Cody Bad, Caleb Sad
Cody Bad, Caleb Sad
In a shocking move, the Atlanta Hawks told Cody Martin to "GTFO" and shipped "his ass" to the Los Angeles Clippers of Anaheim. It's a real tragedy - what happened. The Martin twins went on a couple’s trip with their significant others to St. Lucia to celebrate the lifelong dream of playing alongside each other in the SLN. Caleb and Cody always talked about simming it up in Sim League Nirvana and as the moment came closer - so did Cody and Jazmine, Caleb's high school sweetheart.
On the first day of the trip, the four of them (Caleb and Jazmine / Cody and other girl) went for a walk on the beach. Caleb complained of stomach problems and kept repeating "Man this must be from all the champagne I drank after winning the Big Baller Championship. Bummed you couldn't be there Cody." Objectively a nice thing to say but Cody didn't appreciate it. Cody wanted to ride that bench, but Heimer said no.
"Fuck that white boy" Cody exclaimed, "I don't need no one telling me I ain't a dawg when I am."
Caleb loves Heimer, so naturally he defended Heimer. "Scrub, that man won Atlanta a ring!"
Cody went bananas - screaming, yelling, actin-a-fool. "Scrub?!?!?" Caleb already had what he called "a tummy-ache" and mixed with some nervous tension - he shit himself. Soiled is the proper term, but this was a shit. Logs dripping and drooping down his leg, gripping his skin like leeches. It was bad. Caleb cried like a sissy for a few seconds and when reality hit him, Caleb waddled back to his room like one pooped penguin.
Jazmine was disgusted but is known to be a great girl and went back with Caleb. She ran ahead to avoid the nasty smell that trailed.
Later that night Caleb was feeling down and went for a walk. It was supposed to be a quick walk, but he was in a world of his own. Happy when he looked down at his ring, but sad when he remembers he just shit himself in his 20’s.
Cody was still angry and other girl was sleeping. Cody was right, he indeed has that dawg in him – only didn’t realize until now it wasn’t on the court and rather in the bedroom. Cody went over to Caleb’s room, and it was Jazmine spread out, cheeks out waiting for the return of her soiled King. It was dark and Jazmine could not have told the difference between the twins. Cody went to town.
When Caleb returned to the crime scene his heart flipped and dipped just like his stomach earlier that day. “How could you Jazmine?!” Caleb shouted.
Jazmine cried “I thought it was you! I just thought you were a little more excited than usual!”
“WHAT?!” Caleb turned around and headed straight for the airport. Poor guy didn’t know who to turn to – so he called Heimer. Heimer always knows what to say to lift you up. Things like, “just take a Xanax” and “oh boy that sucks. Come rip some percs with perk and I.”
Caleb left and stayed at Heimer's house for a few days until things cooled down.
“It's a little weird” said backup to backup Center Richaun Holmes. “They both love each other. Men are supposed to be brass-knuckle ballers not some soft serve vanilla ice cream. I mean, some players on the team think they are gay or something." He continued, "Heimer is always slapping Caleb's ass. No one else's ass, just Caleb's round, juicy ass. Certainly not mines."
For context, when scouting for the 2019 Draft, Heimer was so disgusted by Cody's jump shot he involuntarily and audibly dry-heaved all over the place. It was everywhere. You couldn't see the puke, but it was there just in an astral sense. The only reason he drafted Cody was to please Caleb, one of Heimer's favorite players and for no good reason. So when Heimer got the call from Caleb he nearly shit himself too.
Heimer called Cody, reamed him out, told him he's been traded to the Clippers and before hanging up asked, “So how was it?”
“Fire Heimer, Fire Heimer!!” **Cody Hangs up**
On the first day of the trip, the four of them (Caleb and Jazmine / Cody and other girl) went for a walk on the beach. Caleb complained of stomach problems and kept repeating "Man this must be from all the champagne I drank after winning the Big Baller Championship. Bummed you couldn't be there Cody." Objectively a nice thing to say but Cody didn't appreciate it. Cody wanted to ride that bench, but Heimer said no.
"Fuck that white boy" Cody exclaimed, "I don't need no one telling me I ain't a dawg when I am."
Caleb loves Heimer, so naturally he defended Heimer. "Scrub, that man won Atlanta a ring!"
Cody went bananas - screaming, yelling, actin-a-fool. "Scrub?!?!?" Caleb already had what he called "a tummy-ache" and mixed with some nervous tension - he shit himself. Soiled is the proper term, but this was a shit. Logs dripping and drooping down his leg, gripping his skin like leeches. It was bad. Caleb cried like a sissy for a few seconds and when reality hit him, Caleb waddled back to his room like one pooped penguin.
Jazmine was disgusted but is known to be a great girl and went back with Caleb. She ran ahead to avoid the nasty smell that trailed.
Later that night Caleb was feeling down and went for a walk. It was supposed to be a quick walk, but he was in a world of his own. Happy when he looked down at his ring, but sad when he remembers he just shit himself in his 20’s.
Cody was still angry and other girl was sleeping. Cody was right, he indeed has that dawg in him – only didn’t realize until now it wasn’t on the court and rather in the bedroom. Cody went over to Caleb’s room, and it was Jazmine spread out, cheeks out waiting for the return of her soiled King. It was dark and Jazmine could not have told the difference between the twins. Cody went to town.
When Caleb returned to the crime scene his heart flipped and dipped just like his stomach earlier that day. “How could you Jazmine?!” Caleb shouted.
Jazmine cried “I thought it was you! I just thought you were a little more excited than usual!”
“WHAT?!” Caleb turned around and headed straight for the airport. Poor guy didn’t know who to turn to – so he called Heimer. Heimer always knows what to say to lift you up. Things like, “just take a Xanax” and “oh boy that sucks. Come rip some percs with perk and I.”
Caleb left and stayed at Heimer's house for a few days until things cooled down.
“It's a little weird” said backup to backup Center Richaun Holmes. “They both love each other. Men are supposed to be brass-knuckle ballers not some soft serve vanilla ice cream. I mean, some players on the team think they are gay or something." He continued, "Heimer is always slapping Caleb's ass. No one else's ass, just Caleb's round, juicy ass. Certainly not mines."
For context, when scouting for the 2019 Draft, Heimer was so disgusted by Cody's jump shot he involuntarily and audibly dry-heaved all over the place. It was everywhere. You couldn't see the puke, but it was there just in an astral sense. The only reason he drafted Cody was to please Caleb, one of Heimer's favorite players and for no good reason. So when Heimer got the call from Caleb he nearly shit himself too.
Heimer called Cody, reamed him out, told him he's been traded to the Clippers and before hanging up asked, “So how was it?”
“Fire Heimer, Fire Heimer!!” **Cody Hangs up**
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
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mantypas/CavsCzar
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- Posts: 1744
- Joined: December 20th, 2023, 12:06 pm
gripping his skin like leeches, this man is a modern Shakespeare (lets ignore he's talking about poop)
FOR THE LAND
content boost me ?
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day
Big beats, hit streets, see gangstahs roamin'
And parties don't stop 'til eight in the Monin
First article bump only applies to written articles, not press releases or pods :/
Fauci is a nerd
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