At Least it cant get any worse, right? (Author - Nick)
Posted: January 16th, 2024, 2:41 pm
Being a trash collector, you hear TONS of questions around the block about our Sonics. Like, “do you think they enjoy being the worst GM in the league?” “Are they ashamed that as a designated tanker you couldnt get a top 3 Pick OR be a top team in talent development” “what would your dad say if we told him you couldnt even win 20 games?” “do you play Divinity Original Sins 2 a lot?” “hows your golf game?” see PSS. The funny thing is that at the end of each of those conversations, every single person said that “At least it cant get any worse!” EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
On behalf of all Seattle SuperSonics fans worldwide, we here at Seattle Waste and Disposal are proud to announce that YES! It can get worse! Its about to get WAY fucking worse. Its gonna get so bad that Ashes will allow me to sell the franchise and move it to another city as Seattle fans will surely burn our stadium down in protest. Its going to get so bad, that we are excited to now hype our NDL team, the Oklahoma City Blue, who are prime front runners for the NDL championship. The Suns of the NDL, if you will. As such, we offer every registered Seattle SuperSonics fan a free coupon for a free bag of peanuts on your flight down from Seattle to see the Blue! The OK Blue are touting 4 NBA caliber starters, Peja, Samaki, Sasha, and (Some center guy we just drafted insert name here). Sasha and Peja are good for 20ppg in the NBA, together in the NDL they may combine for 70 a night. We expect an award studded group here in Oklahoma, and a ring to boot. First NDL champions!
The Sonics made a surprising move to not fire last years coach, or better yet selling the fucking team after last years performance, but management states that “its all apart of the development and rebuilding process. Trust the Process”. We’ll after the most impressive tank in SNL history, attaining 7 first round picks, and a future HOF pg under 20, everything was looking up for the Thunder Sonics. But after Denver made moves that made our haul look frankly meager, and one questionable Ashes simulated draft odds later, the Sonics plan crumbled like pound cake on a bus full of virgins. Missing out on Timmy Duncan “deez nutz” and Tmac hurt ownership more than many know, but to add insult to injury, their 4th pick, Peja, whose first name is also Predrag, demanded to be sent to their minor league team for two full seasons, oddly enough. Perhaps the championship experience in the NDL will carry over to the league when he makes the jump in two years. After Peja declared, Sasha, Samaki, and the other guy soon requested to be sent down themselves, guting the Sonics 1997-1998 roster, and devastating ownership and fans alike.
With the Sonics gutted of all talent, itll be a miracle if Marbury signs his supermax offer in a few years for how dirty they are doing him. This team might lose more games than last year, an impressive feat nonetheless, but at what cost. They wont win the lotto odds next year, even though this team is BUILT for Dirk Nowitzki, as they already rep players from Argentina, Montenegro, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina. They might as well add a German dude to their passport stamps.
The one shining light of the offseason came in the form of a blessing from the FA gods. Pablo “Sanchez” Prigioni signed a lucrative 6yr, 38.5mm contract that quickly became team friendly following his monster TC. This former BYS Phenom will electrify fans for years to come. WIth Pablo, Peja, and Stephon all taking major strides in training camp, and the prospect of getting fucked by the odds gods once more, the fans at least have a glimpse of what might happen when ownership puts a team together.
Trust the Process.
PS Seattle is happy to announce a sponsorship deal with the online bookstore company, Amazon. A local homegrown Washington company with room to grow!
PSS - 1. i hate being the worst but at least they'll remember me i suppose. No one notices the people in the middle of the pack if you ask me.
2. Yah im pretty ashamed i guess thanks. Idk, what do you want from me bro”
3. He would actually be pretty disappointed with the whole boondoggle but as i'm apparently a grown man i think, hed resign to his feelings that im too far gone to save anyways.
4. Honestly not enough no, my current campaign kinda hit another lul. If you know any nerds who play video games lmk
5. Started the season as a 17, now im a 9. I think im more disappointed now than this time last year honestly
On behalf of all Seattle SuperSonics fans worldwide, we here at Seattle Waste and Disposal are proud to announce that YES! It can get worse! Its about to get WAY fucking worse. Its gonna get so bad that Ashes will allow me to sell the franchise and move it to another city as Seattle fans will surely burn our stadium down in protest. Its going to get so bad, that we are excited to now hype our NDL team, the Oklahoma City Blue, who are prime front runners for the NDL championship. The Suns of the NDL, if you will. As such, we offer every registered Seattle SuperSonics fan a free coupon for a free bag of peanuts on your flight down from Seattle to see the Blue! The OK Blue are touting 4 NBA caliber starters, Peja, Samaki, Sasha, and (Some center guy we just drafted insert name here). Sasha and Peja are good for 20ppg in the NBA, together in the NDL they may combine for 70 a night. We expect an award studded group here in Oklahoma, and a ring to boot. First NDL champions!
The Sonics made a surprising move to not fire last years coach, or better yet selling the fucking team after last years performance, but management states that “its all apart of the development and rebuilding process. Trust the Process”. We’ll after the most impressive tank in SNL history, attaining 7 first round picks, and a future HOF pg under 20, everything was looking up for the Thunder Sonics. But after Denver made moves that made our haul look frankly meager, and one questionable Ashes simulated draft odds later, the Sonics plan crumbled like pound cake on a bus full of virgins. Missing out on Timmy Duncan “deez nutz” and Tmac hurt ownership more than many know, but to add insult to injury, their 4th pick, Peja, whose first name is also Predrag, demanded to be sent to their minor league team for two full seasons, oddly enough. Perhaps the championship experience in the NDL will carry over to the league when he makes the jump in two years. After Peja declared, Sasha, Samaki, and the other guy soon requested to be sent down themselves, guting the Sonics 1997-1998 roster, and devastating ownership and fans alike.
With the Sonics gutted of all talent, itll be a miracle if Marbury signs his supermax offer in a few years for how dirty they are doing him. This team might lose more games than last year, an impressive feat nonetheless, but at what cost. They wont win the lotto odds next year, even though this team is BUILT for Dirk Nowitzki, as they already rep players from Argentina, Montenegro, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina. They might as well add a German dude to their passport stamps.
The one shining light of the offseason came in the form of a blessing from the FA gods. Pablo “Sanchez” Prigioni signed a lucrative 6yr, 38.5mm contract that quickly became team friendly following his monster TC. This former BYS Phenom will electrify fans for years to come. WIth Pablo, Peja, and Stephon all taking major strides in training camp, and the prospect of getting fucked by the odds gods once more, the fans at least have a glimpse of what might happen when ownership puts a team together.
Trust the Process.
PS Seattle is happy to announce a sponsorship deal with the online bookstore company, Amazon. A local homegrown Washington company with room to grow!
PSS - 1. i hate being the worst but at least they'll remember me i suppose. No one notices the people in the middle of the pack if you ask me.
2. Yah im pretty ashamed i guess thanks. Idk, what do you want from me bro”
3. He would actually be pretty disappointed with the whole boondoggle but as i'm apparently a grown man i think, hed resign to his feelings that im too far gone to save anyways.
4. Honestly not enough no, my current campaign kinda hit another lul. If you know any nerds who play video games lmk
5. Started the season as a 17, now im a 9. I think im more disappointed now than this time last year honestly