Robert Parish
Posted: February 9th, 2024, 9:37 pm
(As a note, we are being generous with HoF credentials for the first 5-10 seasons of the league given that we'll need some time for sim guys to build up meaningful career stat profiles. So in the interim, if a guy retires who was a clear HoF-er in real life, we'll honor him accordingly).
The season's over, the offseason's in full swing, the GMs are back from a bender in Cabo (rumor has it Tyler poisoned Nav's coco loco slushie at Senor Frogs as payback for the Finals defeat) and the whole SLN world has descended on Springfield, MA for the inaugural HoF induction ceremony. We are gathered here in a Holiday Inn conference room 45 mins west of the center of civilization (Worcester Mass) to celebrate a real-life legend and steady SLN vet presence, Robert Parish.
Drafted by the Warriors in 1976 out of unheralded Centenary College in Louisiana, Parish was most known for his long 14-year career with the Celtics. But when you think of that '80 Celtics dynasty, a couple guys come to mind first: Larry Legend's mullet, Kevin McHale's octopus-like post moves, hell even Dennis Johnson's iconic layup to finish off the Pistons after Bird's steal. The unsung hero of that team: the guy they called "The Chief', the sturdy 7 foot center who gobbled up boards, was the paint finisher on all those highlight vids of Bird's crazy ass paces, and was a strong paint enforcer in an era where dirty elbows and clotheslines were the norm, not the exception.
Parish was a 9-time NBA All-Star who averaged 18 points, 12 boards, and 3 stocks per game, playing til he was 43 YEARS OLD (considering Joe Haber broke his tit playing basketball in grad school at the ripe old age of 28, we should all appreciate The Chief's longevity). He was highly efficient, with a 57 TS% and 72% from the FT line, strong numbers for that time period. Known for his unorthodox but effective jump shot form, could Parish have thrived as a stretch 5 in today's modern game? We'll never know, but we do know he won 4 rings total in his career - 3 with the Celtics and 1 more with the Bulls in '97 for good measure at the tail end of his career.
In SLN, Parish managed to be a perfectly fine backup center for a playoff Hawks team despite his age, averaging 7 points, 6 boards, and 2 stocks on reasonably efficient shooting. His F potential was probably an indicator that his retirement was imminent, and sadly we were not able to see what peak Parish could have put up, but I feel confident he could have been a borderline All Star and contributor to upper echelon teams, offering strong defense/rebounding and efficient scoring on relatively low volume, as was his unselfish nature. Salute to the big man!
We'll see you guys out in Springfield next season - could we see shock retirements from top contributors pushing 35 (insert photo of Ewing and Hakeem on the Sonics and Raptors...)? Stay tuned!
The Chief himself!
SLN Stats
ID Name Pos Games MPG PPG RPG APG SPG BPG TPG FG% FT% 3P%
369 Robert Parish C 67 22.0 6.5 6.2 1.5 0.6 1.2 1.2 .464 .727 .000
The season's over, the offseason's in full swing, the GMs are back from a bender in Cabo (rumor has it Tyler poisoned Nav's coco loco slushie at Senor Frogs as payback for the Finals defeat) and the whole SLN world has descended on Springfield, MA for the inaugural HoF induction ceremony. We are gathered here in a Holiday Inn conference room 45 mins west of the center of civilization (Worcester Mass) to celebrate a real-life legend and steady SLN vet presence, Robert Parish.
Drafted by the Warriors in 1976 out of unheralded Centenary College in Louisiana, Parish was most known for his long 14-year career with the Celtics. But when you think of that '80 Celtics dynasty, a couple guys come to mind first: Larry Legend's mullet, Kevin McHale's octopus-like post moves, hell even Dennis Johnson's iconic layup to finish off the Pistons after Bird's steal. The unsung hero of that team: the guy they called "The Chief', the sturdy 7 foot center who gobbled up boards, was the paint finisher on all those highlight vids of Bird's crazy ass paces, and was a strong paint enforcer in an era where dirty elbows and clotheslines were the norm, not the exception.
Parish was a 9-time NBA All-Star who averaged 18 points, 12 boards, and 3 stocks per game, playing til he was 43 YEARS OLD (considering Joe Haber broke his tit playing basketball in grad school at the ripe old age of 28, we should all appreciate The Chief's longevity). He was highly efficient, with a 57 TS% and 72% from the FT line, strong numbers for that time period. Known for his unorthodox but effective jump shot form, could Parish have thrived as a stretch 5 in today's modern game? We'll never know, but we do know he won 4 rings total in his career - 3 with the Celtics and 1 more with the Bulls in '97 for good measure at the tail end of his career.
In SLN, Parish managed to be a perfectly fine backup center for a playoff Hawks team despite his age, averaging 7 points, 6 boards, and 2 stocks on reasonably efficient shooting. His F potential was probably an indicator that his retirement was imminent, and sadly we were not able to see what peak Parish could have put up, but I feel confident he could have been a borderline All Star and contributor to upper echelon teams, offering strong defense/rebounding and efficient scoring on relatively low volume, as was his unselfish nature. Salute to the big man!
We'll see you guys out in Springfield next season - could we see shock retirements from top contributors pushing 35 (insert photo of Ewing and Hakeem on the Sonics and Raptors...)? Stay tuned!
The Chief himself!
SLN Stats
ID Name Pos Games MPG PPG RPG APG SPG BPG TPG FG% FT% 3P%
369 Robert Parish C 67 22.0 6.5 6.2 1.5 0.6 1.2 1.2 .464 .727 .000