you feel about that. Also stockier than Jokic.
2. Cleveland Cavaliers: Nikola Jokic
Jokic isn't as stocky or flashy as Embiid, but he also doesn't have the ambiguous injury risk ahead and is the better player IRL, so he has a pretty great case at 1. He's the very obvious No. 2 if he falls here. His initial big butt ratings aren't as good as Embiid's, but he's also going to get well-rounded growth due to his SF stipulation, and Ashes clearly loaded him with strength and post defense to where he will be able to hold his own at center and not be a liability. I was going to say Marc Gasol walked so Joker could run, but that would just make me weirdly worried for no reason.
3. Phoenix Suns: Andrew Wiggins
Wiggs looks like a somewhat clear No. 3, since he's probably full of potential, he's 19, and he looks like he'll be a pretty good scorer. The underwhelming nature of IRL Wiggins, however, does leave some room for doubt as to whether he's the obvious guy here. I would say he is the biggest upside swing after the top two guys are gone, and I think Tyler is a man who loves him some upside, so yeah, I can see Wiggins going third, particularly if you are not in a hurry to be good.
4. Orlando Magic: Julius Randle
Some would call Randle a divisive prospect, while others would say he's just Blake Griffin with no defense. He does have very high scouted potential, so while that might be nothing, it also might not be nothing — he could be a really good offensive big that does everything but guard. Is defense important to you? Why would it be? I think Randle is a pretty interesting sheer upside swing and yet a corner of my brain is afraid to draft him because of his very glaring weaknesses. An absolutely thrilling risk reward play and I think the Magic (or someone) should do it. If you don't, I'll fucking do it at 8, but I will not feel good about it!
5. LA Lakers: Zach LaVine
Yeah the Lakers just took CJ McCollum, but CJ McCollum also looked certifiably kind of ass last season, so I'm giving GX a do-over here with LaVine. Due to his name and IRL career, I figure he is going somewhere early in the draft. Pretty good scoring prospect. Not much defense, lots of jumping, should have had a stip where he and Aaron Gordon get 100 potential if they ever face each other in the dunk contest. I'd say the upside is pretty solid.
6. Vancouver Grizzlies: Clint Capela
Clint seems pretty solid. Kinda fits on any team. Had a good career on the Rockets. His notes say "guaranteed double-double guy" so yeah, someone should draft him. I hope everyone is reading carefully enough to notice all the extreme deadpanning I'm doing as I write this — found out that you get more RP if your articles have humor. It's funny to me, ok???
7. Golden State Warriors: Marcus Smart
It feels like Marcus Smart is the hot girl in the lottery but mostly because he is a point guard. His scouted potential isn't super high relative to the pack but he has fun notes. He definitely has a solid floor, but he also doesn't profile like a franchise PG due to his middling offensive game. The Warriors need a PG, so this makes sense for him, he totally won't make it to my pick at 8, but I wouldn't mind having him either.
8. Toronto Raptors: Norvel Pelle
Yeah bitches I'm taking Norvel "Fake A potential" Pelle - popular conspiracy theory is that Ashes actually gave him A potential, then forgot to hide it, so he totally has insane upside and isn't a red herring. I'm just kidding, I'm not taking Norvel. At least not at 8. That's because I am taking him at 1 after I win the lotto.
9. Golden State Warriors (via Minnesota): Aaron Gordon
Aaron Gordon has one of the most mystifying draft profiles I've ever seen because it feels like Ashes went out of his way to make him seem super mundane, but he also can't go to the NDL and only has B potential and kind of meh ratings. What to make of it? Honestly no idea. I feel like he was made with a chance to be good but I don't know what it actually will take for that to occur.
10 Orlando Magic (via Miami): Jabari Parker
Jabari was probably the first player I ever scouted IRL and he's 19 with A potential, so while his notes aren't super exciting, he does seem like an interesting upside case. Plenty of no-defense guys with good scoring ratings have found success. Maybe Fake Jabari can stay healthy and be a really solid scorer. Yeah I gave the Magic Parker and Randle just to piss off Merv.
11. San Antonio Spurs: Dante Exum
Our buddy Jordo is so horny for point guards that Kendrick Lamar already dropped a song dissing him for it. Dante Exum was a mystifying prospect IRL, mystifying in the sense that despite never actually being very good, we all hyped the shit out of him and he got picked fifth somehow. He was the Michael Jordan of Australia, fellas. Smash the button Jordo!!!
12. Charlotte Hornets: Gary Harris
One of the more confusing things about this draft file is that I felt like Gary Harris should have been better at defense. In my mind he's a good defender and probably a solid prospect. Feels like a pretty reliable mold if you can weather the whole Not Rebounding thing. The Hornets just need some shooting guards that are not Sasha Pavlovic or Evan Turner.
13. Toronto Raptors (via Chicago): Jerami Grant
Wow, a surprise second lottery pick! Had to take myself a fellow Jerami. He kind of seems like a tweener in a bad Thaddeus Young kind of way, but he does have good scoring ratings, so I think he's probably not too bad. He will need good TCs and camps to help with his issues as a rebounder.
14. Vancouver Grizzlies (via Atlanta): Jusuf Nurkic
Lot of people have been throwing shade at Nurk but let me just say that Bubble Nurk was a really glorious thing to watch. He seems like a very solid center prospect who would totally be drafted by the Raptors already if they didn't have Steven Adams. The other Canadian team can have him instead.
15. Golden State Warriors (via LA Clippers): TJ Warren
Warren was one of those guys IRL who was super boring and underwhelming but then you'd look up and he'd be scoring 20 points on all midrange shots. SLN TJ seems pretty decent, but there are a lot of no-defense scorers and general forwards in this class. Might be decent value for someone as a result.
16. Phoenix Suns (via New Jersey): Bogdan Bogdanovic
Well, the other Bogdanovic was a big fucking bust, so this one has to be good. Best shooter in the file is ready to step into Ray Allen's big ol' Tevas in the Phoenix desert. Feels like a very high floor guy who could go in the late lotto, even.
17. New York Knicks (via Indiana): Dario Saric
Not sure what to make of Dario but he was kind of good IRL and had some hype going at this time, so I feel like he might be a useful role player. Knicks can't take anyone who's too too good out of the box. Do you know about his fat, mean brother Wario Saric?
18. Sacramento Kings (via Washington): Nik Stauskas
Nik Rocks! Probably has a strap from distance and nothing else. Will be ranked 55th on Jesse's trade value rankings 15 days from now.
19. Vancouver Grizzlies (via Utah): Spencer Dinwiddie
Feels like Dinwiddie will be good in the NDL. In real life he was like, alarmingly inefficient though. Ratings aren't bad and he'll probably score it pretty well down there. Not sure what to make of the low quickness thing.
20. Detroit Pistons: Joe Harris
Lot of shooting in this draft. Joe Harris's notes are short and sweet. He will make shots. Pistons can maybe plug him in for Turkey Glue in a year or two? Very solid prospect probably, just not spectacular.
21. Boston Celtics (via Philadelphia): Kyle Anderson
Another "no NDL" guy. Wonder if Anderson can do a viable Ilyasova impression? That's probably the idea. A useful role player to have around, perhaps. Good fit in Boston as depth behind the other guys. Maybe should go higher than this.
22. Vancouver Grizzlies (via Milwaukee): Dwight Powell
If SLN Dwight Powell is anywhere close to as boring as IRL Dwight Powell, well, he will be on someone's bench for a decade and occasionally play well. His notes seem fine
23. Phoenix Suns (via Seattle): Langston Galloway
Lot of pretty solid backup PG types in this class. I don't like overdrafting those guys, but this range feels about right. Galloway is kind of an interesting sleeper with those ratings but can't go to the NDL. Good handles. Maybe a very solid player. This whole 15-35 range is pretty strong!
24. Toronto Raptors (via Denver): Khem Birch
Another Canadian eh? Birch has pretty useful sounding notes and seems like he can be a decent backup. I'm with it. I'm not actually picking him though. But someone should. Has a good skillset for the NDL.
25. Dallas Mavericks: PJ Hairston
This Much Lesser Version of Glen Rice probably will get picked in the 20s? The NDL gains are nice enough. PJ was a noted asshole IRL, if that matters to you. He seems like a guy who will score a little, play a little defense, and not turn it over too much. Seems okay. But can't stash him again. I have heard some funny PJ Hairston stories over the years.
26. Boston Celtics (via Houston): Doug McDermott
Mysterious lack of draft notes? Good shooting? White? No chance McBucks doesn't end up in Boston. Actually kinda curious why he didn't get notes, maybe a red herring of some sort. A white herring.
27. New Jersey Nets (via Sacramento): Glenn Robinson III
I'm actually going to take him at 24 and hold him hostage and make Steven trade up for him, nothing to see here. You will never get this Steven.
28. Boston Celtics: Jordan Clarkson
Clarkson's notes are just ok but he's had a pretty solid career when you dig into it. Feels like a backup who can score it. Has the PG eligibility at SG, which some people like and others don't.
29. New Jersey Nets (via POR): Thanasis Antetokounmpo
The recruitment process for Giannis begins NOW! Pankin you had better trade in and get this guy! Wish he had a stip where he has to go on Giannis's team or Giannis will get zero loyalty or something like that. He looks like he sucks, just kidding, don't pick him.