2011 FA Day 1 Reactions: If every contract was a meal…
2011 FA Day 1 Reactions: If every contract was a meal…
Who wants a lame old grade when your value can be viewed through the beautiful prism of FOOD. I will be comparing each FA Day 1 contract to some meal/food item. It may be from a restaurant we all now. It might be a delivered version of an item. It could be a homemade recipe! I think we can all agree that pretty much all food tastes good. Especially when someone else prepared it for you. That said, is the cold Panera breakfast sandwich with a terrible baguette-to-egg ratio really worth $20? Sometimes, you can invest so much time/energy in something that the juice just isn’t worth the squeeze. Let’s check it out below1
2011 181 Nets Sign SF Antawn Jamison for $11,000,000 over one year.
Chick Fil-A Spicy Chicken Sandwich (extra pickles + honey roasted bbq sauce for the cultured).
This fucker is money in the bank. It’s an institution. You’re truly very happy to turn in this direction for any meal, and by golly, I would humbly protest that you don’t even need to be hungry to want a chick fil a sandwich. Jamison may be getting up there in years, but these veteran stars on 1-year contracts for ~11m are so easy to flip (if you are deep in a tank and looking for a quick pick or RP grab) or keep as an excellent stop gap player to drop into a young core. I think short of sniping one of the big boys on a mega deal that can be turned into multiple picks, etc., this one-year, low-8 figure deal for a star in his mid 30s is fucking delicious. EXTRA pickles on this mf. Hats off to Steven.
2011 181 Rockets Sign C Eddy Curry for $114,000,000 over 6 years.
Steak Frites at a bougie ass French restaurant
What’s that? You’re in the mood for some tasty beef? You’ve arrived at Rue de Parc de Mademoiselle de Pee Pee Poo Poo and there are several options when it comes to beef. You could go the burger route? Cheapest option. Plenty tasty. But let’s be honest you can get a burger anywhere, is that really all that special for a nice French place? On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the petit filet—a gorgeous preparation and probably a delicious dish, but it’s the most expensive thing on the menu, and you just saw one come out and it is about 1/5th the amount of food that you are hoping to eat. Enter the Steak Frites. Sexual. Amply portioned with tons of French fries. Distinct and culturally authentic. And while on the expensive side, one of the best values on the menu! Why, the brick roasted chicken listed above it is only a few dollars less! Eddy Curry ON A FLAT DEAL (!) brings this type of dynamism to the fold. Great deal for Nolan. I love a steak frites, and I’m sure he loves bringing Steady Eddy back for this deal
2011 181 Bucks Sign SF Kevin Durant for $120,312,500 over 7 years.
Side of mashed potatoes at a steakhouse
This is just one of the biggest no-brainer orders that exists. I don’t actually ever remember putting thought into ordering them anymore, i just blackout mecole hard man style and next thing i know, fluffy buttery garlicky goodness is inbound. Nice that Derek saves RPS here and gets the 7th year, but a no-brainer.
2011 181 Bulls Sign PF Eddie Griffin for $59,062,500 over 3 years.
Omakase
This is one of those special meals that, in my humble opinion, is about as delicious and fun as dining gets. You have constant entertainment and talking points throughout the meal, just as Eddie Griffin is going to be getting Matt’s blood level going as he checks his box scores, be it for happy or unhappy reasons. This experience is likely to provide flavors and memories that are truly unique—be it a quadruple double or some crazy torched king salmon Nigiri. What’s more, most exquisite and special dining experiences are going to leave you feeling disgusting, bloated, or even downright guiltily/hating yourself afterwards. However, Omakase isn’t a ton of food and leaves you feel quite light, if not enlightened afterwards, much like a short 3-year deal rather than a 6-year clunker like some other stud bigs in the league have on their deals. Unfortunately, much of this ‘light’ feeling comes from the weight removed from your wallet—the least fun moment at omakase is when the bill arrives, and Matt is surely paying Eddie, who has some efficiency quirks, a pretty penny with the 20m AAV.
2011 181 Celtics Sign C Kwame Brown for $57,750,000 over 3 years.
When you order a ton of wings and the wrong Doordash order arrives, but the food that was incorrectly delivered is pretty good pizza, so you break into and enjoy it while bitching on the app to get them to re-deliver the correct food while also adding $20 extra credits to your account for the inconvenience.
I think the name of this one kinda says it all— two of the best things in life (and they are two different things, trust me) are free money and free food. It’s the best kind of money and the best kind of food. While it is mostly just a stroke of luck when this happens, you can’t help but be happy for the beneficiary, so congrats to joe! Somewhere Derek is angrily bitching at doordash himself… still waiting for his pizza an hour and a half after ordering.
2011 181 Warriors Sign PG Stephon Marbury for $4,500,000 over one year.
A hot dog at a street festival
You’re not at a sports game. You’re not in a backyard at some cookout. It’s not the Fourth of July. But damnit, you and your significant other have been walking through this Mexican food festival thing for 5 minutes looking for something to eat for lunch, and everything is overpriced and smells way stronger than it should….. you’re ready for an ol’reliable glizzy once you see it’s an option from the German bratwurst person. That’ll be $2.50 please. Is it its the most delicious, filling lunch you’ve ever had? No. Is it an American classic in former/other contexts that can affordably get the job done in this current situation? You bet your ass!
2011 181 Heat Sign SG Brandon Roy for $26,250,000 over 2 years.
Getting into a huge war with Doordash on the app for credits once it’s clear your driver isn’t showing up with no actual desire for more food to be re-delivered
I think we’ve all been here. It’s sort of similar to the Kwame brown situation above, but in this scenario you’re just looking for free money instead of free food.
2011 181 Jazz Sign SG Dahntay Jones for $88,410,100 over 5 years.
Homemade Chicken Mole
I love to cook, and I love to follow a recipe to try to recreate more complex dishes that I can normally only find at a restaurant… i dont know if anyone here has tried a mole sauce, but it’s this like spicy chocolatey type shit that is almost like Mexican Indian food in a way. It’s totally fire. Here’s the thing with mole— I made it once, and there are about 40 ingredients and it takes hours and hours. So while after 4 hours, $60 of artisan ingredients purchased (so many different chilis!) that I’ll likely not use again for a while, and lots of energy/focus I had a yummy sauce that I took a lot of pride and joy in eating….. the reality is I should’ve just gone to some dope Mexican place and spent $35 on their chicken mole. There’s juice there, but you gotta squeeze fucking hard for it. I really like Dahntay Jones, but I think there are cheaper/more efficient ways to get that kind of production onto your roster compared to this 5 yr 17.5m AAV deal he got.
2011 181 Kings Sign C Zach Randolph for $11,300,000 over one year.
Grabbing an extra avocado at the supermarket without a specific defined use for it
Look, who doesn’t love an avocado? It can go on basically anything, with any meal, and can enhance or serve as its own meal on toast. This Randolph deal allows him to be used in a larger trade, but he also can just be overpaid/overqualified depth sitting at the back of the proverbial vegetable because Jesse has enough room on the countertop this upcoming week. Just a veteran move—I’ve found myself many times in a kitchen wishing i had an avocado! Can’t ever remember feeling like i had too many.
2011 181 Clippers Sign C Greg Oden for $93,750,000 over 6 years.
Doordash App Credit Fight pt. 2
See Heat above. Free money is good business.
2011 181 Hawks Sign SF Josh Smith for $15,750,000 over one year.
Double Shackburger with a side of chicken bites delivered
This is my guilty pleasure ‘Annie is out for the night at work and i get to order whatever i want’ dirty meal. To be honest it’s morphed into 7th street burger with fries, but i use shake shack for the example to make this more broadly appealing to a national audience. The point here is that I’m willing to spend like $25 on fast food delivery because its exactly what i want and i dont care what anyone says. It’s objectively an electric order even if maybe its not good for me.
2011 181 Cavaliers Sign SF Wilson Chandler for $13,800,000 over 3 years.
Cheeseburger at a sports stadium
You read that right. A cheeseburger. You might think to yourself, who gets a cheeseburger at a sports game? That’s sort of random? Don’t you think you’re probably going to be dissatisfied because you’re paying the sports stadium price premium but then likely getting a particularly mundane burger? Well may I direct your attention to Wilson Chandler, who not only has meh ratings but also did not (unless I”m missing something?) put up a single promising statistical performance over the course of his rookie contract. I think much like the stadium burger, you’re probably overpaying for something that could’ve been left alone entirely with this deal. 4.6Mx3 wont break the bank just as a $12 hamburger with a huge untoasted seeded bun won’t ruin your day. I just don’t know if its how I’m spending my money when there are chicken finger baskets around.
2011 181 Bullets Sign C Zydrunas Ilgauskas for $5,000,000 over one year.
Spicy chicken sandwich with medium side of fries from Wendy’s
This is similar (but worse) to the Jamison/Chick Fil A comp. What we’re looking at here is an all-time classic, an order that has sustained us since we were first driving in high school, and for a phenomenal value. I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to be able to justify eating this kind of food, much as Big Z might up and retire sometime soon, but while I can, it’s a pretty unstoppable combination of taste and value.
2011 181 Bucks Sign C Fabricio Oberto for $4,500,000 over one year.
Club sandwich with French fries at any country club
When you get to a new country club, the menu at the grill can sometimes be overwhelming. Some clubs might specialize in burgers and have a whole section devoted there, or some chicken sandwich with bacon named after the club’s founder or what have you. Ignore all the fancy bordered sections describing scoops of chicken and tuna salad. It is simply good business to order the club sandwich at a country club. There are lots of options, and maybe some might even but you’re never going to refer going with the club. It is just the same with giving a big butt an MLE.
2011 181 Warriors Sign PF Travis Outlaw for $12,500,000 over one year.
Chicken STOCK
similar to the avocado, stock is incredibly versatile. It’s a key ingredient to many fantastic dishes. It has a long shelf life. It is also the same stats that mr. Outlaw provides in the scoring sheet. It’s just good business to have chicken stock in the kitchen if you consider yourself a (YES) CHEF!
2011 181 Pistons Sign SF Stephen Jackson for $4,500,000 over one year.
A share size butterfinger at the movies
I was never a butterfinger kid personally, but i feel like some people really liked these back in the day. Note those last few words—back in the day. Seems like its been a few years since sjax merited an MLE, and its not like the MLE is crazy expensive or anything, but its more of an opportunity cost thing as well. It’s like damn you spent your MLE on Stephen Jackson? You wanted butterfingers as your movie treat? Like to each his own but like that’s not my own ya know?
2011 181 Pacers Sign SF Corey Brewer for $3,000,000 over one year.
The ginger that comes with a fancy sushi roll
I don’t really tend to notice. Seems insignificant
2011 181 Magic Sign SG Jason Terry for $1,200,000 over one year.
Dollar slice pizza (from one of the good places, not one of the shitty ones)
Look, it’s only a dollar, how much value can it really provide? Oh idk. How about a delicious hot slice of pizza in a matter of seconds. It’s not going to change your life, and it might not even fill you up for that long, but you can find far, far, far worse ways to spend a dollar than on dollar slice.
2011 181 Trail Blazers Sign SF Peja Stojakovic for $1,200,000 over one year.
Share size bag of Peanut M&Ms from CVS
Another situation here where it’s just a great value. Peanut M&Ms aren’t changing your life obviously, but when you go to CVS these days they’re basically paying you to take stuff out of the store. That’s why everything is behind glass there now. Peja on the LLE is just solid, if not a bit filling if you find yourself in a hunger/injury pinch.
2011 181 Trail Blazers Sign PG Mo Williams for $4,752,000 over 3 years.
The David Chang Ramen packets
Have you tried these? They’re really good and can be used as you would just like normal top ramen, or you can use them as noodles for Asian dishes and stuff if you’re feeling lazy and dont want to make actual noodles. Dynamic, tasty, and extremely good value. I consider them a kitchen staple. I thought this was a great deal to get depth locked in on a cheap number.
2011 181 Nuggets Sign C Kendrick Perkins for $30,000,000 over 2 years.
Westville Kale Salad with breaded chicken fillet added, delivered on doordash
Any of my NYC brothers of culture know that this salad is basically an excuse to eat a yummy chicken cutlet but also has a bunch of dope tasty ingredients. I essentially consider this to be ‘Omakase light’ in terms of there being a lot of positives here—you’re going to feel good about the meal afterward (short deal length) and there is some really solid upside to the value that he provides on the deal. There is always a chance that he trends down a bit or just is more ‘meh’ just as there is a chance that the salad doesnt deliver well. I’d say this probably happens like 1 in 10 times from Westville. The other big issue with the salad is its expensive as tits. That chicky cutty is tasty but it dont come cheap. I paid dearly to make sure I secured what i considered to be one of the only true big butts of the FA class in Denver, because i know what i like! (I order this salad all the time)
2011 181 Jazz Sign C Mike Sweetney for $1,200,000 over one year.
When you finally try the fried chicken place your friend’s been raving about for years
I feel like this LLE touched off drama in the Grundle/Josh bromance that has yet to surface.
2011 181 Knicks Sign C Johan Petro for $10,800,000 over 2 years.
Confidently ordering multiple of the same appetizer for the table because you know its elite and everyone will want some
Nav got a taste of Petro last season and he clearly liked it and wanted more. When the heart wants what the heart wants, it allows you to see clearly and act upon those desires. It can seem a bit forward when you’re discussing ordering 3 or 4 apps as a part of a bigger group, but you know the restaurant well and you know there need to be 2 orders of wings on the table no matter what. It would’ve been easy for nav to just go for the Mihm style one year deal here but no! He knows he wants two.
2011 181 Knicks Sign PG Juan Dixon for $1,300,000 over one year.
Sweet pickles on the side of a sandwich
Like the ginger, I just pay no attention to sweet pickles.
2011 181 Knicks Sign C Chris Mihm for $6,100,000 over one year.
Doordash express delivery premium
Sometimes you’re just willing to pay that extra premium in order to keep all the poors of the world in their proper place—BEHIND YOU in the doordash delivery queue! Nav did the same here with his 6.1m offer and all of the poor schmucks lobbing MLE’s at Mihm. Nice try, plebs! Capitalism is undefeated.
2011 181 Pacers Sign C Marreese Speights for $13,603,827 over 6 years.
Homemade beef bouillon cubes
I saw some IG video about how it takes like a full day of labor to create beef bouillon cubes, and while they are highly novel, you can go buy such cubes at the store anytime very cheaply. I know this tale very well myself, having just given out two such contracts to Gary Siler and Vitor Corleone Faverani. I hope Speights turns out to be a stud, but he’s been in the league file for a sneaky long time with basically the same ratings he has now.
2011 181 Bucks Sign C Melvin Ely for $1,440,000 over one year.
The olive that comes on top of a sandwich with the toothpick
Don’t care. Don’t notice.
2011 181 Hornets Sign C Olumide Oyedeji for $3,000,000 over one year.
Al Pastor Tacos from Taco Numero Uno
I’m convinced this is one of the better deals in the city. You might still think that $5 for a taco is not exactly cheap, just as some big butts re sign for $1m instead of the $3m OO took here, but have you actually tried Taco No 1? It’s fucking fire. The value is clear. Great deal for the hornets here
Well that was fun!! Hope you guys enjoyed
2011 181 Nets Sign SF Antawn Jamison for $11,000,000 over one year.
Chick Fil-A Spicy Chicken Sandwich (extra pickles + honey roasted bbq sauce for the cultured).
This fucker is money in the bank. It’s an institution. You’re truly very happy to turn in this direction for any meal, and by golly, I would humbly protest that you don’t even need to be hungry to want a chick fil a sandwich. Jamison may be getting up there in years, but these veteran stars on 1-year contracts for ~11m are so easy to flip (if you are deep in a tank and looking for a quick pick or RP grab) or keep as an excellent stop gap player to drop into a young core. I think short of sniping one of the big boys on a mega deal that can be turned into multiple picks, etc., this one-year, low-8 figure deal for a star in his mid 30s is fucking delicious. EXTRA pickles on this mf. Hats off to Steven.
2011 181 Rockets Sign C Eddy Curry for $114,000,000 over 6 years.
Steak Frites at a bougie ass French restaurant
What’s that? You’re in the mood for some tasty beef? You’ve arrived at Rue de Parc de Mademoiselle de Pee Pee Poo Poo and there are several options when it comes to beef. You could go the burger route? Cheapest option. Plenty tasty. But let’s be honest you can get a burger anywhere, is that really all that special for a nice French place? On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the petit filet—a gorgeous preparation and probably a delicious dish, but it’s the most expensive thing on the menu, and you just saw one come out and it is about 1/5th the amount of food that you are hoping to eat. Enter the Steak Frites. Sexual. Amply portioned with tons of French fries. Distinct and culturally authentic. And while on the expensive side, one of the best values on the menu! Why, the brick roasted chicken listed above it is only a few dollars less! Eddy Curry ON A FLAT DEAL (!) brings this type of dynamism to the fold. Great deal for Nolan. I love a steak frites, and I’m sure he loves bringing Steady Eddy back for this deal
2011 181 Bucks Sign SF Kevin Durant for $120,312,500 over 7 years.
Side of mashed potatoes at a steakhouse
This is just one of the biggest no-brainer orders that exists. I don’t actually ever remember putting thought into ordering them anymore, i just blackout mecole hard man style and next thing i know, fluffy buttery garlicky goodness is inbound. Nice that Derek saves RPS here and gets the 7th year, but a no-brainer.
2011 181 Bulls Sign PF Eddie Griffin for $59,062,500 over 3 years.
Omakase
This is one of those special meals that, in my humble opinion, is about as delicious and fun as dining gets. You have constant entertainment and talking points throughout the meal, just as Eddie Griffin is going to be getting Matt’s blood level going as he checks his box scores, be it for happy or unhappy reasons. This experience is likely to provide flavors and memories that are truly unique—be it a quadruple double or some crazy torched king salmon Nigiri. What’s more, most exquisite and special dining experiences are going to leave you feeling disgusting, bloated, or even downright guiltily/hating yourself afterwards. However, Omakase isn’t a ton of food and leaves you feel quite light, if not enlightened afterwards, much like a short 3-year deal rather than a 6-year clunker like some other stud bigs in the league have on their deals. Unfortunately, much of this ‘light’ feeling comes from the weight removed from your wallet—the least fun moment at omakase is when the bill arrives, and Matt is surely paying Eddie, who has some efficiency quirks, a pretty penny with the 20m AAV.
2011 181 Celtics Sign C Kwame Brown for $57,750,000 over 3 years.
When you order a ton of wings and the wrong Doordash order arrives, but the food that was incorrectly delivered is pretty good pizza, so you break into and enjoy it while bitching on the app to get them to re-deliver the correct food while also adding $20 extra credits to your account for the inconvenience.
I think the name of this one kinda says it all— two of the best things in life (and they are two different things, trust me) are free money and free food. It’s the best kind of money and the best kind of food. While it is mostly just a stroke of luck when this happens, you can’t help but be happy for the beneficiary, so congrats to joe! Somewhere Derek is angrily bitching at doordash himself… still waiting for his pizza an hour and a half after ordering.
2011 181 Warriors Sign PG Stephon Marbury for $4,500,000 over one year.
A hot dog at a street festival
You’re not at a sports game. You’re not in a backyard at some cookout. It’s not the Fourth of July. But damnit, you and your significant other have been walking through this Mexican food festival thing for 5 minutes looking for something to eat for lunch, and everything is overpriced and smells way stronger than it should….. you’re ready for an ol’reliable glizzy once you see it’s an option from the German bratwurst person. That’ll be $2.50 please. Is it its the most delicious, filling lunch you’ve ever had? No. Is it an American classic in former/other contexts that can affordably get the job done in this current situation? You bet your ass!
2011 181 Heat Sign SG Brandon Roy for $26,250,000 over 2 years.
Getting into a huge war with Doordash on the app for credits once it’s clear your driver isn’t showing up with no actual desire for more food to be re-delivered
I think we’ve all been here. It’s sort of similar to the Kwame brown situation above, but in this scenario you’re just looking for free money instead of free food.
2011 181 Jazz Sign SG Dahntay Jones for $88,410,100 over 5 years.
Homemade Chicken Mole
I love to cook, and I love to follow a recipe to try to recreate more complex dishes that I can normally only find at a restaurant… i dont know if anyone here has tried a mole sauce, but it’s this like spicy chocolatey type shit that is almost like Mexican Indian food in a way. It’s totally fire. Here’s the thing with mole— I made it once, and there are about 40 ingredients and it takes hours and hours. So while after 4 hours, $60 of artisan ingredients purchased (so many different chilis!) that I’ll likely not use again for a while, and lots of energy/focus I had a yummy sauce that I took a lot of pride and joy in eating….. the reality is I should’ve just gone to some dope Mexican place and spent $35 on their chicken mole. There’s juice there, but you gotta squeeze fucking hard for it. I really like Dahntay Jones, but I think there are cheaper/more efficient ways to get that kind of production onto your roster compared to this 5 yr 17.5m AAV deal he got.
2011 181 Kings Sign C Zach Randolph for $11,300,000 over one year.
Grabbing an extra avocado at the supermarket without a specific defined use for it
Look, who doesn’t love an avocado? It can go on basically anything, with any meal, and can enhance or serve as its own meal on toast. This Randolph deal allows him to be used in a larger trade, but he also can just be overpaid/overqualified depth sitting at the back of the proverbial vegetable because Jesse has enough room on the countertop this upcoming week. Just a veteran move—I’ve found myself many times in a kitchen wishing i had an avocado! Can’t ever remember feeling like i had too many.
2011 181 Clippers Sign C Greg Oden for $93,750,000 over 6 years.
Doordash App Credit Fight pt. 2
See Heat above. Free money is good business.
2011 181 Hawks Sign SF Josh Smith for $15,750,000 over one year.
Double Shackburger with a side of chicken bites delivered
This is my guilty pleasure ‘Annie is out for the night at work and i get to order whatever i want’ dirty meal. To be honest it’s morphed into 7th street burger with fries, but i use shake shack for the example to make this more broadly appealing to a national audience. The point here is that I’m willing to spend like $25 on fast food delivery because its exactly what i want and i dont care what anyone says. It’s objectively an electric order even if maybe its not good for me.
2011 181 Cavaliers Sign SF Wilson Chandler for $13,800,000 over 3 years.
Cheeseburger at a sports stadium
You read that right. A cheeseburger. You might think to yourself, who gets a cheeseburger at a sports game? That’s sort of random? Don’t you think you’re probably going to be dissatisfied because you’re paying the sports stadium price premium but then likely getting a particularly mundane burger? Well may I direct your attention to Wilson Chandler, who not only has meh ratings but also did not (unless I”m missing something?) put up a single promising statistical performance over the course of his rookie contract. I think much like the stadium burger, you’re probably overpaying for something that could’ve been left alone entirely with this deal. 4.6Mx3 wont break the bank just as a $12 hamburger with a huge untoasted seeded bun won’t ruin your day. I just don’t know if its how I’m spending my money when there are chicken finger baskets around.
2011 181 Bullets Sign C Zydrunas Ilgauskas for $5,000,000 over one year.
Spicy chicken sandwich with medium side of fries from Wendy’s
This is similar (but worse) to the Jamison/Chick Fil A comp. What we’re looking at here is an all-time classic, an order that has sustained us since we were first driving in high school, and for a phenomenal value. I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to be able to justify eating this kind of food, much as Big Z might up and retire sometime soon, but while I can, it’s a pretty unstoppable combination of taste and value.
2011 181 Bucks Sign C Fabricio Oberto for $4,500,000 over one year.
Club sandwich with French fries at any country club
When you get to a new country club, the menu at the grill can sometimes be overwhelming. Some clubs might specialize in burgers and have a whole section devoted there, or some chicken sandwich with bacon named after the club’s founder or what have you. Ignore all the fancy bordered sections describing scoops of chicken and tuna salad. It is simply good business to order the club sandwich at a country club. There are lots of options, and maybe some might even but you’re never going to refer going with the club. It is just the same with giving a big butt an MLE.
2011 181 Warriors Sign PF Travis Outlaw for $12,500,000 over one year.
Chicken STOCK
similar to the avocado, stock is incredibly versatile. It’s a key ingredient to many fantastic dishes. It has a long shelf life. It is also the same stats that mr. Outlaw provides in the scoring sheet. It’s just good business to have chicken stock in the kitchen if you consider yourself a (YES) CHEF!
2011 181 Pistons Sign SF Stephen Jackson for $4,500,000 over one year.
A share size butterfinger at the movies
I was never a butterfinger kid personally, but i feel like some people really liked these back in the day. Note those last few words—back in the day. Seems like its been a few years since sjax merited an MLE, and its not like the MLE is crazy expensive or anything, but its more of an opportunity cost thing as well. It’s like damn you spent your MLE on Stephen Jackson? You wanted butterfingers as your movie treat? Like to each his own but like that’s not my own ya know?
2011 181 Pacers Sign SF Corey Brewer for $3,000,000 over one year.
The ginger that comes with a fancy sushi roll
I don’t really tend to notice. Seems insignificant
2011 181 Magic Sign SG Jason Terry for $1,200,000 over one year.
Dollar slice pizza (from one of the good places, not one of the shitty ones)
Look, it’s only a dollar, how much value can it really provide? Oh idk. How about a delicious hot slice of pizza in a matter of seconds. It’s not going to change your life, and it might not even fill you up for that long, but you can find far, far, far worse ways to spend a dollar than on dollar slice.
2011 181 Trail Blazers Sign SF Peja Stojakovic for $1,200,000 over one year.
Share size bag of Peanut M&Ms from CVS
Another situation here where it’s just a great value. Peanut M&Ms aren’t changing your life obviously, but when you go to CVS these days they’re basically paying you to take stuff out of the store. That’s why everything is behind glass there now. Peja on the LLE is just solid, if not a bit filling if you find yourself in a hunger/injury pinch.
2011 181 Trail Blazers Sign PG Mo Williams for $4,752,000 over 3 years.
The David Chang Ramen packets
Have you tried these? They’re really good and can be used as you would just like normal top ramen, or you can use them as noodles for Asian dishes and stuff if you’re feeling lazy and dont want to make actual noodles. Dynamic, tasty, and extremely good value. I consider them a kitchen staple. I thought this was a great deal to get depth locked in on a cheap number.
2011 181 Nuggets Sign C Kendrick Perkins for $30,000,000 over 2 years.
Westville Kale Salad with breaded chicken fillet added, delivered on doordash
Any of my NYC brothers of culture know that this salad is basically an excuse to eat a yummy chicken cutlet but also has a bunch of dope tasty ingredients. I essentially consider this to be ‘Omakase light’ in terms of there being a lot of positives here—you’re going to feel good about the meal afterward (short deal length) and there is some really solid upside to the value that he provides on the deal. There is always a chance that he trends down a bit or just is more ‘meh’ just as there is a chance that the salad doesnt deliver well. I’d say this probably happens like 1 in 10 times from Westville. The other big issue with the salad is its expensive as tits. That chicky cutty is tasty but it dont come cheap. I paid dearly to make sure I secured what i considered to be one of the only true big butts of the FA class in Denver, because i know what i like! (I order this salad all the time)
2011 181 Jazz Sign C Mike Sweetney for $1,200,000 over one year.
When you finally try the fried chicken place your friend’s been raving about for years
I feel like this LLE touched off drama in the Grundle/Josh bromance that has yet to surface.
2011 181 Knicks Sign C Johan Petro for $10,800,000 over 2 years.
Confidently ordering multiple of the same appetizer for the table because you know its elite and everyone will want some
Nav got a taste of Petro last season and he clearly liked it and wanted more. When the heart wants what the heart wants, it allows you to see clearly and act upon those desires. It can seem a bit forward when you’re discussing ordering 3 or 4 apps as a part of a bigger group, but you know the restaurant well and you know there need to be 2 orders of wings on the table no matter what. It would’ve been easy for nav to just go for the Mihm style one year deal here but no! He knows he wants two.
2011 181 Knicks Sign PG Juan Dixon for $1,300,000 over one year.
Sweet pickles on the side of a sandwich
Like the ginger, I just pay no attention to sweet pickles.
2011 181 Knicks Sign C Chris Mihm for $6,100,000 over one year.
Doordash express delivery premium
Sometimes you’re just willing to pay that extra premium in order to keep all the poors of the world in their proper place—BEHIND YOU in the doordash delivery queue! Nav did the same here with his 6.1m offer and all of the poor schmucks lobbing MLE’s at Mihm. Nice try, plebs! Capitalism is undefeated.
2011 181 Pacers Sign C Marreese Speights for $13,603,827 over 6 years.
Homemade beef bouillon cubes
I saw some IG video about how it takes like a full day of labor to create beef bouillon cubes, and while they are highly novel, you can go buy such cubes at the store anytime very cheaply. I know this tale very well myself, having just given out two such contracts to Gary Siler and Vitor Corleone Faverani. I hope Speights turns out to be a stud, but he’s been in the league file for a sneaky long time with basically the same ratings he has now.
2011 181 Bucks Sign C Melvin Ely for $1,440,000 over one year.
The olive that comes on top of a sandwich with the toothpick
Don’t care. Don’t notice.
2011 181 Hornets Sign C Olumide Oyedeji for $3,000,000 over one year.
Al Pastor Tacos from Taco Numero Uno
I’m convinced this is one of the better deals in the city. You might still think that $5 for a taco is not exactly cheap, just as some big butts re sign for $1m instead of the $3m OO took here, but have you actually tried Taco No 1? It’s fucking fire. The value is clear. Great deal for the hornets here
Well that was fun!! Hope you guys enjoyed
Read this article hungry, which was a mistake. Went to Trader Joe’s and spent $200 on crap I didn’t need
"It's great to see the Celtics doing well again, 'cause that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and get spit at, get things thrown at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith's house."
Ya I didn’t even bid on Kwame tbh lol I signed him to a 4 year deal knowing I’d have to pay KD in year 5
-
mantypas/CavsCzar
- General Manager
- Posts: 725
- Joined: December 20th, 2023, 12:06 pm
the Wilson Chandler deal was a bet on his B potential making him a reliable 2 way player after a potentially good TC, and also not wanting to lose him for nothing. He also had some fire box scores after I gave him some real playing time. I see him as a stadium hamburger that could turn into a big mac by the second quarter of the big game
agree on most of these takes but mashed potatoes are a bottom tier potato, maybe only above a plain baked potato
amazing article!
amazing article!
@freezingcoldtakes!!!
Yee-to-the-Haw
-
- Newest Posts
- Top Active Users
- Newest Users
