Multiverse of Madness: SLN Edition

[Merv]

Ever wondered what would happen if you switched places with an alternate reality's version of yourself? Well some players in SLN and the NBA got to do just that, it worked for some...others not so much. Let's dive into 10 players, 5 of the best SLN outcomes vs real life and 5 of the worst. Since people say compliment sandwiches are tasty, we'll start with 2 positives, proceed to 5 negatives, and close with 3 positives.

Positive Outcome #1

Eddie Griffin

IRL, Eddie entered the NBA as the 7th pick in the 2001 NBA Draft. He would put in two relatively underperforming seasons before entering rehab in a career derailed by alcohol and other issues. He would return to the NBA and continue to play below average before passing away in a car accident. SLN Eddie entered the league with a crazy stip I still don't fully comprehend and was drafted 12th overall by the Cleveland Cavs and Mantypas. Mantypas guided Eddie into staying off of alcohol and into becoming a two way superstar. Eddie reached the peak of his powers in Chicago and worked closely with Tony Parker to guide former 0 time SLN champ, Matt, to becoming 1 time SLN champ.
NBA Avgs: 7.2 PPG, 5.8 RPG, 0.8 APG, and 1.7 BPG
SLN Avgs: 16.3 PPG, 11.9 RPG, 3.7 APG, and 3.3 BPG; 11 time All Star, 2 time DPOY, 3 time 1st team All-SLN, 1 time SLN Champion

Postive Outcome #2

Kris Clack

IRL, Kris Clack was a dominant force at Texas and their first McDonald's All-American. Ashes went to Texas....and this guy was a sleeper...maybe the writing was on the wall? Kris would go 55th to the Boston Celtics, 2 picks before some random ass Argentinian. I'm sure that was fine for Boston fans. Kris never played a second in the NBA, went to Italy for a few seasons before ending his career in the NDL playing for the Austin Toros and Albuquerque Thunderbirds. Kris now coaches HS basketball in the Austin area, maybe he'll teach Amelia how to ball tf out. SLN Kris was an entirely different animal. He was a no notes 27th overall pick by Jesse. After a season in the NDL, Kris "Tick Tack" "Glue God" Clack established himself as an up and coming force in SAC before being swiftly traded by Jesse for Joe Smith's bald head and the Sandwich to Utah. In Utah, Kris flourish becoming the GOAT of 6th men and winning his only SLN title. He would win the now-named Clack of the Year award twice in Utah while earning his only 2 All Star appearances and 1st and 2nd team All SLN recognition. After becoming more of a journeyman 6th man, Kris has made stops in Toronto, Vancouver, Sacramento (again), Orlando, Dallas, Minnesota, Phoenix, and Philadelphia. Kris earned his final Clack of the Year as a key cog in Orlando's "We Believe in Magic" 2011 playoff team.
NBA Avgs: NEVER PLAYED
SLN Avgs: 14.3 PPG, 8.4 RPG, 3.6 APG, 1.4 SPG, 0.9 BPG; 4 6th Man of the Years (Now Clack of the Year), 2 time All Star, 1 1st Team All-SLN, 1 2nd Team All-SLN1 time SLN Champion

Negative Outcome #1

Kyle Lowry

IRL, we all know Kyle Lowry, the 24th pick of the 2006 Draft. The Thicc PG. Nova's finest, he's tough, he's small, he's a winner (quite the rewrite after the whole LeBronto business). Kyle had a bit of a mixed bag to start his career, going from Memphis to Houston to Toronto. Once arriving in Toronto, Kyle became the player we all know. He'd win the 2019 NBA Title, go to 6 All Star Games, and make 3rd Team All NBA. SLN Kyle...not as fortunate. Avu (RIP) would take Kyle 3rd overall for the Detroit Pistons before quitting on the franchise shortly thereafter. BOOOO AVU!!! His career started with underwhelming efficiency and defense before morphing into a giant handles problems. TC was never overly kind to Kyle who has generally never been able to be a starting PG in SLN outside of one season with the tanking Spurs. Now just a whatever backup, Kyle will bounce around from team to team but never enjoy any meaningful success.
NBA Avgs: 14.3 PPG, 4.3 RPG, 6.2 APG, 1.3 SPG, 2.3 TOV
SLN Avgs: 13.9 PPG, 4.2 RPG, 6.4 APG, 1.2 SPG, 2.3 TOV
P.S. Holy shit @ashes. You straight up remade Kyle Lowry. I'm pretty stunned right now, maybe this isn't a negative outcome? Props to you simgod. Kyle got a supercamp...and Ashes hit the nail on the head. Is ratings inflation the greatest conspiracy/disinformation campaign of our time?

Negative Outcome #2

Marc Gasol

Marc Gasol was a real life defensive force for the Grit'n'Grind Grizzlies. He racked up some accolades with 3 All Star appearances, 1 NBA 1st Team, 1 NBA 2nd Team, and a DPOY. Formerly nicknamed "The Big Burrito" growing up (true story?), Marc shredded the baby fat in the pic above to become one of the best centers in the league during the 2010s. Didn't quite happen for SLN Marc however. A 5th overall pick for the Portland Trail Blazers who has been passed around a ton of times even on an outrageous 6 year contract at the age of 31. Marc was given plenty of opportunity throughout his career but just could never really make it work as a legit starter. He ended up tank commanding for a few seasons before finding his way to Cleveland to be "my 4th big". Not quite the return Quady expected when taking Marc 5th overall.
NBA Avgs: 14.0 PPG, 7.4 RPG, 3.4 APG, 1.4 BPG
SLN Avgs: 10.4 PPG, 9.0 RPG, 2.0 APG, 1.3 BPG

Negative Outcome #3

DeMar DeRozan

Middy gawd. DeMar is a very unique scorer known for dominating the mid-range. In his career, he's gotten lots of buckets and generally led underperforming teams. Something about DeMar as your #1 or #2 guy just isn't going to get you to the promised land. However, he's been able to parlay his scoring prowess into 6 All Star teams and 3 All NBA teams. One could say that real life DeRozan is worth his SLN contract. The other DeRozan though...not so much thus far. Bobby acquired DeMar in a draft day trade and hoped to build the SLN Chicago Bulls (Maybe we should've seen this coming). DeMar just hasn't really panned out. His ratings look fine but his volume has been weirdly low historically. Not a terrible player but not what anyone hoped DeMar would become. Maybe he can get some great late career TCs.
NBA Avgs: 24.0 PPG, 4.3 RPG, 5.3 APG
SLN Avgs: 14.9 PPG, 5.3 RPG, 2.3 APG

Negative Outcome #4

John Wall

1st overall pick by the Washington Wizards out of Kentucky. John Wall had a career that burned very bright and went out rather quickly. He was a terror in transition using blinding speed to attack the rim. Perhaps a bit high turnover, but Wall combined with Brad Beal, Otto Porter, and the Polish Hammer to make Wizards basketball fun during the 2010s. They could never quite get over the hump, but Wall become a 5 time All Star and made the 2017 3rd Team All NBA. SLN John Wall was drafted 4th by Scoops who unfortunately hasn't gotten the best TCs from his highly drafted PGs. A risky proposition as Wall looked high turnover from the start but loaded with potential. Wall never quite developed before getting usurped by Damian Lillard and traded to Seattle. Similar to real life Wall, he's been highly compensated compared to his production. Nick is getting some later stage good life out of Wall, and he could eventually make his way off of this list. Maybe he's just a balanced or inside SG? I'd love to try different stuff with him as I'm sure others would but it's hard with that contract.
NBA Avgs: 18.7 PPG, 4.2 RPG, 8.9 APG, 1.6 SPG, 3.7 TOV, 43.0% FG%
SLN Avgs: 13.6 PPG, 4.6 RPG, 6.5 APG, 1.6 SPG, 2.9 TOV, 42.7% FG%
P.S. Damn @ashes you sort of have done it again

Negative Outcome #5

Danilo Gallinari

I feel like Danilo was my first SLN bust I remember seeing. He just had the absolute worst TC luck and basically didn't develop unfortunately for Clint. Real life Danilo started off with a ton of promise in New York becoming one of the centerpieces in the deal to acquire Carmelo Anthony. He would proceed to be productive in Denver before bouncing around a bit later in his career while beset by injuries. SLN Gallo had it even worse, he was just never good. There's not much to say, he's a minimum guy that sucks. He has played more than 2 games once in the last 4 seasons.
NBA Avgs: 14.9 PPG, 4.7 RPG, 1.9 APG
SLN Avgs: 4.4 PPG, 2.6 RPG, 0.7 APG

Positive Outcome #3

Terrell Brandon

2-time real life All Star Terrell Brandon was a perfectly fine NBA player. He had his moments with the TWolves and faded away into obscurity. SLN TB was an absolute flamethrower and our version of Stephen Curry. He's more Steph than actual Steph. To quote the historians: "The most proficient scoring talent to retire from the league to date, this man can be described, simply put, “as deadly as his name sake”. During his 6 year peak he averaged 30.9 PPG across three different franchises, making a playoff run with each one of them. He scored a career high of 64 points, and He became a consistenly low TO main PG. A tremendous player....Regardless of TB's insane scoring (27.8ppg on 47/40/88) and Stock - TO neutral lifestyle, this man was a continual playoff presence and cemented himself as the ultimate scoring PG and ideal standard. Peak season was .48/.43/.91 at 31ppg with 2.5-2.0 Stonks."
NBA Avgs: 13.8 PPG, 3.0 RPG, 6.1 APG, 1.5 3's/g at 35.5% 3FG%
SLN Avgs: 27.9 PPG, 4.7 RPG, 7.2 APG, 5.5 3's/g at 40.4% 3FG%; 4 time All Star, 2 time All SLN 2nd Team, 2 time All SLN 3rd Team

Positive Outcome #4

DeSagana Diop

An 8th overall pick that never topped 2.9 PPG or 18.6 MPG. It's not exactly a storybook NBA career. A journeyman that played for 4 NBA teams in pretty insignificant roles. SLN, tho...Let me tell you about Lasagna Plop, the Prince of Seattle. The literal definition of a Big Butt (ask Merriam or Webster!). He was an OG swamper before getting shipped to eat Dungeness Crab and listen to Pearl Jam. Diop exemplified an archetype the 06 and its disciples have been chasing for 20 seasons. A surefire first ballot SLN HOFer that never shoots but blocks all the shots and boards. A one man wrecking crew for a defense. Diop teamed up with Dirk on his way to 3 SLN championships! He's never won any awards except for in our hearts.
NBA Avgs: 2.0 PPG, 3.7 RPG, 0.4 SPG, 1.0 BPG
SLN Avgs: 3.2 PPG, 10.9 RPG, 0.6 SPG, 2.6 BPG; 3 time SLN Champion

Positive Outcome #5

Jeffrey McInnis

A journeyman PG in the NBA that was never particularly good. He had a nice 11 year career and started the majority of his games with little noteworthy statistics. In SLN, Jeff McInnis was Gary "The Glove" Payton. Arguably, he was an even better defender than that. He could've been nicknamed Off Night for how he made opposing PGs and SGs feel. Once again, I turn the gushing over Jeff McInnis to the illustrious Mantypas!

"Though he never reached the mountaintop, this former NDL king is one of the best defenders that our virtual land has ever seen. Fun Jeff McInnis stat, in all 11 of his seasons, he made an All Defensive team.

He began his journey after the NDL with the Celtics, where he burst on the seen right away, averaging 20.6 PPG on about 45% shooting, and was already a godly defender, averaging 2.1 SPG and 1.3 BPG his "rookie" season. He played with the Celtics for 4 more seasons, and made his first all star game. He was traded to the Mavericks and where he made an all NBA third team (and obviously an all D team). He then went to the suns, where he averaged a career high in PPG at 25 points and made his second all star game. He bounced around the league, with stints with the Kings (2 years), Sonics (partial year), Warriors (super short time), Cavs (1 year- go cavs), and Raptors (1 year), doing the same thing, playing D....This man left the cookie jar empty and loved his stuffing.

The thing that is the coolest with Mr Jeffrey McInnis is unlike many HOFERs the SLN has, this guy had no remarkable career IRL. In fact, he was a complete poopy for his career, with a couple of ok seasons that crazy 01-02 clippers team. Seriously, look at it.

https://www.basketball-reference.com/pl ... nje01.html

SLN can alter reality, and thats what we are all here for, to play in our fairy tale land and make anyone into a superstar.
Jeff McInnis - thank you for making us all dreamers again and inspiring more former NDL studs to continue their virtual basketball success!"

Bravo Mantypas, very well written.
NBA Avgs: 9.4 PPG, 2.0 RPG, 4.4 APG, 0.6 SPG, 0.1 BPG
SLN Avgs: 20.2 PPG, 5.6 RPG, 7.5 APG, 2.1 SPG, 1.6 BPG; 11 time All Defensive Team, 2 time All Star, 1 time 3rd Team All-SLN

[Joe]

The Kyle lowry stats thing is pretty nuts


Also how is that not a picture of Gerald Wallace

[jwoo]

One of my greatest regrets will always be not hitting send on my Kris Clack scouting report the day before that draft

[SoNicks]

Outrageous 6yr contract … bruh the only playable bigs who aren’t rookies are making twice his amount. Who gives a fuck how long it is it’s an eternal MLE. Also didn’t you sign bogut to the worst contract in SLN?

[SoNicks]

God I miss Plop! Great article Merv !!!

[SoNicks]

One of my greatest regrets will always be not hitting send on my Kris Clack scouting report the day before that draft

I have a draft day offer from Jessie that would’ve been the pick that took Elton brand for what turned into Rip Hamilton and Kris Clack… I also scouted clack

[SoNicks]

Totally forgot I hat Mcinnis at one time lol. Again great read Mervgic!

[Merv]

Outrageous 6yr contract … bruh the only playable bigs who aren’t rookies are making twice his amount. Who gives a fuck how long it is it’s an eternal MLE. Also didn’t you sign bogut to the worst contract in SLN?

I never signed Bogut to a contract. Miss me with your slander Hulk!

[tonger]

I remember one of my first thoughts when I joined the league was “who the F is Kris clack”

[quady]

Add Gasol's shooting splits to really make it hurt

NBA: 48/36/76
SLN: 41/21/76

Was very happy to ship him off in the Shawn Marion and Caron Butler deal