2028 Live-ish Draft Reactions (in-progress)

[Clinton]

Enjoy my unruly, extremely facetious takes on your horrendous draft choices. Using Fortune Teller Baba, i predict that the avg grade for you goons will be C+ this year. LETS SEE HOW SENSITIVE WE ALL ARE! Lol

While we wait on our statistics whiz Monsieur Tong Papi to make his pick, i wish to congratulate him and Jordo on championship seasons in the NDL and SLN respectively. The Ants lead by MVP LaBaron Philon, Hansen Yang, and Sinan Huan went on a magical run to bring a championship to Fort Wayne.

Reports out of San Antonio are that the current dildo throwing at WNBA games is an ode to Gradey Dick getting the Spurs a championship. Keep em flying people.

Draft File:draft/draftplayers-pot.htm

A tad bored so im just gonna list the top 5 by each rating.

Inside:
1. Rayvon Griffith(SF): B+
2. Beckham Black(PG): B+
3. Paul Osaruyi(PF): B+
4. King Gibson(SG): B
5. Khani Roots(SF): B

Outside:
1. Baba Oladotun(SG): A-
2. Jackson McAndrew(PF): B+
3. Gavin Griffiths(SF): B+
4. Godson Okokoh(PF): B+
5. Christian Anderson(PG): B

Handles:
1. Beckham Black(PG): B+
2. Donovan Dent(PG): B+
3. Christian Anderson(PG): B
4. “The Kid” Dooney Johnson(SF): B
5. Aden Holloway(PG): B

Defense:
1. Godson Okokoh(PF): B+
2. Lincoln Cosby(SF): B+
3. Christian Anderson(PG): B
4. Bruce Branch III(SF): B
5. Donovan Dent(PG): B

Rebounding:
1. Rayvon Griffith(SF): B+
2. Tarik Watson(PF): B
3. Jaden Toombs(C): B
4. Motiejus Krivus(C): B-
5. Jayden Quaintance(C): B-

Profile Guys:
King Gibson, Boyuan Zhang, Bruce Branch III, Godson Okokoh, Baba Oladotun, Dooney Johnson, Jayden Quaintance, Karim Lopez
(Rankings by Derek: https://simleaguenirvana.com/viewtopic.php?t=5528)

Draft Order:
LOTTERY:
1. Indiana Pacers: Karim Lopez — SF — Mexico
Analysis: After reading this profile, i can wrap my head around this pick. Wings that can rebound at an elite level are like a cheat code in SLN. The Thompson Twins are the new status quo at SF, so getting a guy who shows signs of that all around play like them is a solid idea. Still, 5 guys with higher scouted pot Tong, so you know what grade this is getting.
Grade: C+

Edit: im lowkey liking this pick by Tong. Just surprised me out of the gate. Ill bump my grade up because fuck it.
Grade: A

2. Los Angeles Lakers: Godson Okokoh — PF — UCLA
Analysis: I found it intriguing that a PF had B+ outside and B+ defense. Do you change him to SF? Do you just let him burn at PF to get those inside/strength gains? Decisions. Yeah idk, dude is probs happy that he gets to stay in LA as well(which is a thing because Ashes spoke about it once). The Lakers have a nice group of young talent and Godson adds a necessary front court piece for them. He instantly becomes their best defender(unless Meleek says otherwise), and can hold down those starting PF minutes w/o taking shots away from others just yet.
Grade: A
3. Denver Nuggets: Baba Oladotun — SG — Maryland
Analysis: Nuggets take the best shooter in the draft. His notes read pretty fucking well. I feel like he really does need +10 strength and his inside/reb ratings will pop. This pick is a little repetitive after the Alijah pick last yr but if you can potentially get the best shooter of All-Time, you go with it. Me thinks Godson was the real want here but thats purely speculation.
Grade: A

TRADE ALERT
4. Chicago Bulls(via CHA): Bruce Branch III — SF
Analysis: The Windy City rebuild is officially underway(draft-wise). Matt snags the top scouted pot player in the file after paying Charlotte the 15th pick and 200RP to move up one pick. Branch’s inside is closer to B than C+ among the B- players in the file. Whereas his outside is closer to C+ than B. His starting defense is the real pull here. Fourth in the file, starting w a B and notes that backup the rating. While not a superstar, this is a great building block for the Bulls organization. I am going to knock this because did you really have to give shit up when there are two SFs at the top of the board? That pot mustve looked juicy in those private workouts.
Grade: B+

5. Charlotte Hornets(via CHI): “The Kid” Dooney Johnson — SF
Analysis: Charlotte makes a nice play here moving back one spot and still getting a top 2 scouted pot guy in the file. On a pure fun basis, Charlotte looks to have gotten the better player. Dooneys notes read like he is a crashout. Just pure balls to the wall at all times. Charlottes roster page is barren so it should be fun figuring out his best position.
Grade: A+

6. Portland Trailblazers: Boyuan Zhang — SF
Analysis: Quady and I were going thru it this past season. He had the cojones to do what i couldnt though and flip into a nice little pivot. If we are talking Boyuan, we are talking the stip. A very similar stip to Eddie Griffins, as Merv pointed out, is like a russian roulette for the player. What i want to know is will Sam be told on +/- to the pot? I guess it makes it more interesting if its all speculation. If Profit makes it to the NDL im gonna be so hyped. But uhm yeah, good pick, fun stip, fits the board. This team is devoid of FC players though so i gotta ding it.
Grade: B+

7. Utah Jazz: King Gibson — SG
Analysis: Might be a hypocrite with my analysis here, so check me if i am. I was cool w Baba to Denver because his shooting could become the best ever. On the flip side, i am a slut for defense and King could become a legitimate chess piece player but will that happen for Ralph is my question. Matisse is the goal but what if the shooting takes too long to come around? He is going to shoot it regardless because of that inside game. Fuck it, i could bitch about what i think the Jazz shouldve done here but im just gonna go with the thought that you can SC his shooting and hope for natural improvement to where King becomes a legendary two-way guy.
Grade: B
8. Charlotte Hornets(via NJN)
9. Milwaukee Bucks
10. Chicago Bulls(via GSW argh)
11. Miami Heat
12. Boston Celtics(Forfeited)
13. Minnesota Timberwolves

NDL ZONE:
14. Indiana Pacers(via SEA)
15. Chicago Bulls(via DET)
16. Vancouver Grizzlies(via SAC)
17. Utah Jazz(via PHX)
18. Vancouver Grizzlies(via LAC)
19. Houston Rockets
20. Portland Trailblazers(via WAS)
21. Sacramento Kings(via ATL)
22. Charlotte Hornets(via PHI)
23. Denver Nuggets(via VAN)
24. Milwaukee Bucks(via NYK)
25. Philadelphia 76ers(via CLE)
26. Los Angeles Lakers(via DAL)
27. Denver Nuggets(via ORL)
28. Toronto Raptors
29. New Jersey Nets(via SAS)

[GX.]

Zero clue that’s how you spell facetious. And took me way too long to figure out that’s the word you spelled. Face-shus is how I read it

[Clinton]

Zero clue that’s how you spell facetious. And took me way too long to figure out that’s the word you spelled. Face-shus is how I read it

[SourKittles]

damn, gotta trade my pick to avoid getting ROASTED

[Clinton]

damn, gotta trade my pick to avoid getting ROASTED

[jwoo]

good work clint

too bad the draft has died

[GX.]

Oh baby I’ll take an A