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It's 2016, let's go to the movies and watch some SEQUELS, Part 2

Posted: July 17th, 2024, 4:03 pm
by Josh
It's 2016, let's go to the movies and watch some SEQUELS, the SEQUEL - this time with a REMAKE and a PREQUEL (that is also a sequel)

Presenting the much little anticipated follow up to 2011's article.

This time with some prequels to add to the mix. We are still deep in the era of movie franchise.

I have imported a character to SLN from each of the top 5 worldwide box office hits of 2016.

  • Captain America: Civil War $1.15bn (35% domestic)
    ○ Spiderman - if I remember correctly this is his first appearance in MCU?
    ○ Age/Height/Weight/Position: 17 / 5'10" / 170 lbs / SG
    ○ Inside: C+. Quick, slippery, can jump high. Too weak to get to the basket
    ○ Outside: B+. Sniper with the ejaculate webs. Will shoot at will, especially in the mid range
    ○ Handles: A+. Weirdly good grip strength. Spidey sense gives him warning against steal attempts.
    ○ Defense: B-. Can be overpowered
    ○ Rebounding: C-. Undersized for position
    ○ Potential: A
    ○ Scouting report: Newcomer making a big splash and seems to be chock full of potential. Usefulness is unknown today.
    ○ Stipulation: Still in high school so may miss some away games. Wants to be a starter immediately
  • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story $1.05bn (50% domestic)
    ○ Cassian Andor - solid movie character but great tv show
    ○ Age/Height/Weight/Position: 30 / 5'9" / 175 lbs / PG
    ○ Inside: B+. Sneaky moves on the inside (of imperial facilities)
    ○ Outside: B-. Coordinated enough to sink some jumpers
    ○ Handles: B. He'll get the death star codes to the right place
    ○ Defense: A-. Not known for positional D but the whole point of his character is getting steals I think.
    ○ Rebounding: D+. Nothing to note here
    ○ Potential: B
    ○ Scouting report: Will make his money by stealing the ball a couple times a game.
    ○ Stipulation: Will die a fiery death after winning a championship.
  • Finding Dory $1.03bn (47% domestic)
    ○ Crush - a sea turtle and the only character that could survive on land
    ○ Age/Height/Weight/Position: 60 years / 3' / 80 lbs / PF
    ○ Inside: D. Can't move around well. No skills near the basket.
    ○ Outside: F. Not a shooter
    ○ Handles: A. Takes care of his valuables (his small friends)
    ○ Defense: D.
    ○ Rebounding: C+. If the ball bounces to him, he's kinda hard to move
    ○ Potential: F
    ○ Scouting report: Seems to be pretty useless on a basketball court
    ○ Stipulation: Cool guy, increases team's potential +2 every season. But he is also a stoner and shares his weed, reducing everyone's stamina -5.
  • Zootopia (unicorn non-franchise movie) $1.02bn (33% domestic)
    ○ Flash Slothmore
    ○ Age/Height/Weight/Position: 40 / 3' / 40 lbs / SG
    ○ Inside: C. Not an athlete. Works at a DMV and spends his entire day inside. Famously very slow.
    ○ Outside: A+. Great shot (hidden talent)
    ○ Handles: C. Capable of passing, but holds onto the ball too long.
    ○ Defense: F. Too slow, too weak
    ○ Rebounding: F. See above
    ○ Potential: A
    ○ Scouting report: One trick pony. Perfect shooting motion, just can't get any space to release the ball.
    ○ Stipulation: Must play in a Slow, Outside offense. Cannot be an option

  • The Jungle Book $967mm (38% domestic)
    ○ Baloo
    ○ Age/Height/Weight/Position: 15 / 7' on hind legs / 800 lbs / PF
    ○ Inside: A-. Overpowering near the basket. No jumping.
    ○ Outside: D. Lives in the paint.
    ○ Handles: B+. Very aloof. Great vision, low handles type.
    ○ Defense: B+. Protective by nature. Vicious in the post.
    ○ Rebounding: C+. Too laid back, lazy boarder
    ○ Potential: A
    ○ Scouting report: Baloo looks ready for big time. Looks to be a generational player. Bear Down
    ○ Stipulation: Provides +5 potential to youngest teammate each offseason (he has a big heart and is very good to Mowgli)

It's 2016, let's go to the movies and watch some SEQUELS, Part 2

Posted: July 17th, 2024, 5:42 pm
by Clinton
How time flies, it feels like only last year it was 2005 and Anakin Skywalker was bitching in lava about how angwy he was at Obi Wan.

How do we feel about live action disney movies in this league?

It's 2016, let's go to the movies and watch some SEQUELS, Part 2

Posted: July 18th, 2024, 1:27 am
by Merv
I feel like the live action movies are fine but am frustrated that remaking an already great film in CGI/Live Action for $200m is what studios think is a good idea now. Bring back movies like Enemy of the State, Seven, Shawshank. 90s had some incredible films

It's 2016, let's go to the movies and watch some SEQUELS, Part 2

Posted: July 18th, 2024, 7:08 am
by Josh
Jungle book was a good movie. Think it was the first of the bunch

It's 2016, let's go to the movies and watch some SEQUELS, Part 2

Posted: July 18th, 2024, 7:51 am
by heimer
Merv wrote: July 18th, 2024, 1:27 am I feel like the live action movies are fine but am frustrated that remaking an already great film in CGI/Live Action for $200m is what studios think is a good idea now. Bring back movies like Enemy of the State, Seven, Shawshank. 90s had some incredible films
hollywood please leave these great films alone

It's 2016, let's go to the movies and watch some SEQUELS, Part 2

Posted: July 18th, 2024, 9:09 am
by SWAMP STEVEN
“Stipulation: Will die a fiery death after winning a championship“

It's 2016, let's go to the movies and watch some SEQUELS, Part 2

Posted: July 24th, 2024, 12:10 pm
by pacers
these stips are fantastic

It's 2016, let's go to the movies and watch some SEQUELS, Part 2

Posted: August 11th, 2024, 5:19 pm
by Joe
Grade: 400RP