QUADSQUAD SWAMP & A — Charles Bassey
Posted: January 21st, 2025, 6:32 pm
Interview conducted using AI. The Iverson Company is deep in the red, you can kinda get him on any freelance assignment right now. Thomas Malthus is my bitch, for real.
Edited and condensed for way less clarity.
What’s your name, Loofah Brotha #2?
Charles Bassey, bka Lagos Batman, bka ROLL THAT WEED ON IT THAT’S A BASSTRAY.
What’s the best thing about being a rookie with these Nets?
They let me use as many towels as I want.
What’s been the biggest challenge?
Being cognizant of the towel thing. I really need to lock in and always remember that they can’t make a stink about how many towels I go through.
How many towels are we talking, here?
Dozens, nay, bakers dozens. Most folks didn’t see this on Rapid Draft: Live, but I wrapped myself like a mummy in all the towels they had. A producer had to go out and get MORE towels. It was like that episode of Cheers.
Was there a towel episode on Cheers?
I’m not here to talk about the past, Allen. I’m here to talk about the boards.
Oh…right? Right. The front office brought you in to dominate the boards.
Like hell. I’m posting INCESSANTLY. I use different avatars and make a ton of really mean-spirited memes. Sometimes I just spam the boards with broken links, and report accounts that have a particularly negative energy.
It sounds like you’re the negative one here. And that’s not what I meant. We’re talking about cleaning the glass.
After you spit all over the screen because you posted so emphatically. Boom Shaka Laka!
Rebounding, Charles.
No thank you. I like kinda just stewing and sulking about the breakup with Gwennifer. The trainers are nicer to me when I’m sad.
This is…the worst interview I’ve ever been a part of. I practiced for this!
Brown Larry was right about you, man.
I’m not engaging. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Playing basketball, duh.
Favorite city to play in?
Dallas. I take my Hoffy with sugar and cream, if you know what I meam.
Which SATC character are you within the QuadSquad?
Roger Sterling when he wanted to pee on Carrie Bradshaw.
Describe Zion Williamson in one word.
Basketball.
Edited and condensed for way less clarity.
What’s your name, Loofah Brotha #2?
Charles Bassey, bka Lagos Batman, bka ROLL THAT WEED ON IT THAT’S A BASSTRAY.
What’s the best thing about being a rookie with these Nets?
They let me use as many towels as I want.
What’s been the biggest challenge?
Being cognizant of the towel thing. I really need to lock in and always remember that they can’t make a stink about how many towels I go through.
How many towels are we talking, here?
Dozens, nay, bakers dozens. Most folks didn’t see this on Rapid Draft: Live, but I wrapped myself like a mummy in all the towels they had. A producer had to go out and get MORE towels. It was like that episode of Cheers.
Was there a towel episode on Cheers?
I’m not here to talk about the past, Allen. I’m here to talk about the boards.
Oh…right? Right. The front office brought you in to dominate the boards.
Like hell. I’m posting INCESSANTLY. I use different avatars and make a ton of really mean-spirited memes. Sometimes I just spam the boards with broken links, and report accounts that have a particularly negative energy.
It sounds like you’re the negative one here. And that’s not what I meant. We’re talking about cleaning the glass.
After you spit all over the screen because you posted so emphatically. Boom Shaka Laka!
Rebounding, Charles.
No thank you. I like kinda just stewing and sulking about the breakup with Gwennifer. The trainers are nicer to me when I’m sad.
This is…the worst interview I’ve ever been a part of. I practiced for this!
Brown Larry was right about you, man.
I’m not engaging. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Playing basketball, duh.
Favorite city to play in?
Dallas. I take my Hoffy with sugar and cream, if you know what I meam.
Which SATC character are you within the QuadSquad?
Roger Sterling when he wanted to pee on Carrie Bradshaw.
Describe Zion Williamson in one word.
Basketball.