Hawks new man Schmagel talks controversial trade
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Schmagel Steinbagel
- General Manager
- Posts: 2181
- Joined: December 20th, 2023, 12:16 pm
Hawks new man Schmagel talks controversial trade
After trading the Hawks brightest star in years fans are rioting in the streets of Atlanta - which is really just another day in Atlanta, but folks are targeting the Turner Center screaming nasty phrases like “Fuck the bagel man” and “put his ass back in the oven.” Schmagels grandparents were literally put in the ovens, German ovens, so this man is no stranger to standing in the fire.
At last, reporters hear footsteps coming from down the long, dark hallway that leads to the press room, and there he is busting open that double door.
Schmagel steps up to the podium, clears his throat, adjusts his tie, takes a big ole sip of water, and firmly states:
“Look, I hear the fans and I get it. Nobody wants to see a young stud talent like Cameron Boozer walk out the door. But i don’t want to hear the oven jokes. It’s hard enough for me to cook at night. You think this was easy for me? I’ve been up since 4 AM every day this week - and not because I want to but I had to. I had to put my own schmear on this team.
But let me tell you something about building a winner. My zayde - my grandfather - you see, he always said while I was spreading schmear as a boy: you don’t mortgage tomorrow for today’s sandwich. You must sacrifice to build something that lasts.
Cameron Boozer? Talented kid. Good family. Heimer’s favorite son. But I did the math, looked at the books, then our crystal ball, and saw the future. This organization needs assets. We got that Mercer kid - who I’ve been scouting since he was playing at the YMCA - and four first-round picks. FOUR!! You know what you can do with four first-rounders? You build a contender. Not a pretender, but a real contender.
*Schmagel belches*
Ooo that one smelled like salmon, cream cheese, and capers.
I didn’t survive forty years in the bagel business by being sentimental. You know how many times I had to change suppliers? Schmear bagels that needed a good schmearing? Steal from the tip jar?!
But Steinberg’s is still standing because I made smart, sustainable decisions when my father couldn’t.
This organization is getting back to fundamentals. We’re gonna scout right, develop proper, and build a team this rowdy city can be proud of for the next decade - DECADE - not just next season or the season after.
Im not going to promise a championship tomorrow or even soon - I’m not gonna blow smoke. But I will promise you this: every move we make is calculated, it’s strategic, and it’s for the long-term health of this franchise.
Next question.”
At last, reporters hear footsteps coming from down the long, dark hallway that leads to the press room, and there he is busting open that double door.
Schmagel steps up to the podium, clears his throat, adjusts his tie, takes a big ole sip of water, and firmly states:
“Look, I hear the fans and I get it. Nobody wants to see a young stud talent like Cameron Boozer walk out the door. But i don’t want to hear the oven jokes. It’s hard enough for me to cook at night. You think this was easy for me? I’ve been up since 4 AM every day this week - and not because I want to but I had to. I had to put my own schmear on this team.
But let me tell you something about building a winner. My zayde - my grandfather - you see, he always said while I was spreading schmear as a boy: you don’t mortgage tomorrow for today’s sandwich. You must sacrifice to build something that lasts.
Cameron Boozer? Talented kid. Good family. Heimer’s favorite son. But I did the math, looked at the books, then our crystal ball, and saw the future. This organization needs assets. We got that Mercer kid - who I’ve been scouting since he was playing at the YMCA - and four first-round picks. FOUR!! You know what you can do with four first-rounders? You build a contender. Not a pretender, but a real contender.
*Schmagel belches*
Ooo that one smelled like salmon, cream cheese, and capers.
I didn’t survive forty years in the bagel business by being sentimental. You know how many times I had to change suppliers? Schmear bagels that needed a good schmearing? Steal from the tip jar?!
But Steinberg’s is still standing because I made smart, sustainable decisions when my father couldn’t.
This organization is getting back to fundamentals. We’re gonna scout right, develop proper, and build a team this rowdy city can be proud of for the next decade - DECADE - not just next season or the season after.
Im not going to promise a championship tomorrow or even soon - I’m not gonna blow smoke. But I will promise you this: every move we make is calculated, it’s strategic, and it’s for the long-term health of this franchise.
Next question.”
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
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Schmagel Steinbagel
- General Manager
- Posts: 2181
- Joined: December 20th, 2023, 12:16 pm
Hawks new man Schmagel talks controversial trade
oy vey! you’re too kind!
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
Hawks new man Schmagel talks controversial trade
RP Grandpa and Grandma Steinbagel.
reporter really setting the tone with that opener
reporter really setting the tone with that opener
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