Sim League Nirvana

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - "Sorry 4 Da Opacity," bka Swampstoryz Vol. 16, failed to properly address our new addition to New Jersey executive management. Folks, meet Nick ... not the one from the Sonics, nor the one from the movies where he's always screaming and contorting his face and sniffing the Declaration of Independence, saying some wild stuff stuff like like OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE BEEEEEEES! Behold: a secret third type of Nick, the best version by far.

He's been one of my closest friends since college (1962, which is obviously not the year we enrolled at Northwestern, but rather, the last four digits of my social security number. I keep forgetting it, and this is a proactive solution I can refer back to. Jeremy says I need to be checking the site more). SwampNick is a real-life Raptors fan and very good at strategy games, fantasy sports, analytical thinking and sniffing any kind of document or charter.

I've recruited Nick to be my left brain, because I just didn't have the capacity to keep up with daily transactions and contract specifics. I've recruited myself to be the right brain, because someone has to photoshop Cooper Flagg salsa dancing with Chris Christie. Together, we will give unprecedented brain to this league.

Welcome Nick here!

This is @SourKittles

Welcome NewNick!!

Bet you guys forgot about Ghost Coach Monty Williams

NetNicks?

uhh can i get brain first ?

Derek has only reaped benefits from the Kyrie Irving stip besides 1 short term absence… and he’s been awfully quiet this season too

Good evening,

Appreciate the introduction, Swamp Steven. I’m thrilled to be here, and feel honored to be part of the illustrious jwoo coaching tree. For the past year or so, the SLN Raptors owner helped me relive my (Torontonian) childhood through epic tales of this league. I always wanted Kevin Garnett…

But in all seriousness, I’m excited for this new era of New Jersey basketball. While this franchise has hit the skids in recent years, it will not be this way for long. Aaron Gordon is playing the best basketball of his career. Stephon Castle has effortlessly run the point. I’m here to help Swamp Steven find an identity & lay the foundation for a consistent SLN contender.

I’ve heard the one rule is that I will be no better than the second-best Nick. So I wanted my user name to reflect our team outlook: develop and retain glue guys in the spirit of all-time underrated Net Kerry Kittles. Here’s to aligning with my co-owner & to emptying the piggy bank so Dereck Lively is a long-term fixture in the Northeast.

Nice to meet you all.

GO NETS!

- left brain

Similar to what @mantypas/CavsCzar said! @Joe @quady

FROM THE SWAMP: Domantas Sabonis bought a Nintendo Switch. He doesn't seem to know how to charge it (or use it, for that matter) but it's made a badass coaster for his samovar of "hot swamp water."

Grade: 125 RP