The 2022 MERVSPY'S

[Merv]

The 2022 MERVSPY’S

I know this has been something that’s been discussed a bunch but never actually done. So rather than fighting about content grading I figured why not bring some joy with my own original* awards show!!

*Manty developed a lot of the categories and Jordo CLAIMS it’s his idea, have we seen him do anything about it? No. Be better Boredo

Best Season: Who had the best year coming off of their previous year? Turnarounds, jumps, surprises, etc.

The Candidates……
Atlanta Hawks – 72-10, SLN Champions (O/U Prediction, 69)
Known for blitzing their supposed impossible O/U prediction of 69. Set the single season record for wins and defended their championship. RIP Kipke Pleaser

Chicago Bulls – 54-28, (O/U Prediction, 54)
Luka took a huge jump and some nice overall play from a variety of folks. The Lambo still looking sexy as a 6th man.

Utah Jazz – 51-31, (O/U Prediction, None)
Greg Oden is the key to the Jazz success? Apparently not. Team effort from a variety of guys. DJJ is a stock god and FVV is a 2 way monster at the PG spot.

Portland Trail Blazers – 49-33, (O/U Prediction, 30)
What an unreal year for the Cardiac Kids of the Cascades. Ridiculous record in close margin games. +19 on their over under, salute Mr. Quady

► Show Spoiler

Best Article of the Year: Also, Self-explanatory

The Candidates……

Explaining the new lottery system by JWoo
12 Replies, 325 Views…Professor Woo took us through how the flatter lotto creates chaos

Race to the Playoffs – The Final 10 Days by Mantypas
16 Replies, 419 Views…Mantypas brings us a big final 10 days preview before going 3/5 with his predictions

Sim League Showdown: Middle Earth v. Westeros by Boredo
46 Replies, 745 Views…Westeros smokes Middle Earth after some very suspect coaching.

SLN KEYS TO THE SERIES, presented by Toyota by Joe
11 Replies, 239 Views…Toyota did a deep dive on player matchups and named the keys to the series.

► Show Spoiler

Best NDL Name

The Candidates……

Dan Dickau – Greensboro Swarm
Not the real Dan Dickau

Mobius Cardinal – RG Vipers

Billy Joe Haynes – OKC Blue
This dude had to be a private tryout Oklahoman

Calvin Huh – Grand Rapids Gold
Huh?

Xavier Meanwell – Santa Cruz Warriors
At least he means well

Isaac Blood – Salt Lake City Stars

► Show Spoiler

Now for the part of the award show where they name all the crappy awards that happened off camera earlier in the day…probably when Boredo got his MULTIPLE Emmys.

Tankiest Tanker – Scoops’ Miami Heat

Stingiest Defense – Heimer’s Atlanta Hawks

Most High Powered Offense – Nav’s New York Knicks

Apple’s Turnover King – Kipke’s Denver Nuggets

To the good awards again!

Most Improved Player

The Candidates……

Chris Boucher – Boston Celtics
From 5.3/4.8/0.7 with 0.9 SPG and 0.6 BPG on 1.6 TOV slashing .366/.250/.800 to 18.9/8.4/1.5/1.8/1.1/1.6 slashing .466/.378.808. Chris rode an insane TC into a starting role for the Celtics and became the Joe’s most prized possession

Gary Payton II – Atlanta Hawks
From a 6th man role averaging 13.1/5.1/4.5/2.2/0.2/1.4 slashing .477/.451/.867 in 32 MPG to a starting PG role for the 72-10 Hawks record setting, title defending season

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander – Milwaukee Bucks
Grew into his own as a star which led to Donovan Mitchell’s departure after some harsh words in a locker room cuddle-off. SGA jumped to 26.2/5.3/5.9/2.5/0.9/2.7 slashing .475/.454/.881 after a 3rd year season of 16.4/5.0/3.5/1.9/0.8/1.7 on .446/.429/.834

Mitchell Robinson – San Antonio Spurs
Once called the worst player who gets minutes for the Spurs, Mitchell broke out into a top tier big butt. He increased significantly in every single stat category jumping from 7.7 RPG to 11.0 RPG and 1.6 BPG to 2.6 BPG in the important butt stats

Rui Hachimura – Phoenix Suns
I’m just going to list out his 1st two SLN seasons, sheesh, have a TC bro.
Y1: 16.9 MPG 5.9 PPG, 3.9 RPG, 0.5 APG, 0.5 SPG, 0.1 BPG, 0.4 TO, 40.4% FG%, 30.3% 3FG%, 78.1 FT%
Y2: 36.8 MPG, 30.8 PPG, 11.3 RPG, 2.3 APG, 1.0 SPG, 0.4 BPG, 1.2 TO, 47.4% FG%, 43.2% 3FG%, 85.9% FT%

► Show Spoiler

Best Young Player Breakout (less than 10 MPG prior)

Darius Bazley – Detroit Pistons
Averaged 7 and 8 with 2.1 stocks to 1.3 turnovers in just 25 MPG coming off 2 NDL seasons. He then had a terrific TC and is a prime candidate for MIP next year.

Isaac Okoro – Toronto Raptors
From 8 MPG to 22.7/4.4/1.1 on just 1.1 turnovers and a positive stock to turnover differential. A man named Isaac exploded from a 5/27 season from 3 into 128/319. Look forward to seeing what’s next.

Duncan Robinson – San Antonio Spurs
Another NDL sensation, Duncan propelled the Spurs to a way better than expected record showing that Jordo needs to tank better if he’s tanking. Big Dunc came in scoring 19.5 per game on .470/.443/.908 splits with just 1.1 turnovers.

RJ Barrett – Portland Trail Blazers
RJ in the clutch, perhaps the key to the Cardiac Kids of the Cascades. After 2 seasons with a total of 118 minutes, RJ exploded onto the scene dropping 18.9 in 25 mpg off the bench shooting a scorching .500/.444/.836

Sam Hauser – Orlando Magic
C’mon, you knew Sam Hauser was going to be somewhere. The 52nd pick ran some 6th man for the 57 win Magic with great efficiency.

► Show Spoiler

Worst SLNer vs Real Life

The Candidates……

Marc Gasol – FA
He’s generally ass. Never been that useful. Not ideal for a 3x All Start, 2x All NBA, and NBA defensive player of the year.

Derrick White – Miami Heat
From this pre-draft comment, “Might just trade my whole team for Derrick White” to a replacement level player with mediocre ratings. Taken above De’Aaron Fox, what could’ve been! C+/B/C+/B/C, gross

Jaren Jackson Jr. – Dallas Mavericks
Did Hoff kill him or was he always destined to be bad? A few bad TCs have led Jaren to be a non-rebounding, non-shot blocking PF. Not quite the DPOY you’d expect.

Pascal Siakam – Houston Rockets
Fringe All NBA fella in real life. Notorious bad contract and generally unhelpful player with those insane turnovers for Pascal Tank Commander

Brad Beal – Philadelphia 76ers
While he did show some signs of life this year, Brad has generally never been conducive to anything good on the SLN floor. Not the 3rd Team All NBA bucket getter you’d have hoped for.

► Show Spoiler

Best SLNer vs Real Life

Boban Marjanovic – LA Clippers
The man, the meme, the legend.

Greg Oden – Indiana Pacers
Legendary NBA bust crippled by injuries turns into SLN defensive monster leading Utah atop the West for what felt like decades

Yaroslav Korolev – Philadelphia 76ers
From NBA Draft trivia question to Jazz/Pacer curiosity into Raptor stardom. Yaro left an impact on the league and got every ounce of his potential.

Arsalan Kazemi – Chicago Bulls
Another meme but an elite rebounder. How Pankin never played him, I’ll never know. Still sad my FA bid of 1.25 for 4 wasn’t accepted pre-QO. Kazemi goes from no NBA career to a cult hero in SLN.

► Show Spoiler

Last but not least

Meme of the Year: Seems very self-explanatory

The Candidates……

The Jesster on Kemba Walker


Quady on Buddy Hield


Wes on Lotto Tickets

► Show Spoiler

[mantypas/CavsCzar]

fuck yeah, this is awesome Merv!

[Hoff]

WINNERRRRRR

[Matt]

Huh?

[Boredo]

Now for the part of the award show where they name all the crappy awards that happened off camera earlier in the day…probably when Boredo got his MULTIPLE Emmys.

So what if all 3 of my Emmys were awareded during the noon show?

[Boredo]

The Peter Griffin meme literally kills me every time

[quady]

Cmon dog why’d you have to stick Bazley in here as a Piston

[quady]

Also Mobius was robbed

[Merv]

Now for the part of the award show where they name all the crappy awards that happened off camera earlier in the day…probably when Boredo got his MULTIPLE Emmys.

So what if all 3 of my Emmys were awareded during the noon show?

They released the viewership data for that show. It said: Jordo. That’s it

[Joe]

That Wes meme was A+