Sim League Showdown: Middle Earth v. Westeros

[Boredo]

Sim League Showdown: Middle Earth v. Westeros

After finishing up an insane work week, I figured there was no better way to unwind than with a Lord of the Rings extended edition marathon. During the opening scene I thought to myself, goddamn, Sauron would be completely out of pocket in SLN. He’s an 8 foot SF that develops like a PG and is 70,000 years old so he probably receives a +20 pot boost every league anniversary. And then I thought well, what would a Middle Earth Team look like? The Witch King of Angmar is one of my favorite fantasy characters ever so naturally he’d be built like current day Rui Hachimura. Legolas would be a complete flame thrower, Frodo’s handles and quickness would be completely maxed and Gimilis butt would make beef proud.

Their Opponents? None other than the Game of Thrones universes most prolific Ballers!

After combing through the interwebs for an hour I found a free sim engine that allowed me to custom build each player. Obviously, the rating attributes and sim engine are not exactly FBB but I think this is close enough!

Middle Earth Top Players

Sauron

Strengths: Elite mix of inside and outside. Can score in the paint and has excellent range. Good vision for a big man, and solid post defender, solid rebounder.

Weaknesses: Handles need work, may lose something of value

Scout’s Take: Despite his age, the Dark Lord Sauron is a dominant destructive force with the ability to bend his enemies to his will. He will dominiate on the offensive and defensive end of the floor and is poised to be a leader for team Middle Earth.

Ratings: Sauron – PF: A A B A B+ A

Stipulation: Can play PG, retires at the end of the season if Frodo records a 40-point game

Aragorn:

Strengths: Excellent scorer, elite scoring ability in the paint for a guard. Good athleticism and vision. Elite perimeter defender, good blocks for a guard.

Weaknesses: Outside needs work

Scouts Take: Teams won’t find a more reliable combo guard than Aragorn. Most believe he’s best suited to play SG but could be an elite backup 1/2/3 thanks to his reliability and versatility.

Ratings: Aragorn – SG: B A- B A C B

Stipulation: Blessed with Numenorian genetics

Gandalf:

Strengths: Elite inside for a point guard. Elite outside shooting. Excellent vision and handles

Weaknesses: Needs to bulk up, defense is lacking

Scouts Take: Most say the only rival to Sauron’s dominance is Gandalf. An elite PG, there is no better player to lead your team, especially on a road trip to Mordor.

Ratings: Gandalf – PG: B+ A A B- C C

Stipulation: Potential resets to 100 if he suffers the following injuries:
- Broken Skull by Balrog
- Depression by Balrog
- Death by Balrog

Legolas:

Strengths: Elite outside range. Elite vision and athleticism

Weaknesses: Not a good rebounder

Scout’s Take: An absolute flamethrower of a shooter. Arguably the best shooter Middle Earth has to offer. May not fill the stat sheet elsewhere but most scouts are saying this guy cant miss.

Ratings: Legolas- SG: C- A+ B- C C B

Stipulation: None

Witch-King of Angmar

Strengths: Does a fair bit of everything. Elite Athleticism. Excellent range for a big. Excellent rebounder. Good inside and vision.

Weaknesses: Handles need work, Women on the battlefield

Scout’s Take: This is one scary MFer. Can do a fair bit everything, will score in bunches and rebound extremely well. Some say Sauron taught him everything he knew in his prime.

Ratings: Witch-King of Angmar – C: A A C+ B A- A

Stipulation: No man can kill him

Rest of Roster:
Gimli – PF: B- C- B B B+ C
Bormir – SG: B B+ B- B C+ D
Frodo – PG: C C+A+ D+ D A
Sam – SF: B- C+ B- D+ D B
Theoden King – C: B- C C+ B B- D
Gollum – SG: C- C B+ D D- D
Uruk Hai – C: C+ C D B+ A- D


Westeros Dragons Top Players

Jon Snow:

Strengths: Elite offensive ability, excellent vision. Decent rebounder and will get steals.

Weaknesses: Handles need a lot of work. May fumble hot redhead wildling and mad queen.

Scout’s Take: From Bastard son to King of the North, there isn’t a better PG out there to lead your team. Elite offensive and defensive abilities, Jon Snow was once regarded as the best swordsman in all of Westeros. With some attention to his handles, he could be King of the entire league.

Ratings: Jon Snow – PG: B- A- A A B- A

Stipulation: Potential resets to 100 if you roster a Red Priestess

The Mountain:

Strengths: Strength

Weaknesses: Talking

Scouts Take: The lord of all butts, Gregor Clegane is an absolute force in the paint, boasting unparalleled size and strength. At 6'9'' and 385 pounds, he is virtually immovable on both ends of the floor. His sheer presence alone intimidates opponents and deters anyone from challenging him in the post.

Ratings: The Mountain – C: A+ D+ C A- A+ C

Stipulation: None

The Hound:

Strengths: Elite rebounder, can score inside, will get a block and a steal.

Weaknesses: Jump shot needs work, will take threes.

Scouts Take: Sandor Clegane plays with a rugged edge and fearlessness that defines his game. He’s a bruiser in the post who isn’t afraid to get physical. His toughness makes him a standout defender and rebounder, especially against physical opponents.

Ratings: The Hound – PF: A- C+ C+ A- A- C

Stipulations: None

Ned Stark:

Strengths: Good all-around scorer, excellent rebounder for a guard

Weaknesses: Prone to head injuries

Scouts Take: Ned Stark is the ultimate team captain. He leads by example, displaying integrity, discipline, and selflessness both on and off the court. Teammates rally around him, and he’s known for holding himself and others accountable.

Ratings: Ned Stark – SG: B B+ B- B C+ D

Stipulations: Ratings/Development are eerily similar to Boromir from Middle Earth

Jamie Lannister:

Strengths: Elite outside shooter, very handsome

Weaknesses: Twin sisters

Scouts Take: Jaime Lannister is a versatile player who can excel as both a wing scorer and defender. His combination of size, skill, and agility allows him to guard multiple positions and adapt to various roles depending on team needs.

Ratings: Jamie Lannister – SF: C+ A B- B+ C- C

Stipulations: Any hand injuries cut potential in half.


****I forgot the Night King (fuckkkk) but im too far gone at this point

Rest of Roster:
Daemon Targaryen – SG: B- B+C-C-D C
Oberyn Martell – PG: C B+ A- D+ B B
Brienne of Tarth – PF: C+ D C B B+ C
Arya Stark – PG: C- A B C+ D+ A
Robert Baratheon – C: A D+ D A- A D
Khal Drogo – PF: B+ B- B- B B+ C
Grey Worm – SG: C B B- B- C B

Box Scores

Game 1

Game 2

Game 3

Game 4

Game 5



Ultimately the Westerosi depth proved to be too much for the star power of Middle Earth, Westeros takes this one 4-1. This was fun,we'll be back with more

[Merv]

Theoden starting over the witch king?! Tolkien decided to tank?

[Tyler]

*donates his own RP in awe*

[SoNicks]

this is a fantastic fucking article!

you should be proud of the 300rp youll get from working on this as youve clearly maxed out the grading criteria. its an added benefit that you wont be contributing to RP inflation by earning too much on this superb article!!!

[Matt]

For my productivity's sake, this was unfortunate timing to drop this dope article

[Matt]

you should be proud of the 300rp youll get from working on this as youve clearly maxed out the grading criteria. its an added benefit that you wont be contributing to RP inflation by earning too much on this superb article!!!

This is such a shitty and annoying post

[Boredo]

Also after the season, somehow Aragorn retired at the age of 81, but lord Sauron is still kicking at the ripe age of 71,000, guess Frodo couldn’t score 40

[Boredo]

I’m not sure why this thing started Theoden over the witch king, witch king is OP

[jwoo]

Excellent work

Bonus for readable formatting

[Boredo]

Hobbits=Tank commanders