Monty Williams REVIVED, HE’S OUR GHOSTCOACH™️ NOW

[SWAMP STEVEN]

*For immediate release*

We did the Jon Snow thing to former Suns coach and once-sentient human being Monty Williams. By that, we mean we took his body up to the coldest and most northern part of our state, and made sure no one had sex. New Jersey is…not that cold right now, actually. The whole thing was kinda a nothing burger

Then we did the Jay Z Black Album thing to former Suns coach and longtime processor of oxygen Monty Williams. By that, we mean we did the 99 Problems second verse skit with Hov and the cop in lil voices. “You was doing 55 in a 54” is whimsical, I mean, who has heard of a speed limit that doesn’t end in a 5 or a 0?! You’re crazy for this one, Rick!

Then we did the Evanescence thing, and BROUGHT [sic] HIM BACK TO LIFE. Monty “Alive!” Williams will assuredly save us from the nothing we’ve become.

When asked for comment, Monty let out a light bark and licked the microphone. We’re still working out a few things. PLEASE WELCOME GAY HAUNTED GHOSTCOACH MONTY “I FEEL SO ALIVE, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, I CAN’T DENY YOU” WILLIAMS. He’s also Lou’s dad now, because no one here knows how surnames work (“sir name, like a knight? Ok Elton SCHLONG” - Nets president of basketballs Joe Budden).

[Jordo]

Hahahahaha I’m dying (no pun intended)

[Tyler]

Evanescence doesn’t get talked about enough in 2024

[SWAMP STEVEN]

Evanescence doesn’t get talked about enough in 2024

It’s 2018

[SWAMP STEVEN]

[Merv]

Does the GhostCoach have a whistle that summons X’s and O’s like Alan Rails the GhostTrain guy…who summons ghost trains?

[Joe]

once you get called Elton Shlong you really have no recourse