Tanking
1. No Inside Offense.
2. Nav Rule (You must sign appropriate players to fill positions on your DC)
3. Start your best players and maintain reasonable option choices. There is room for experimentation at my discretion. No...
We have faith in coach Lamar. We have even more faith in our Star PG Lonzo Ball. I repeat, WE TRUST OUR BALLS. And we have the balls to increase the number of balls in our sack. As Lamar’s two youngest gear up for their SLN debut, we know that Lonzo...
We did the Jon Snow thing to former Suns coach and once-sentient human being Monty Williams. By that, we mean we took his body up to the coldest and most northern part of our state, and made sure no one had sex. New Jersey is…not that cold right now, actually. The whole...
Phoenix Suns Head Coach and former Player/Coach, Monty Williams, has died of a heat stroke while tripping ayahuasca in the parking lot of a local Phoenix strip mall right in between a Perkins and Wild Birds Unlimited. The Suns famously traded 750 RPs and 2 firsts for the 90's...
GMs! I know none of you guys are in the finance world so it’s definitely not expected that you guys understand the lingo of trading. So I figured I’d drop some vernacular that you all can use!
Just the Tip - 69RP (usually throw in as a post coital reach around. Once all the nuts and bolts bust,...
The Orlando Magic have announced Steve Kerr and Weremy Jew are no longer members of the organization. We wish them the best in their future and thank them for their contributions to the franchise.
Taking over as head coach, former Lakeland Magic head coach, Mark Diagonal. It is said you...
3. Chingy was booked to appear, but NOT to perform. Do NOT expect Chingy to play “Right Thurr,” “Hollidae Inn,” “One Call Away” or any of his other hits, because we could only afford the performance...
Once… we were the Seattle SuperSadness… The Pacific Northwest's Dumpster, lit on fire with the fury of the ginger. But from the fires of Mount Sonick, spurned the rings to rule the dynasty. These three rings were formed by a young prospect named Dirk Nowitzki. He scored 50ppg in his second game or...
Today, we usher in a new era of the Orlando Magic. We have experienced the highs of Run TMC and Andrew Bogut’s Fun Bunch along with the lows of Shawn Kemp, ZW’s stewardship, and the last few seasons. With the acquisitions of SLN Champion Kawhi Leonard, the ever-solid Al Horford, indomitable Darko...
Indiana Pacers 2014-15 Season Wrap-Up
Samantha Steele with Jimmy Butler, Chris Bosh, and Deron Williams.
SS: We're excited to be here with the 2014-2015 season runners-up, the Indiana Pacers. Jimmy, Chris, Deron - it’s been a few weeks since the team’s heartbreaking loss in the Finals. Walk...
Location: Uncle Mommy’s Bar & Grill in East Rutherford
Time: Just come over here and start drinking
Conditions:
- Must be wearing Swampdragons gear
- No farting
- We cannot and will not do the popcorn chicken machine gun thing again
- Don’t tell Mehmet
- Bring your own memory card
- Only bring...
THE TORONTO STAR
Day 111, 2015
Raptors part ways with Antonio Daniels
TORONTO — The Toronto Raptors organization has parted ways with head coach Antonio Daniels, the team announced following a Day 110 loss to the Bullets in Washington.
After briefly sitting at 34-35, on the cusp of the...
From the desk of Larry Bird, General Manager, and Tonger, President of Basketball Operations.
After an extended run with franchise legends Kobe Bryant and Troy Hudson, the Indiana Pacers have entered a new era led by Jimmy Butler and Chris Bosh.
ORLANDO, FL - We are pleased to announce the official Depth Chart Assistance Program of the Orlando Magic, DC Jesus. After a season filled with peaks and valleys, Magic ownership and DC Jesus thought up a unique, first of its kind partnership in an effort to help Coach Steve Kerr pick the most...
It’s been awhile since i’ve felt like i knew what i was doing. it’s been since… the days of Olden Polynice. So there was nothing else to do than reach out to O.P. and ask him what to do about it. man i was not disappointed. O.P. has got to be one of the nicest guys and seems like truly caring...
Now presenting an aesthetic shift for the New Jersey Swampdragons. See the promotional imaging below, courtesy of our comms team (four drunk dogs and three elder men stacked in a trench coat)
For interview requests, email DrunkDogs@Swampdragons.com
For Uncrustables, go to the supermarket. Or just...
For seven hours, I was out. Done with SLN. Three and a half months of build up for Kawhi went to nothing in one fell swoop courtesy of the GOAT Amelia. All three lotto picks either going backwards or staying the same. The number one overall pick dropping to number four. FOUR?!? How...
Raptors Announce Coaching Changes: Davis Resigns, Antonio Daniels Named Head Coach
TORONTO — March 2, 2024 — The Toronto Raptors organization announced today that the franchise has parted ways with Head Coach Dale Davis, promoting top assistant Antonio Daniels to the top...
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