SLN: Bored on a Train (New Vehicle, Same Nonsense)

[Merv]

Bored on a train

A new installment in my “I primarily write SLN articles on modes of transportation that rhyme with pain.” Today, it’s train!! [Editor’s note: this is super ramble-y and I apologize]

1. Playoff Race

The race for home court advantage is…no one fucking cares! The 7/8th seed races are where all the juices get flowing and people get the honor of getting waxed in the first round or become legends like the Summer of Linsanity in the Rocky Mountains. Starting with the West, I think there are 5 teams competing for 2 spots. Your current 7/8, Minnesota and LA Clippers will try to fight off Tim Hardaway Jr’s endless barrage of buckets, the Ryno lifting off in Houston, and the Jesster of Sacramento who we all know will have a few trades up his sleeve. I think Minnesota is close to a lock here barring injury and the 8th spot will be a total bloodbath. My personal bet is on the Kangz because Jesse will convince someone that Eddy Curry is fun and heist a solid big - someone who rejected that traitor out of hand! Meanwhile in the East, we should have a very exciting race ahead! The tearing down Pacers (r they tho?), Swamp Dragons, LeBroners, Pistons, Bulls, and Cavs are all fighting for the luxury of being waxed by Joel Embiid and Boogie Cousins. 3 of these 5 will make it so I guess the odds are about 50% better. The Bulls should have Linsanity coming which will help bolster their case. The Cavs should improve after adding to their front court and banishing the real Dubious Handle, Paul George. The Pistons are a different team with Brandon Jennings and Andre Roberson is back to useful (take that Tong!). The 76ers are a 3 man team that started off hot and has been pretty bad after losing Primoz Brezec. I don’t see any real moves for them to add to probably the worst front court in the league that’s actually trying to have a real roster, so odds aren’t in their favor. The Swamp needs to improve its rebounding and could potentially do that, plus AD and Blake are really good. Finally, the Pacers are theoretically blowing it up, it’s just taking forever!! Gut feeling, I’m rolling Swamp, Bulls, and Cavs, assuming Tong actually blows it up.

2. West > East

Guys, it finally happened. It’s been rumored for a millennia, but for the first time since I’ve been in SLN, I can comfortably say top to bottom, the west is the best conference this year. The East has about 4 legitimate contenders and 3 god awful tankers with some slop in between. Meanwhile the west is trotting out 5 teams that I think could make the finals (sorry Clint, not quite yet) and only has 2 tankers. Although Kipke should be ashamed for this abomination!

3. New Lotto Changes - Thoughts

I’m so thrilled this is going to happen, albeit only at some point. Tanking sucks, and just tanking to be 6-76 is SO LAME! Total waste of a month of SLN. The flatter odds should lead to some pretty spicy jumps and open the door for teams to sell way more near the deadline if they think they can get to adequate odds around 7-9. My biggest gripe over the tanking and the current system is that it completely ruins any conception of a trade market. It feels like more than ever all of the talent is generally concentrated amongst teams already in the playoff spots and there’s no meaningful acquisitions or negotiations to have. I mean there’s nothing that can help a good team this season on the Nuggets, Celtics, or Sonics that can be reasonably acquired. Granger is fine but makes a fortune. WCS is going to require 2 FRPs based on how quickly I got shooed away, plus he clearly doesn’t make Joe better. Seattle has Julius Randle, but he just got +20 pot and will be an exorbitant cost for a guy half the league doesn’t think is any good. If you’re still reading this far, I have a special lotto based insight on the trade market stuff just for you! I know Tyler just did a giant thing about how picks generally suck and end up in the 20s, but I think once the flatter odds hit, those kind of interesting dart throw picks like if you had CHI, DET, or CLE 19 are all very interesting because they’ll have better odds of jumping and can jump 1-4 instead of just 1-3. Pick value ^


4. Where are all the Good Bigs?

I could be an idiot, which I freely admit is the Occam’s Razor answer to this, BUT, it does feel as the league has progressed to Morey Ball NBA, there’s just really not that many good bigs anymore. ESPECIALLY your garden variety solid role playing bigs. Oh we miss you Nazr, Mad Dog, and Adonal Foyle!! You have been replaced by bums such as Enes Almost Freedom, Dejuan Balair, and Jordan Hill. There are a few teams who it feels like are holding all the fun bigs that would be on this market like…I guess me? with John Thinson now, Vancouver with Noah and Ibaka, and Knicks with Petro, Biyombo, and the corpse of Borschtfart. My unscientific observation is that rebounding is generally down particularly amongst backup bigs, so hats off to you Ashes, as always, you seem to have driven the changes you wanted.

5. Closing Thoughts: Rule Changes

I think I’ve discussed this stuff before but would like to get some league discussion…although I ask for discussion on nearly every post and get a fun 3 comments typically. I probably just need to lie and make some wildly outrageous takes…Warriors are better than those bum ass fraudulent Raptors, Marvin Williams is better than Carmelo Anthony, the Lakers have a ton of fun names and concepts but I have no idea if that ever gels into a team, Isaac Bonga is overrated and shouldn’t be starting, and D’Angelo Russell is the new Deron Williams…are these real takes, are they not? [Editor’s Note: Sorry for rambling]. NEW RULES, back on it. I think we should try to come up with incentives for competing that are not heavily favored to winning titles. Call me lame, but the league is better when everyone is trying to be decent and I’d rather incentivize that than reward a guy who has a top 5 player in the league. Is it a multiplier bonus of RP for each consecutive playoff appearance? Matt should’ve been rewarded handsomely for the 0 time SLN Champ era because he was always really good. Maybe it’s more RP for just making the playoffs and less for advancing to convince people to buy at the deadline. Maybe it’s some type of tiny bonus (like +2 that’ll probably go away in TC) you could give a player for winning your division 3 times in a row or winning 50 games 3 times in a row. Nick definitely didn’t read to this point, so I’m in favor of his B- grade and think he should stop tanking and get a plan! Anyways, my train is almost here and these are my rambled thoughts. I hope the 2 people that made it this far had fun.

[GrundleSauce]

Take a look at the biggest of men: Prince Gregory Oden

[Wes]

I like the idea of increased awards for making the playoffs consecutive years in a row. Its like that magazine drive from elementary school, always wanted to go in that money blowing machine but never could. 5 straight years, $5mil salary cap exception, 10 years free +5

[jwoo]

it's a brat summer for chad xcx

[mantypas/CavsCzar]

appreciate the regular szn faith in the land

[mantypas/CavsCzar]

I also had to google if a train is considered a vehicle (it is, I am dumb) - was thinking its more of a form of transportation which I guess is inherently a vehicle.... disregard all lol

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450 RP