Tank Commanders - Starting 5 - 2012-13 Szn
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mantypas/CavsCzar
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Tank Commanders - Starting 5 - 2012-13 Szn
I teased it in Jwoos article so I said fuck and and wrote one up. Enjoy!
The article everyone wanted. Some of us win. Some of us try to win and win. Some of us try to win and lose. Some of us try to lose but end up winning. Some of us try to lose, and lose. Those that want to lose and lose are not known as losers though. They are tankers. I was one of them. I merely adopted the darkness. Unlike Swamp Steve, who was born int it and molded by it. Anyways, tankers do their best to lose games in order to get a good draft pick and hope to get a top 3 pick. It’s a tale as old as time. Half of the league did it for Lebron, and teams that really don’t have what it takes and have their picks, they do their best- within the rules. OK – now that I’ve explained something everyone already knows. Let’s just jump right into it. I looked at the non-playoff teams – both minutes played and DCs to see who were just the worst players to start multiple sims. This is my starting five All-Tank-Team.
PG – Isiah Thomas- Honorable Mention – Milos Teodosic (he only played 36 minutes but was a turnover god) and all other Pacers PGs
IT looked to be a fun addition to a young team in need of scoring. You had the defense in DJ, Kawhi and Pat Bev, and IT would’ve been a nice 1-2 punch with OJ the juice man Mayo. However, turns out everyone is better in Sacramento, as IT came to San Antonio, ate a bunch of churros and throwing the ball everywhere. He had a very very bad start in San Antoni, but once OJ was traded, he kinda turned his season around and could be good next year, showing A- outside and B potential. His shooting splits aren’t bad, 45% from the field and 36% from the line, he was the fourth leading scorer at 17.5 PPG and heck he even got a steal a game. But those 3.2 turnovers, non-existent rebounding, and probably horrendous positional defense helped the Spurs to the third-worst record in the league. And he did it while starting in front of Pat Bev, fresh off an All Defense first team nomination. Wild! Shoutout to Tonger for grabbing Milos Teodosic and starting him immediately. That dude had 2.8 turnovers a game in 25.5 minutes in his 36 games as a Pacer. Legendary tanking tactics.
SG – Wesley Johnson – Honorable Mention – Bradley Beal (Sorry Brad love ya king)
I thought it was probably the competitive move putting Wessy J in the starting lineup over Ty Lawson for defensive sake. He really wasn’t that bad and had a couple great performances, including a career high 23 points. But yeah, 11 PPGG shooting 31% from the 3pt line as a SG is not ideal. He did stock it up though with .9 steals and .7 blocks to .9 turnovers. If Steven wanted to run an outside offense, I woulda let Wesley Matthews, who turned into a great journeyman in real life, run at the starting 2. But let this balanced tanking madman COOK! Poor Bradley Beal – he started on and off this season, though he shined at some points, his effiency was pretty poopy, 42% from the field, 33% from 3 and 2.1 turnovers with 1.2 steals and 0.2 blocks. He still has sexy ratings and has ways to climb. Gotta let the rooks play through it though.
SF – Royce White- Honorable Mention – Boris Diaw
Another one for the Swamp! Our mental health king Royce White saw what Sheed went through back in the day and did the same thing, play the 3 as a 4, except in year 1, it did not work out Royce's way, he was not the SF Sheed we saw in Milwaukee and Chicago. Must be the plane rides. He averaged 10.7 PPG, 6.4 boards, and 2.7 assists, not too bad, but he did averaged almost 2 TOs shooting 43% from the field and 14.3% (6-42). Probably because he’s playing out of position, but as you will see in the next section, ya gotta play your rooks! Boris Diaw, has been useful in some games using that huge butt and somehow A defense, but his almost 3 TOs and poor shooting lost our new GM GX some games.
PF – Thomas Robinson – Honorable Mention – Draymond? MKG?
Oh my sweet Cavalier TRob. Couldn’t go to the NDL, so as a very smart GM, I threw him in the starting lineup. His notes “Handles need work” was very very true. Coughed the ball up 1.5 times, which was equal Stock to TO , but he did not score the ball well like his notes. He shot 39% from the field and a putrid 58% from the line. I still have faith, dubbed a very good rebounded, he did just that. 8.5 in 26 minutes. Other rookies. Draymond threw the ball away, but did other stuff ok, except shooting threes. MKG Played good defense, but that was about it.
C- Andre Drummond – Honorable Mention – Greg Monroe? DeJuan Blair?
Another rookie, catching a trend? It’s not that he was bad, he was a phenomenal rebounder with 9.5 in 27 minutes, he just didn’t really do much else. He shot 39% and coughed the ball up 1.6 times. He did have a positive stock to TO with 2 stocks, but he couldn’t hit a free throw either, shooting 57% from the line. Helped lead the Pacers to the second worst record. Shoutout to Greg the leg Monroe, he put up 9PPG and 10RPG, but shot 38.6 from the field and coughed the ball up 1.5 times. Also positive stock to TO, but barely, with only 1.8 stocks. He didn’t make the starting line up here because he could make a little more FTs, shooting 68.8% (sure ill round up to 69% here). DeJuan Blair didn’t get to start a lot but when he got traded to the Raps, he got some run and stank it up.
Bonus round - Bad Bench Players from each tanker that got minutes
Lakers – Jordan Williams – Backup C
Cavs – Ish Smith – Backup PG
Spurs – Tiago Splitter – Backup C
Nets – Derrick Favors – Backup PF
Pacers – All of their backup PGs averaging 2.3-24 a game (Kirk Hinrich, Shelvin Mack, Reggie Jackson)
Timberwolves – DJ Augustin – backup PG
Raptors – Jeremy Evans – Backup PF/C
Heat – Taj Gibson - Backup PF/C
Well this was fun. We’ve all learned a valuable lesson. If you want to stink, start a bunch of rookies/young guys that are not fully developed. Common sense-y and all. Folks, come into the comments and defend your guys!
The article everyone wanted. Some of us win. Some of us try to win and win. Some of us try to win and lose. Some of us try to lose but end up winning. Some of us try to lose, and lose. Those that want to lose and lose are not known as losers though. They are tankers. I was one of them. I merely adopted the darkness. Unlike Swamp Steve, who was born int it and molded by it. Anyways, tankers do their best to lose games in order to get a good draft pick and hope to get a top 3 pick. It’s a tale as old as time. Half of the league did it for Lebron, and teams that really don’t have what it takes and have their picks, they do their best- within the rules. OK – now that I’ve explained something everyone already knows. Let’s just jump right into it. I looked at the non-playoff teams – both minutes played and DCs to see who were just the worst players to start multiple sims. This is my starting five All-Tank-Team.
PG – Isiah Thomas- Honorable Mention – Milos Teodosic (he only played 36 minutes but was a turnover god) and all other Pacers PGs
IT looked to be a fun addition to a young team in need of scoring. You had the defense in DJ, Kawhi and Pat Bev, and IT would’ve been a nice 1-2 punch with OJ the juice man Mayo. However, turns out everyone is better in Sacramento, as IT came to San Antonio, ate a bunch of churros and throwing the ball everywhere. He had a very very bad start in San Antoni, but once OJ was traded, he kinda turned his season around and could be good next year, showing A- outside and B potential. His shooting splits aren’t bad, 45% from the field and 36% from the line, he was the fourth leading scorer at 17.5 PPG and heck he even got a steal a game. But those 3.2 turnovers, non-existent rebounding, and probably horrendous positional defense helped the Spurs to the third-worst record in the league. And he did it while starting in front of Pat Bev, fresh off an All Defense first team nomination. Wild! Shoutout to Tonger for grabbing Milos Teodosic and starting him immediately. That dude had 2.8 turnovers a game in 25.5 minutes in his 36 games as a Pacer. Legendary tanking tactics.
SG – Wesley Johnson – Honorable Mention – Bradley Beal (Sorry Brad love ya king)
I thought it was probably the competitive move putting Wessy J in the starting lineup over Ty Lawson for defensive sake. He really wasn’t that bad and had a couple great performances, including a career high 23 points. But yeah, 11 PPGG shooting 31% from the 3pt line as a SG is not ideal. He did stock it up though with .9 steals and .7 blocks to .9 turnovers. If Steven wanted to run an outside offense, I woulda let Wesley Matthews, who turned into a great journeyman in real life, run at the starting 2. But let this balanced tanking madman COOK! Poor Bradley Beal – he started on and off this season, though he shined at some points, his effiency was pretty poopy, 42% from the field, 33% from 3 and 2.1 turnovers with 1.2 steals and 0.2 blocks. He still has sexy ratings and has ways to climb. Gotta let the rooks play through it though.
SF – Royce White- Honorable Mention – Boris Diaw
Another one for the Swamp! Our mental health king Royce White saw what Sheed went through back in the day and did the same thing, play the 3 as a 4, except in year 1, it did not work out Royce's way, he was not the SF Sheed we saw in Milwaukee and Chicago. Must be the plane rides. He averaged 10.7 PPG, 6.4 boards, and 2.7 assists, not too bad, but he did averaged almost 2 TOs shooting 43% from the field and 14.3% (6-42). Probably because he’s playing out of position, but as you will see in the next section, ya gotta play your rooks! Boris Diaw, has been useful in some games using that huge butt and somehow A defense, but his almost 3 TOs and poor shooting lost our new GM GX some games.
PF – Thomas Robinson – Honorable Mention – Draymond? MKG?
Oh my sweet Cavalier TRob. Couldn’t go to the NDL, so as a very smart GM, I threw him in the starting lineup. His notes “Handles need work” was very very true. Coughed the ball up 1.5 times, which was equal Stock to TO , but he did not score the ball well like his notes. He shot 39% from the field and a putrid 58% from the line. I still have faith, dubbed a very good rebounded, he did just that. 8.5 in 26 minutes. Other rookies. Draymond threw the ball away, but did other stuff ok, except shooting threes. MKG Played good defense, but that was about it.
C- Andre Drummond – Honorable Mention – Greg Monroe? DeJuan Blair?
Another rookie, catching a trend? It’s not that he was bad, he was a phenomenal rebounder with 9.5 in 27 minutes, he just didn’t really do much else. He shot 39% and coughed the ball up 1.6 times. He did have a positive stock to TO with 2 stocks, but he couldn’t hit a free throw either, shooting 57% from the line. Helped lead the Pacers to the second worst record. Shoutout to Greg the leg Monroe, he put up 9PPG and 10RPG, but shot 38.6 from the field and coughed the ball up 1.5 times. Also positive stock to TO, but barely, with only 1.8 stocks. He didn’t make the starting line up here because he could make a little more FTs, shooting 68.8% (sure ill round up to 69% here). DeJuan Blair didn’t get to start a lot but when he got traded to the Raps, he got some run and stank it up.
Bonus round - Bad Bench Players from each tanker that got minutes
Lakers – Jordan Williams – Backup C
Cavs – Ish Smith – Backup PG
Spurs – Tiago Splitter – Backup C
Nets – Derrick Favors – Backup PF
Pacers – All of their backup PGs averaging 2.3-24 a game (Kirk Hinrich, Shelvin Mack, Reggie Jackson)
Timberwolves – DJ Augustin – backup PG
Raptors – Jeremy Evans – Backup PF/C
Heat – Taj Gibson - Backup PF/C
Well this was fun. We’ve all learned a valuable lesson. If you want to stink, start a bunch of rookies/young guys that are not fully developed. Common sense-y and all. Folks, come into the comments and defend your guys!
FOR THE LAND - believe!
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