Top 10 Most Garbage Nonsense Frenzy-Eligible Guys

[Joe]

Top 10 Most Garbage Nonsense Frenzy-Eligible Guys

Credit to Jwoo for the article idea – time is waning on MDW and it’s 3am in Portugal, but Tarik Black ain’t gonna camp himself so here we are. These are the rostered guys who are technically eligible for the frenzy based on ratings that have no possible business being considered relevant, ranked from least stinky poop to most stinky poop.

10. Robin Lopez C 26 7'0'' 281 C+ C- F+ B+ A-

Apologies to Steven, but I cannot find an earthly reason that Robin Lopez should be playing 32 minutes a game on a competitive team! Particularly while Rudy rides pine next to Bojan Bogdonavic and keeps touching him with his Covid hands.

9. Boris Diaw SF 32 6'8'' 250 B- C+ B- A- B+

I think people know my thoughts on Bobo at this point. A randomly jumbled together combination of letter grades does not a good player make, no matter how many times people change his position or his role in the depth chart.

8. Sasha Pavlovic SG 31 6'8'' 220 B B+ C A- C C

He no longer has the same ratings as Dwyane Wade :/ But you never know, he could always pop in TC! Could be worth a first or two?

7. Kirk Heinrich PG 34 6'4'' 190 C- A- A- B- C-

Heinrich’s biggest issue seems to be that he’s pretty bad at basketball. Pretty much any way you slice it, he doesn’t have a single redeeming feature or ability that he does at even an above-average level. Doesn’t score, doesn’t rebound, doesn’t handle, doesn’t defend. Could probably delete his letter grades and just leave the minuses across the board and it would be more representative of what he brings to the table.

6. Allen Crabbe SG 22 6'5'' 212 C B C- C- D+ (A Potential)

Given this guy has averaged 9 ppg on 42% for his NBA career, I gotta feel like that A potential is a weird game blip or an NDL mislabel. I suppose Clint could try to deal him, but I'm not sure there are a ton of Crabbe People out there

5. Adam Morrison SF 30 6'8'' 205 B+ A- D D+ C

There was a time when Adam Morrison’s exciting scoring profile and grimy moustache were a fun enough side show for even a competitive team to take a swing on him. That time has come, and it has gone. AMo is out of ammo, as his barely palatable defense rating has plummeted back down to the paltry D+ he sported on draft night...and, coincidentally, his offensive efficiency with it.

4. Elfrid Payton PG 20 6'3'' 195 C C B+ B+ C

He’s a 2nd round point guard with C/C scoring. He can’t score inside, can’t score outside, the man simply couldn’t score his way out of a wet paper bag. But at least he’s got B+ handles so when he ultimately decides he’s not going to shoot every possession, he makes sure he’s passing the ball to the other team so they can shoot it instead.

3. Phil Pressey PG 23 5'11'' 175 C- C A- B+ D+

I know he was mentioned on the pod, but he’s gotta be included on this list without question. Appears to be the only rostered PG with worse scoring ratings that our boy Elfrid. Pitiful, putrid Phil Pressey.

2. Troy Murphy PF 34 6'11'' 245 C+ A C C- A-

Ah yes, the coveted A Outside guy who takes about 3 shots per 36 minutes. Good thing he makes up for it on the defensive end. Sorry Troy, you won me many fantasy basketball leagues back in the late 2000s but you are no Austin Croshere.

1. Drew Gooden PF 33 6'10'' 250 B+ C+ D- C+ B+

The only reason he’s not the king of the FA scrap heap (all I can think of is that Family Guy cutaway of a pig among guinea pigs) is because the Knicks' Tank Whisperer identified him as perhaps the most losing frontcourt player in the file. Shoots it every time he touches it and currently sports a tidy 1:2 stock to TO. Gooden is somehow a worse version of Kenny Thomas, which I wasn’t sure was possible, and he earns the top spot as a result. Don't even think about it, Nav.


Who did I miss? Sound off

[jwoo]

thanks for not mentioning solomon jones

[jwoo]

Nav thought about it

[quady]

I am a Crabbe person! One of the best college games I've ever gone to came down to a duel between Crabbe and Klay Thompson at Washington St. Eventually they just took turns launching NBA+ distance threes. Both went for 30, and if iirc Cal took home the w

[Joe]

CRABBE PEOPLE CRABBE PEOPLE

[Kipke]

275 RP
x3 (FRENZY BOOST)

FINAL = 825 RP