Tom Gugliotta changes number to 93 (Author - Tyler)
Posted: January 16th, 2024, 2:39 pm
BREAKING:
3rd team all-NBA 27-year-old 6'10 Italian warlock Tom "The Butcher" Gugliotta will be changing his number to 93 representing the number of times foolish GM after foolish GM drafted someone not named Tom Gugliotta in the 1996 Creation Draft.
After a tough practice in Phoenix two days ago, Googs put NBA Defensive Player of the Year, Dikembe Mutombo, on an absolute poster with no regard for human life in a friendly game of 1 on 1. After hanging on the rim for an egregious amount of time, The Butcher clinched his legs like an anaconda, putting the 7'2 Center in a triangle choke. The big friendly giant, Matt Geiger, rushed to break the two up and settle the Italian down. Gugliotta dismissed Geiger entirely, proceeded to walk directly towards the General Manager's, Tyler TheRealTpain, office and while staring at the door, ripped out his upper right maxillary tooth. As the entire Suns team stared in awe, Tom carved out the number "3" in TPain's office door with said tooth.
"We get it bro, you made 3rd team all-league man... you don't need to rip your tooth out and carve it on my door!" - screams TPain
"The 3 does not stand for the all-league team I made, you fool. It represents how many picks you had and didn't choose me. Amar'e was right after all. You are a fucking bitch" Googs replied quietly.
Mutombo bowed in respect for Googs and his act of savagery. Googs bowed back and shouted, "It's the motherfucking 1996 playoffs, boys!!!"
***Cuts to black***
***Teammates go fucking ape shit***
***Then lose to the Mavs at home***
3rd team all-NBA 27-year-old 6'10 Italian warlock Tom "The Butcher" Gugliotta will be changing his number to 93 representing the number of times foolish GM after foolish GM drafted someone not named Tom Gugliotta in the 1996 Creation Draft.
After a tough practice in Phoenix two days ago, Googs put NBA Defensive Player of the Year, Dikembe Mutombo, on an absolute poster with no regard for human life in a friendly game of 1 on 1. After hanging on the rim for an egregious amount of time, The Butcher clinched his legs like an anaconda, putting the 7'2 Center in a triangle choke. The big friendly giant, Matt Geiger, rushed to break the two up and settle the Italian down. Gugliotta dismissed Geiger entirely, proceeded to walk directly towards the General Manager's, Tyler TheRealTpain, office and while staring at the door, ripped out his upper right maxillary tooth. As the entire Suns team stared in awe, Tom carved out the number "3" in TPain's office door with said tooth.
"We get it bro, you made 3rd team all-league man... you don't need to rip your tooth out and carve it on my door!" - screams TPain
"The 3 does not stand for the all-league team I made, you fool. It represents how many picks you had and didn't choose me. Amar'e was right after all. You are a fucking bitch" Googs replied quietly.
Mutombo bowed in respect for Googs and his act of savagery. Googs bowed back and shouted, "It's the motherfucking 1996 playoffs, boys!!!"
***Cuts to black***
***Teammates go fucking ape shit***
***Then lose to the Mavs at home***