Rising concerns among the Hawks Leadership (Author - Heimer)
Rising concerns among the Hawks Leadership (Author - Heimer)
Atlanta Anonymous Blog (AAB) – Sports
(ALL-STAR BREAK 1996-97) According to our source from inside the Atlanta Hawks, there are rising concerns inside Omni Coliseum. The arena is scheduled for demolition on July 26 of this year, and it seems the Hawks are destined for a similar course. The 1996-97 Atlanta Hawks started off strong this year. Some might say they were exceeding expectations. What was an average team on paper, started off with 9 wins and 4 seemingly close losses. AAB writer, Dingle McCringle, talked with GM of the Atlanta Hawks, Tony Scrony Weilheimer (pronounced: WHILE-HIGH-MER), and as he puts it, “It all started with that damn podcast.”
The podcast he is referring to would be the very first after the opening set of sims. The Hawks were 5-2 and the Hawks GM was high on his team. Weilheimer said, “I remember it clearly,” Before continuing he paused and looked up and to the right. The way he was touching his beard made it look like he was going to say something wise or nostalgic. He looked back at McCringle, like a deer in the headlights, and said “I forgot what I was going to say.”
McCringle: “You said there was something you remembered clearly and promptly forgot.”
Weilheimer slowly leans back in his chair, smirks, and mumbles “I remember,”
“There was something different about that day. The air was colder. Just a bit nippy if you know what I mean. But it wasn’t actually colder, it was just the anticipation in the air. Listen I’ll just cut to it - the anticipation makes my nipples hard. That’s what I’m trying to tell you, here, in plain English.”
McCringle butts-in “How did we get from talking about a podcast to your nipples?”
“Sure, McCringle. Anyways, this podcast goes up and Joe, the Boston Celtics GM, stumbles through the first few minutes and listen, that was tough to hear. As a longtime friend you hate to see him go and embarrass himself like that. I mean, what a guy, but man that was not good. So, it was the Celtics and a few other GMs sitting in a circle offering small tidbits about each team. They get to the Hawks. As I recall it was Jesse, the GM of the Kings, that said he was ‘bearish’ on my Hawks, as to which Joe replied, ‘I agree.’
Weilheimer had to take another deep breath, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
“Look at me McCringle, those guys don’t jack-shit! They wouldn’t know a bear if they saw one. Bear-ish?! That’s not real. As far as I know – you’re either a bear or you’re not. Have you ever seen a Lion-Bear? No! You haven’t! That’s because bears are bears and lions are lions. Pretty simple stuff. I don’t know, maybe it just ticked me off cause we’re the Atlanta Hawks. And, there are no bears in Georgia.”
McCringle heard stories but this was his first interview with the GM of the Hawks. McCringle was in awe of just how stupid the GM was.
“Uh, mate, I think they mean bearish in the sense of the stock market. Imagine the league is the market and the teams are the stocks. And here you are at 22-20, sitting 3rd in your division and 8th in the conference, and the fucking Bulls just passed you… again. All this after leveraging your future - trading 4 future first round picks for – Gary Payton – a great player, but still just an upgrade at point guard. Kenny Smith was fine running the point offering around 18 points on 7 assists. Maybe you should’ve gotten a big to control the center of the paint. Speaking of center, this team is center in the land of mediocrity. And, there are bears in Georgia you fucking knob.”
Weilheimer sits there frozen, but fuming. A faint squeak is heard. Weilheimer walks out.
Dingle McCringle.
Stay tuned - this story has only started to develop.
(ALL-STAR BREAK 1996-97) According to our source from inside the Atlanta Hawks, there are rising concerns inside Omni Coliseum. The arena is scheduled for demolition on July 26 of this year, and it seems the Hawks are destined for a similar course. The 1996-97 Atlanta Hawks started off strong this year. Some might say they were exceeding expectations. What was an average team on paper, started off with 9 wins and 4 seemingly close losses. AAB writer, Dingle McCringle, talked with GM of the Atlanta Hawks, Tony Scrony Weilheimer (pronounced: WHILE-HIGH-MER), and as he puts it, “It all started with that damn podcast.”
The podcast he is referring to would be the very first after the opening set of sims. The Hawks were 5-2 and the Hawks GM was high on his team. Weilheimer said, “I remember it clearly,” Before continuing he paused and looked up and to the right. The way he was touching his beard made it look like he was going to say something wise or nostalgic. He looked back at McCringle, like a deer in the headlights, and said “I forgot what I was going to say.”
McCringle: “You said there was something you remembered clearly and promptly forgot.”
Weilheimer slowly leans back in his chair, smirks, and mumbles “I remember,”
“There was something different about that day. The air was colder. Just a bit nippy if you know what I mean. But it wasn’t actually colder, it was just the anticipation in the air. Listen I’ll just cut to it - the anticipation makes my nipples hard. That’s what I’m trying to tell you, here, in plain English.”
McCringle butts-in “How did we get from talking about a podcast to your nipples?”
“Sure, McCringle. Anyways, this podcast goes up and Joe, the Boston Celtics GM, stumbles through the first few minutes and listen, that was tough to hear. As a longtime friend you hate to see him go and embarrass himself like that. I mean, what a guy, but man that was not good. So, it was the Celtics and a few other GMs sitting in a circle offering small tidbits about each team. They get to the Hawks. As I recall it was Jesse, the GM of the Kings, that said he was ‘bearish’ on my Hawks, as to which Joe replied, ‘I agree.’
Weilheimer had to take another deep breath, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
“Look at me McCringle, those guys don’t jack-shit! They wouldn’t know a bear if they saw one. Bear-ish?! That’s not real. As far as I know – you’re either a bear or you’re not. Have you ever seen a Lion-Bear? No! You haven’t! That’s because bears are bears and lions are lions. Pretty simple stuff. I don’t know, maybe it just ticked me off cause we’re the Atlanta Hawks. And, there are no bears in Georgia.”
McCringle heard stories but this was his first interview with the GM of the Hawks. McCringle was in awe of just how stupid the GM was.
“Uh, mate, I think they mean bearish in the sense of the stock market. Imagine the league is the market and the teams are the stocks. And here you are at 22-20, sitting 3rd in your division and 8th in the conference, and the fucking Bulls just passed you… again. All this after leveraging your future - trading 4 future first round picks for – Gary Payton – a great player, but still just an upgrade at point guard. Kenny Smith was fine running the point offering around 18 points on 7 assists. Maybe you should’ve gotten a big to control the center of the paint. Speaking of center, this team is center in the land of mediocrity. And, there are bears in Georgia you fucking knob.”
Weilheimer sits there frozen, but fuming. A faint squeak is heard. Weilheimer walks out.
Dingle McCringle.
Stay tuned - this story has only started to develop.
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
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