It's 2012, so here is Ricky Rubio's review of "Take Care" by Drake as posted to his MySpace account
Posted: March 6th, 2024, 1:14 pm
Hola mis amigos de MySpace,
It's your boy Ricky. I write to you from mi nuevo casa in Toronto, Canada where I have recently been introduced to a new up and coming artist. I met this hombre se llama Aubrey the other night at una fiesta muy chevere at Emeka Okafor's house. Emeka is my richest and most responsible teammate and it has been a tough season for him losing games while the rest of us try and figure it out. But anyway I was muy emocionado when Aubrey told me about his new record Take Care and gave me a free copy of the album.
For my Canadian fans, here are my favorite things about este album. I am still learning English so es dificil to explain myself fully but the music is excellent. I love Canada and it's great to be embraced by the people here. Aubrey dice que he will name drop me on a song soon. Que bueno!
Track 1: Over My Dead Body
This song makes me ask big questions about life. It is the favorite song of mi amigo Marc Gasol. Marc often wonders why he has not had a better career. He likes to ponder deep into the night with a glass of vino imported from our favorite vineyard in Barcelona. I am so glad to have Marc on my team. Does anyone know if Michael Jordan still has his hoop earring in?
Track 2: Shot for Me
This song I find most relatable because i am frecuentemente asking my teammates to take a shot for me. I hate shooting. I would rather pass the ball and make everyone else happy. They tell me I would own all the rookie assist records if I were classified as a rookie but for some reason I am not. May your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, angels protect you, and heaven accept you, unless you are playing for the Detroit Pistons, I did not want to play basketball there anyway.
Track 3: Headlines
Pablo Millsap le gusta escuchar this song in the locker room todos los dias. He loves to scream "I HAD SOMEONE TELL ME I FELL OFF OOH I NEEDED THAT" every time. Paul is very good at shooting two-pointers now for some reason.
Track 4: Crew Love
The other night I was at the club with Marc and our compadres on Raptors 905. For some reason this is Mindaugas Kuzminskas favorite song. I do not know why.
Track 5: Take Care
I have just learned for the first time who is this woman Rihanna. Estoy enamorado. I too, have loved and lost. I feel sad for my new friend Aubrey.
Track 6: Marvins Room
I now feel even more sad for my new friend Aubrey.
Track 7: Buried Alive Interlude
What is an interlude?
Track 8: Under Ground Kings
Es mi favorito. I listen to this song every day before I go to shoot free throws. I use it to prepare for this summer SuperCamp in which I shall return to Espana and go to Malaga and prepare to work heavily on my shooting. I am ready to do this shit for Toronto.
Track 11: Lord Knows
I skip songs 9 and 10 because I am so excited to listen to my new favorite rapper also named Rick, Rick Ross. I do not know much Ingles (I do have a teammate se llama Jose Ingles) but I do know that I love to shout "I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE PEN STARTED FUCKIN THE INK" as loudly as possible when this song plays in the locker room. Why does Gordon Hayward look at me so funny when I do this?
I am now realizing this album is extremely long. Gerald Henderson is explaining to me that "Hell Yeah Fuckin Right" has a chorus that is a rhetorical question, which I do not understand. It is time for me to go practice shooting some more. I wish I had more time to post my thoughts on este musica pero necesito practicar para ganar championships. I hope I am a Raptor forever.
Su Amigo,
Ricky