A Day in the Life of Kyrie Irving: Vaccine-Free Edition
-
GX.
- General Manager
- Posts: 1015
- Joined: February 19th, 2024, 10:07 am
- Status: Just Vibin' and Thrivin'
A Day in the Life of Kyrie Irving: Vaccine-Free Edition
7:00 AM – Mystic Awakening
Kyrie wakes up slowly, stretching out on his Egyptian cotton sheets infused with lavender and sage oils.
His room is dimly lit by the faint glow of a Himalayan salt lamp. A Tibetan singing bowl resonates as part of his custom alarm system. Kyrie murmurs:
"Another day to defy the matrix."
Sliding out of bed, he steps onto his grounding mat ("shoes are a tool of oppression") and starts his morning mantra:
"I am energy. I am truth. I am… misunderstood."
7:30 AM – Breakfast, but Make It Cosmic
In his state-of-the-art kitchen, Kyrie meticulously prepares his breakfast smoothie: kale, spirulina, moon-dried turmeric, unpasteurized goat milk, and a sprinkle of "anti-government crystal powder" from a mason jar labeled "Do Not Question." He takes a sip, then pauses mid-gulp.
"I can feel the fluoride leaving my body."
Satisfied, Kyrie tweets:
"Think beyond what they teach you. If you’re eating pancakes and eggs for breakfast, you’re still asleep."
8:15 AM – Philosophical Check-In with PG
Sitting cross-legged on his meditation cushion, Kyrie FaceTimes Paul George,
PG: "What’s good, man? You coming to practice today?"
Kyrie: "Nah, my guy, the ancestors are calling me to a higher purpose."
PG: "What purpose?"
Kyrie: "Building a community garden to grow vegetables untouched by Big Agriculture. Basketball is temporary. The soil is eternal."
George sighs as Kyrie hangs up abruptly, muttering, "He’ll understand eventually."
9:00 AM – Mirror Therapy
Kyrie stares at his reflection in the mirror for exactly 17 minutes. He speaks softly but firmly:
"Who am I? Who are you? What gives you the right to tell me what’s real?"
He spins in a circle three times, claps his hands, and announces to his empty room:
"I am one with the universe. The universe is Kyrie."
10:00 AM – Chakra Realignment
Kyrie pulls up to a holistic healer’s studio in Los Angelos, parking his electric car powered by "sustainable vibes." Inside, the healer greets him:
Healer: "Your aura seems heavy today, Kyrie."
Kyrie: "Yeah, it’s the media. They’re clogging my throat chakra."
An hour later, after chanting affirmations and holding a giant quartz crystal above his head, Kyrie emerges looking refreshed.
"The balance is restored," he whispers. He tips the healer with a signed basketball and a rare first-edition copy of The Alchemist.
11:30 AM – Flat-Earth Bookstore Run
At his favorite independent bookstore, Kyrie stocks up on some essential reading materials:
"The Hidden History of Flat Earth"
"Vaccines and Vibrations: How to Escape the 5G Trap"
"Tetrahedrons: Why We’ve Been Lied to About Spheres"
He tells the cashier:
"These books are the real education. Schools only teach compliance."
1:00 PM – Zoom Practice (Or Attempted)
Kyrie logs onto the team’s Zoom meeting late, holding a cup of herbal tea labeled "Immune Freedom Blend." Coach Ari Gold notices
Gold: "Kyrie, can we talk about your fucking status for next game?"
Kyrie: "Coach, the real question is, why are we playing basketball under fluorescent lights? That’s unnatural."
Hayward: "Bro, just take the damn vaccine."
Kyrie disconnects.
3:00 PM – Flat-Earth Seminar
In his backyard, Kyrie joins a live Zoom seminar with the Flat Earth Society, where he’s a guest speaker. He grabs the mic and drops gems like:
"What if gravity is just our minds being pulled by fear? And vaccines? They’re just tools of compliance."
The audience erupts in applause, one participant yelling, "Preach, Brother Kyrie!"
5:30 PM – Free Thinker’s Think Tank
By evening, Kyrie has gathered his "Think Tank of Free Thinkers" in his backyard. The group, dressed in hemp robes and wearing handcrafted jewelry, debates the week’s hottest conspiracy theories.
Member 1: "So what’s our stance on booster shots?"
Kyrie: "Booster? That’s just code for 'control.'"
They conclude the session by brainstorming video ideas for their YouTube channel, "Hoopers Against Herd Immunity."
8:00 PM – "Ley Line Basketball" Pitch
Kyrie texts Gordan Hayward:
"Big homie, what if we started a new league where we play on ancient ley lines to harness the Earth’s true power?"
Hayward responds with a single emoji:
. Kyrie interprets it as "he’s thinking about it."
10:00 PM – Manifestation Ritual
Kyrie dims the lights, lights 12 candles in a sacred circle, and chants:
"Pfizer free, let me be. Moderna gone, I am strong."
He spends the next hour attempting to astral project into a parallel universe where vaccines don’t exist.
12:00 AM – Tin Foil Dreams
Kyrie slides into bed, wearing a tin-foil hat as protection from "vaccine mind waves." He whispers to himself:
"Tomorrow, they’ll call me crazy. But one day, they’ll call me right."
And with that, he drifts off to sleep, dreaming of tetrahedron basketballs and a vaccine-free utopia
Kyrie wakes up slowly, stretching out on his Egyptian cotton sheets infused with lavender and sage oils.
His room is dimly lit by the faint glow of a Himalayan salt lamp. A Tibetan singing bowl resonates as part of his custom alarm system. Kyrie murmurs:
"Another day to defy the matrix."
Sliding out of bed, he steps onto his grounding mat ("shoes are a tool of oppression") and starts his morning mantra:
"I am energy. I am truth. I am… misunderstood."
7:30 AM – Breakfast, but Make It Cosmic
In his state-of-the-art kitchen, Kyrie meticulously prepares his breakfast smoothie: kale, spirulina, moon-dried turmeric, unpasteurized goat milk, and a sprinkle of "anti-government crystal powder" from a mason jar labeled "Do Not Question." He takes a sip, then pauses mid-gulp.
"I can feel the fluoride leaving my body."
Satisfied, Kyrie tweets:
"Think beyond what they teach you. If you’re eating pancakes and eggs for breakfast, you’re still asleep."
8:15 AM – Philosophical Check-In with PG
Sitting cross-legged on his meditation cushion, Kyrie FaceTimes Paul George,
PG: "What’s good, man? You coming to practice today?"
Kyrie: "Nah, my guy, the ancestors are calling me to a higher purpose."
PG: "What purpose?"
Kyrie: "Building a community garden to grow vegetables untouched by Big Agriculture. Basketball is temporary. The soil is eternal."
George sighs as Kyrie hangs up abruptly, muttering, "He’ll understand eventually."
9:00 AM – Mirror Therapy
Kyrie stares at his reflection in the mirror for exactly 17 minutes. He speaks softly but firmly:
"Who am I? Who are you? What gives you the right to tell me what’s real?"
He spins in a circle three times, claps his hands, and announces to his empty room:
"I am one with the universe. The universe is Kyrie."
10:00 AM – Chakra Realignment
Kyrie pulls up to a holistic healer’s studio in Los Angelos, parking his electric car powered by "sustainable vibes." Inside, the healer greets him:
Healer: "Your aura seems heavy today, Kyrie."
Kyrie: "Yeah, it’s the media. They’re clogging my throat chakra."
An hour later, after chanting affirmations and holding a giant quartz crystal above his head, Kyrie emerges looking refreshed.
"The balance is restored," he whispers. He tips the healer with a signed basketball and a rare first-edition copy of The Alchemist.
11:30 AM – Flat-Earth Bookstore Run
At his favorite independent bookstore, Kyrie stocks up on some essential reading materials:
"The Hidden History of Flat Earth"
"Vaccines and Vibrations: How to Escape the 5G Trap"
"Tetrahedrons: Why We’ve Been Lied to About Spheres"
He tells the cashier:
"These books are the real education. Schools only teach compliance."
1:00 PM – Zoom Practice (Or Attempted)
Kyrie logs onto the team’s Zoom meeting late, holding a cup of herbal tea labeled "Immune Freedom Blend." Coach Ari Gold notices
Gold: "Kyrie, can we talk about your fucking status for next game?"
Kyrie: "Coach, the real question is, why are we playing basketball under fluorescent lights? That’s unnatural."
Hayward: "Bro, just take the damn vaccine."
Kyrie disconnects.
3:00 PM – Flat-Earth Seminar
In his backyard, Kyrie joins a live Zoom seminar with the Flat Earth Society, where he’s a guest speaker. He grabs the mic and drops gems like:
"What if gravity is just our minds being pulled by fear? And vaccines? They’re just tools of compliance."
The audience erupts in applause, one participant yelling, "Preach, Brother Kyrie!"
5:30 PM – Free Thinker’s Think Tank
By evening, Kyrie has gathered his "Think Tank of Free Thinkers" in his backyard. The group, dressed in hemp robes and wearing handcrafted jewelry, debates the week’s hottest conspiracy theories.
Member 1: "So what’s our stance on booster shots?"
Kyrie: "Booster? That’s just code for 'control.'"
They conclude the session by brainstorming video ideas for their YouTube channel, "Hoopers Against Herd Immunity."
8:00 PM – "Ley Line Basketball" Pitch
Kyrie texts Gordan Hayward:
"Big homie, what if we started a new league where we play on ancient ley lines to harness the Earth’s true power?"
Hayward responds with a single emoji:
. Kyrie interprets it as "he’s thinking about it." 10:00 PM – Manifestation Ritual
Kyrie dims the lights, lights 12 candles in a sacred circle, and chants:
"Pfizer free, let me be. Moderna gone, I am strong."
He spends the next hour attempting to astral project into a parallel universe where vaccines don’t exist.
12:00 AM – Tin Foil Dreams
Kyrie slides into bed, wearing a tin-foil hat as protection from "vaccine mind waves." He whispers to himself:
"Tomorrow, they’ll call me crazy. But one day, they’ll call me right."
And with that, he drifts off to sleep, dreaming of tetrahedron basketballs and a vaccine-free utopia
2020 Bubble Boyz
-
GX.
- General Manager
- Posts: 1015
- Joined: February 19th, 2024, 10:07 am
- Status: Just Vibin' and Thrivin'
If anyone was wondering, and for grading purposes. i did use chat GPT for ideas, the main thing i asked was "what would kyrie do on a day off during covid" with that list i expanded on those ideas and added in my own personal touch and more league specific details. This is more to make people laugh and have some fun about my own shitty situation. Not trying to trick anyone just want to have some fun
2020 Bubble Boyz
More pls. And tell me about these tetrahedrons.
Should be fine, will get graded as normal press releaseGX. wrote: November 29th, 2024, 6:38 pm If anyone was wondering, and for grading purposes. i did use chat GPT for ideas, the main thing i asked was "what would kyrie do on a day off during covid" with that list i expanded on those ideas and added in my own personal touch and more league specific details. This is more to make people laugh and have some fun about my own shitty situation. Not trying to trick anyone just want to have some fun
Celtics ah the balls
Also this is funny I enjoyed lol
Celtics ah the balls
-
SWAMP STEVEN
- General Manager
- Posts: 1080
- Joined: January 5th, 2024, 2:11 pm
Tomorrow, they’ll call me crazy. But one day, they’ll call me right
*DJ DRAMA VOICE* OH YOU HEARD THE RUMORS [GANGSTA GRIZZILLZ] IT’S A MOTHERFUCKIN SWAMPSTORY!
*lighter flick* Never talk to the cops I don’t speak piglatin / I turned the Nets into the motherfuckin Swamp Dragons
*lighter flick* Never talk to the cops I don’t speak piglatin / I turned the Nets into the motherfuckin Swamp Dragons
"shoes are a tool of oppression" lol
BBL Enthusiast
-
- Newest Posts
- Top Active Users
- Newest Users
